Looms Of Fate
by LouLouCullen
Summary: Edward has a slip on a hunting trip...Bella runs away twice...Alice and Bella shopping...Bella and Edward build a house...Carlisle and Bella have an epic fight...Charlie knows his daughters goodbye is...forever? A Beta'ed by xXxMarauderettexXx Best Beta in the world! Same story different summary. Bella is OOC...big time! Please R&R *Chapter 35 now up!* New Story Title!
1. Chapter 1

**I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING TWILIGHT!**

Bella's POV

Chapter 1

It was a very lonely Friday afternoon; Edward and Alice were hunting, along with my other favorite vampire sibling, Emmett. I tried to be patient and wait for Edward and to return to me, but it was getting harder and harder as the time drone on, and the seconds ticked by like days and the minutes went by like years. I kept glancing at the clock on the stove and then the microwave and then my cell-every clock read the same-it was only eight in the evening; and Edward was going to be out until ten or later.

So I was surprised to hear a knock on the door; I was instantly excited and hurried to get the door, but Charlie got to it before me. He knew it was not Edward-it was the only way he would answer the door.

"Oh, Dr. Cullen please come in." Charlie offered.

"Thank you Chief Swan. I am very sorry to just show up but I..."

"Carlisle?" I asked coming into the front room. I was anxious as to why Carlisle would be here at a moments notice.

"Good evening Bella." Carlisle said polite as always. His eyes were sad and pleading for understanding-and not mine but Charlies.

"Hi...is everything all right?" I asked anxiously. "Is Edward all right?" I cried out as tears sprang into my eyes at the thought of him being hurt. I was slightly shocked by the fury and rage that consumed me; if someone had hurt him...I would go insane with worry, knowing I would not be able to do anything about it.

"Bella, Edward...slipped." Carlisle told me. I could see the hurt and pain in his eyes for his first created son; I could see the ancient sorrow as his eyes closed for a moment. When Carlisle opened his eyes again they were pleading for Charlies understanding.

"Oh my god! Is he all right! Take me to him Carlisle please!" I pleaded with him.

"Wait, what do you mean Edward slipped?" Charlie asked frustrated for being out of the loop. Charlie knew there was another meaning behind Carlisle's words, but quickly dismissed it.

I internally sighed with relief and I was sure Carlisle was doing the same.

"Edward was some place he was not supposed to be; like in a tree and slipped. He's been crying out for Bella for an hour now. He won't stop screaming for you. I am sorry for just showing up Charlie but would it be possible to take Bella away to me house...maybe even for the night?" Carlisle asked desperately for his son.

"Yes, of course; I hope he will be all right. Bella you can stay as long as you need to." Thank god I had all ready graduated; or it would made things a lot more complicated.

"I know what it is like to see you child in agonizing pain-even though Edward was the one to cause my child that pain-I would not wish it on another parent's child." I heard my dad say as I ran up the stairs to grab my over night bag and toiletries; I grabbed a handful of thongs, some socks, jeans and my favorite hoodie and some tops. I managed to grab two pairs of ballerina flats as I ran back towards the front door.

Carlisle was all ready waiting in the car for me, so I made my goodbye to Charlie a quick one. Charlie was watching some sort of sports show-nothing new there-I quickly hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you dad, you do not know how much this means to me." I told him and he looked shocked by my words. "I love you dad and thanks again, I will call soon." I promised him as I ran out the front door and slammed it shut behind me. Carlisle had the passenger door ready and open for me; all I had to do was shut it behind me.

"What happened? How did this happen Carlisle. He is always so careful of where he hunts." I asked desperately. I knew for a fact that this slip was going to-metaphorically-kill Edward, and drowned him in guilt. It made my heart ache out for him. I felt my heart twist and stutter in my chest; Carlisle looked at me with wide anxious eyes.

"There was an injured hiker alone...when he was hunting he was in that state of mind, he was over come instantly." Carlisle explained when my heart beat at a healthier rhythm. "Not even I could have stopped Bella. He is so upset with himself right now; hes self loathing himself in his room right now. He won't talk to anyone or come out of his room. I thought that maybe you would be able to talk him out of his room or his mood at the least. Please do not feel obligated to do so Bella, this is highly dangerous...you are his singer and he could loose control at any moment and attack you."

I scoffed. "Please...I have faced death more than a few times Carlisle and made it though alive. I am not afraid of Edward. I do understand that he will be a little different...his...eye color and his mood." I knew with every fiber of my being that Edward did not have it in him to hurt me. Crimson eyes or gold; Edward was Edward to me and his eye color or mood did not change anything.

"His mood? You mean you understand that..."

"Its the blood talking...yes." I interrupted him quickly. "I will do what I can, but I know Edward loves me and I know he doesn't have it in him to hurt me, no matter what. I will bring him through this Carlisle, no matter what it takes." I promised him squeezing his arm for reassurance.

One of his hands left the steering wheel to take my hand; Carlisle squeezed it gently and thanked me.

"You do not need to thank me Carlisle...I love him and he needs me." I told him.

Alice was waiting out on the porch with Esme and Jasper. Alice looked angry, Jasper looked like he was struggling thought the emotions as he hugged Alice close to his body, to try and calm her. And Esme looked as if she were crying; it broke my heart, to see her in pain.

"What are you doing!" Alice hissed quietly when we finally made it to the front porch. "Edward is going to be furious with you for this Carlisle!"

Carlisle was about to say something but I snapped at Alice before he could get a word out.

"I do not care Alice, I may not have been around the past century, but I am here now. I love him and his pain is my pain...please Alice...understand.' I begged her. "You know he doesn't have it in him to hurt me Alice; I know that you know that you do not need a vision to see or know that.' I said. "I am going to wait as long as it takes!" I snapped.

"You know Bella's right Alice." Esme whispered hugging me. "If it were the other way around, Edward would do the same thing for her."

"I know your right...mom." Alice sighed, giving up; she must have seen something in her vision to change her mind or she just knew I was stubborn and would do it no matter what anyone else said.

I quickly hugged Alice and smiled weakly at Jasper-sending him some reassuring calm. Jasper smiled back. I waved to Rosalie and Emmett on my way up the stairs.

When I reached his door it was totally silent-he was holding his breath so he didn't hurt me. I knocked one then let myself in.

**SORRY FOR THE CLIFFY! CHAPTER TWO WILL BE READY ASAP.**

**LouLouCullen :)  
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	2. Chapter 2

Bella's POV

Chapter 2

Edward was standing facing the window his reflection was all that I could see-but I knew he was looking into the forest-I saw his eyes close so I could not see the crimson color;and to my utter astonishment...it made me angry and it hurt. I was angry that he thought he had to hide himself from me and hurt because I knew he thought himself the monster he thought himself to be.

"What are you doing here, it is dangerous to be around me right now!" Edward hissed furious not turning to meet my eyes or at all for that matter. I saw his hands contract and his body shift infinitesimally; my blood was calling to him and he was trying to resist the call.

"And how is this different from any other day?" I snorted. "I am fine, and you are too, so please spare me the I am a self loathing monster bull shit." I snapped back.

Edward's eye snapped open, he turned towards me and growled menacingly; but I knew he was only doing to scare me-to try and keep me safe-but it was going to take a lot more then that to scare me off-if at all possible, I thought to myself.

There was no trace of fear in my eyes or face, my heart beat was still even as was my breathing. He knew it wasn't going to work, but if it did; he would hate himself later for it. It went against his very nature to growl at me the way he did.

I waited as he fought his instinct to kill me; then he snapped at me again.

"Get out Bella!" He snarled. "What do you know...huh...do you know what it is like! No you couldn't; could you. Sweet innocent human Bella." That hurt more then he could ever know. "Thinks she knows everything! Now just turn your body and GET OUT NOW!" Edward roared at me. His words cut me like a knife, but I left closing the door behind me.

I sank to the ground by his door and just sat waiting. I knew it wasn't him talking, but it still hurt me, I tried to hold in the tears and be brave for him and for myself; but silently they flowed down my face. I don't know how long I sat there alone in the hall just listening to him breathe.

Esme came up a little while later . "Bella, maybe it would be better if you slept..."

"No, he needs me, even if it just thought the door. I am not moving, I will wait here as long as I need to." I told her.

She gave me two pillows-one to sit on and one for my head-and a huge blanket to keep me warm and comfortable. "Thank you Esme."

"Your welcome dear, try and get some sleep." She said as she disappeared down the stairs.

I tried to survive the night awake, but I guess at some point I fell asleep.

I woke up to Alice's soft voice. "Bella...are you all right, you were crying in your sleep."

"I'm fine...what time is it?" I asked rubbing my eyes; I stretched to ease some of my body's cramped feelings.

"It's just after then in the morning and he still has not come out yet. Bella...maybe it would be best..." Alice was trying to make me leave.

"No!" I shouted. "I know I don't understand...and I was not trying to claim I was." Because I would never be able understand until it happened to me. "He is hurting Alice and I can not give up on him; I refuse to! I just don't know...what to do for him. I wish I did. I want to go to him and take all of his pain away, but I know that if I push him, it could hurt us both. I feel so helpless!" I cried breaking down, slumping against Alice; she embraced me and sat with me as I cried for the one I loved; who was in pain.

It was heartbreaking, it was painful and horrifying; it was his worst fear-one of them at least.

"I wish you could understand." I whispered as the tears silently streamed down my face.

"What do you mean Bella? Understand what?" Alice asked cocking her head to the side eying my up confused.

"To see and understand from my perspective." I said. "To be human and helpless. To not be able to do anything for his pain and suffering; all I can so is sit here and hope he comes out or talks to me or even looks at me. It's like taking a Bullet Alice! It hurts so badly...I fell like I am dying inside and I can do nothing but sit here!" I cried into her shoulder for a while longer; then eventually the tears ebbed.

"Oh Bella...shh, it will be all right. Edward will get through this and you sitting here all night...it does help. Just give him time." Alice soothed me. "How about some breakfast, you must be hungry." Alice was trying to sidetrack me.

"No...not really. I don't want to leave him Alice." I sniffled, not taking the bait she was offering.

Alice sighed and glared at the door for a moment.

"Esme will bring you up something in a little while. Do you want me to leave you alone?" I just nodded; Alice kissed my cheek and descended down the stairs leaving me alone in the hallway once again.

The only way I would leave my spot in the hallway and that was to use the bathroom and shower.

Esme brought me my meals; not that I ate much and it she worried allowed, but I just told her I wasn't hungry. I sat a whole other day in silence by Edward's door just waiting. I had never sat so long in one position before, but it was worth it. I cried once in a while on my own, I plead with Edward through the door; but it was useless.

Carlisle came to check on me this time. "Bella, honey...maybe you should get some air and stretch your legs. You must be uncomfortable, sitting like that all day and night."

I shook my head and gave him the same answer I gave Esme and Alice. "He needs me and I will not leave him."

Carlisle shook his head and sighed, he turned to look at Edward's door and sighed again before he left me alone in the hall again.

I had talked to Charlie today and told him that Edward was doing better, but he still needed me; and I was going to stay as long as it took.

"You really love him a lot; don't ya kid?" Charlie sighed. He was finally putting the puzzle pieces together and it made me smile.

"Truly I do dad." I told him.

"Well tell him to get better and let the Cullen's know I am thinking of them." Charlie said a little embarrassed.

"I will dad and thanks; world's best dad has always been in my list ya know." I said to him and he choked in satisfaction. I stifled a giggle; I told him good night. I curled up on the floor besides Edward's door.

"I love you Edward...maybe...tomorrow..." I trailed of my words as tears tried to escape, but I fought them back and won.

Emmett brought me up my breakfast and sat with me for a little while before he left to go hunting.

"You are helping him little sis." Emmett told me before he left. "You may not realize it, but it does mean the world to him; that you are here, that you are not going to give up on him. He just needs time Bella. Everything will work out for the best."

I decided tomorrow I was going to try and again and open the door. I could give him another day-I needed the strength just in case I was snapped at or shut out again.

When I finally did fall asleep it was with nightmares.

In my dream I was trying to get to Edward, he was standing in his room facing the window; he did not face me. As I ran towards him the hall way got longer and longer, I was never going to reach him.

"Please Edward...don't shut me out!" I cried; reaching out to touch him.

He did not turn and face me but I could his furious voice hissing at me. "I am dangerous Bella...please grasp that! I am a monster!"

"You're not dangerous Edward and your not a monster!" I yelled at him.

When I finally did reach his door; Edward spun across the room and locked his crimson eyes with my chocolate brown. "Goodbye my Bella." He whispered in agony as he slammed the door in my face and the door disappeared.

"NO! Please don't leave me Edward! Please, don't shut me out...Edward...Please!" I cried pounding on the wall, where his door had been.

"Bella...Bella! Wake up Bella!" Jasper said as soothingly as possible.

I woke with a start in Jasper's arms. He was trying to wake me from my nightmare.

"Bella are you all right! You were screaming and kicking the wall in your sleep." He told me as I felt a very thick calm embrace me.

"He left me, he shut me out!" I screamed as the tears poured down my face in an amazing volume. "He left me!"

"Shh, it's all right Bella! He didn't leave you; Edward still has not come out of his room. It was just a dream honey." Jasper soothed me stroking my hair as he rocked me back and forth.

"It hurts Jasper...it hurts so badly!"

"I know honey, I know." Jasper whispered. "We are all hurting right now."

Soon enough I succumbed to exhaustion. I do not know if I slept in Jasper's arms the entire night; but I do know I slept nightmare free the rest of the night.

**CHAPTER 3 COMING REAL SOON! LIKE TODAY SOON...LOL!**

**LouLouCullen :)  
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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Bella's POV

Esme brought me my breakfast again and I tried to eat as much as I possibly could; it wasn't much, but it was something at least.

I quickly showered and then got dressed, I was walking towards Edward's door when I noticed Esme and Carlisle at the top of the stairs-out of Edward's direct line of view.

I knocked once, then twice, then a third time and nothing. I thought maybe he had jumped out of his open window, but he was still standing in the last place I left him three days ago.

"Edward?" I whispered. Nothing, he didn't even blink. I went to take a step and still nothing, but when I went to take another step towards him; he spun towards me and shoved me out the door. He slammed the door in my face again. I lost my balance and fell against the wall; my head hit the wall and I sank to the ground.

"Bella!" Esme shouted as Carlisle caught me before I could hit the ground.

I ignored both Esme and Carlisle; when he finally let me go. I pounded on his door and cried and shouted and pleaded with him.

"Edward! You can't shut me out forever. Please...talk to me...even if it through the door!" I screamed with hot tears running down my face endlessly. "Edward, I love you...I need you...please Edward! Your not a monster and you are not dangerous Edward...it was an accident and I forgive you!" I was desperate to try anything.

I tried opening the door again but he was either holding it closed or he put something heavy against it so I was unable to get in. For more than two hours I screamed and kicked and punched and clawed at his bedroom door; and still nothing.

I did not know what hurt more; the fact that he didn't want me here and shut me out or the silence he continued sharing with me. I finally hit the ground with a hard thump when my legs could no longer hold me up anymore; hitting my head on the floor and then blacked out.

**I KNOW IT IS A REALLY SHORT CHAPTER BUT OTHER POVS COMING UP IN FUTURE CHAPTERS! PLS R&R!**

**LouLouCullen :)  
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	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Edward's POV

I was hunting tonight with Emmett and Alice, while Bella was safe and sound at home making dinner for her and Charlie. I was still in his 'you hurt my daughter and I do not trust you as far as I can throw you' books. It would be funny to see him _try_ and pick me up let alone throw me. I tried my hardest to get Charlie's good graces but he was making it almost impossible-I now know where Bella got her stubbornness from-the thought made me laugh out loud to myself.

_"What's so funny bro?"_ Emmett thought. I just shook my head and let my senses range out.

I silently drifted north up the mountain side towards a male mountain lion; it had been a few weeks since one had been around-there was no way I was going to let it get away from me. I drifted another half mile up the mountain and found my prey watching the little mice down below him skitter across the ground; trying to get home to there little burrows. It took me less time to drink the lion then it took for the little mice to run away. I was more thirsty then I thought I was. I quickly buried it's body under some fallen trees and shrubs.

Then I was on the hunt again too thirsty to care what I took down next. Quickly running back down the mountain to join Alice and Emmett I smelt a small heard of Elk they had scared off a little while ago; I again drifted silently towards the scent; then it hit me from the East.

Human blood; it was instinct and I acted on it so poorly. Alice saw a minute to late on what I was planning, she and Emmett couldn't catch me if they wanted too; I always had the advantage of being the fastest runner in the family and I always used it to my ability.

_"Edward! No! Stop..."_ Emmett roared at me in his thoughts and I ignored him.

I could smell the sweet scent so much more potent then a few minutes ago. Whoever it was, would not suffer; I was the perfect killer. I would snap his or her neck so fast they would not even have time to register they were not alone. I lunged, closing the gap quickly between myself and my prey. It was kind of unnerving when i heard the snap of the man's neck before I actually felt it in my hands. I pressed my teeth through his soft flesh so easily and eagerly drank in a rush; knowing Emmett and Alice were coming and would try and stop me.

The man's sweet, hot blood was done before I was; I could feel the heat course through my body like a wild fire and shivered at the long forgotten feeling-or was it forgotten?

"Edward!" Emmett called out loud this time. I turned towards the sound of his voice. "Edward...did you?" He asked cautiously.

"NO!" I moaned; I let the mans drained corpse hit the forest floor with a heavy thud. Then it clicked for me; the forgotten warmth...Bella...My Bella!

"Edward, it's all right Carlisle is on his way; he knows it was an accident." Alice said gently "No one will be the wiser by tomorrow morning; the wolves will never find out." Alice offered trying to calm me down.

"But Bella will!" I cried out. "Alice..." I begged her.

Alice searched the very immediate future and we could use the excuse of making it a weekend hunt; Bella would by it and stay home or go to La Push none the wiser. I would have to tell her eventually; it was wrong for me to hide something like this from her after all she has been though; with James in Phoenix and Laurent and Victoria and her new born army and learning about Jacob and his friends ancestry secret. My Bella.

Would I have to stay away from her longer than necessary because I had slipped; would I have to leave her again and hurt her so deeply again. I growled out of frustration and anger as I thought of my precious angel alone hurt and crying. I wanted to drain the mans blood from my body and leak the crimson color out of my eyes; I wanted to run to Bella right now and beg for her forgiveness for the horrible mistake I made.

Carlisle and Jasper arrived as I was in the middle of my thought.

_"Son...are you all right? I know you feel horrible right now but it was just an accident." _Carlisle thoughts were trying to soothe me as Jasper's medium actually calmed me down and let me think more clearly.

"An accident!" I roared at my father. "It could have been Bella! this could be Bella!" I cried sinking back down to the ground.

"But it's not Bella, Edward; and it never could be. You could never hurt Bella Edward; so do not think like that." Carlisle said putting his hand on my shoulder.

_"You could never hurt Bella!" _Alice's thoughts screamed at me.

"I have to leave, I can't be around her right now...I can't even think of looking at her right now."

"ARE YOU INSANE! YOU WILL KILL HER IF YOU LEAVE HER AGAIN EDWARD. BELLA CAN NOT SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU AND YOU KNOW IT!" Alice screeched at me. "My earlier vision will work Edward, if you lie to her...she will believe you."

"Fine!" I snapped.

"And what was your vision Alice?" Jasper asked gravely.

"Edward has to tell Bella he is going to go on an weekend hunting trip; she will end up staying home or go to LA Push. The wolves will be none the wiser and neither will Bella. She doesn't need to know Edward."

"Sounds like a good plan to me...but...there is one thing." Emmett said furrowing his eyebrows in thought. "Bella is too smart for her own good, if we go home now and she comes to visit the rest of the family? Bella knows that you would never leave her unprotected for the entire weekend; she will figure it out and it will hurt her just as much."

"Good point." I muttered. "Then I will go to Denali for the weekend. Bella and Esme and the rest of you can watch over her." I suggested.

"NO! If you would just trust me, our original plan will work!"

Alice handed me her cell phone and ran off for some privacy.

I could not make myself call her and lie to her like this; the first memory I pulled from the back of my mind-so far back I thought it was lost, but vampires _never_ forget anything and remember in perfect clarity.

_'You...don't...want...me?"_ The memory caused me more pain then I ever thought imaginable; it felt as if I was doing it all over again-with Bella standing in front of me-I could not lie to her like this...even if it was for her own good. I could not cause her that much pain ever again; even if it was just a lie. I knew without a doubt disappointment would leak though her voice when I called to lie to her and she would be miserable for three days because I would lie to her.

How was I supposed to to protect her?

Carlisle and the rest of my family found me standing; just standing, staring at the phone.

"Edward...you must...to protect her." Alice whispered.

"I can't Alice! I can't lie to her like that, I can not hurt her like that again Alice; I could not survive hurting like that again. It would kill me and her...she is still so fragile Alice. It would kill her in the end when she does find out that I lied to her. Bella will think I don't trust her enough or if I am gone for too long she will freak out and sink back into that wretched depression. I can not hurt her Alice! Please...understand." I begged her; I could feel my face etched in worry, panic and sorrow. I could see the pity in there eyes. I could see Bella's tear streaked face as I told her everything I told her was a lie.

I was a monster.

"Calm down Edward...we will find a way though this." Carlisle promised me, his golden eyes were perfectly clear now; no pity or anger. Just forgiveness and understanding and it made me sick to my stomach. "Emmett and Jasper can dispose of the body while we go home and figure this out." Carlisle said.

"Of course." Emmett and Jasper agreed without hesitation or complaint; it made me feel even more guilty-but I would have done it for them.

Alice and Carlisle and I ran home; Esme and Rosalie all ready knew; and as I expected Esme opened her arms for me to run into and I did.

"Mom...I...I"

"It's all right son, it was an accident and nothing more." Esme soothed me. Esme's was as much my father as Carlisle was my father; when I hurt, they both hurt. "What are you going to tell Bella?" My mother asked.

"I don't know!" I moaned into her shoulder. "I can't hurt her Esme, it would kill her if anything happened to anyone of us; especially me! I don't know what to do."

_"Maybe telling her is the best option Edward."_ Rosalie suggested mentally.

I broke away from Esme gently and hissed furiously at my sister shaking my head.

"NO! You know what Bella will do; she will come straight here, and I do not know if I can control myself around her." I fumed at the idea of me hurting her and flinched violently when the image flooded my mind.

"Maybe you won't son." Esme said softly wrapping her arms around my waist to hug me.

"NO! I can not put my Bella though this, It would break her heart! She can't live without a beating heart!" I sobbed. "I can never ever, _ever_, hurt her heart like that again! I want her right now, I want nothing to more then to hold her to me and breathe her in and kiss her warm perfect lips..."

"Edward...calm down, please. We will find a way through this!" Jasper said releasing a heavy calm around me, but I wanted to be alone right now.

"Just...leave me alone please, let me think!" I snapped. I ran to my room and shut the door; I blocked out everyone's thoughts for hours; I knew I had a few hours left before Bella would call worried about me. I could think of something by then...right?

I went back the glass picture window in my room and stared into the starless velvet purple of night, into the forest and out of my own mind.

What I thought was hours later-maybe even days-when I heard a very familiar heart beat mixed with the most beautiful voice in the world coming closer to my door.

I was frozen in a block of ice, I was out of time, but anything I did would hurt her in the end. So my next question was the most pitiful, awful and remorseful question I had to answer myself.

What was the best way and less harmful way to hurt my Bella?

Could I do it?

Would I do it?

Would she forgive me afterwards?

Could my hurting her so deeply again, drive her away into the arms of the mutt Jacob?

So many questions and no answers. I was out of time when the door opened and the love of my existence stood in my door way with nothing but love and understanding in her eyes; she hurt because I hurt and I was only going to hurt her more than I ever had before.

**NEW CHAPTER COMING SOON! PLS R&R!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Alice's POV

YAY!

I was so lucky to be hunting with my two-and only-brothers in the world! I was so excited!

I practically tugged Emmett's arm off his body. "Come on...let's go, let's go!" I chimed making my way to the back yard. "Edward, I am watching out for Bella; besides she is safe and sound at home, let's go all ready!" I whined.

"Calm down little pixy monkey! Were going soon." Emmett laughed swinging his arms as I held on for dear life-no pun intended.

"What no goodbye kiss?" Jazzy asked with his most adorable mock pouty face. I let go of Emmett's arm and ran into my Jazz's arms and kissed him with as much passion as I could force out of my tiny little body. "If you keep on doing that, I won't let you go hunting with your two favorite brothers." I winked at him and he just laughed. "Be safe my love and keep an eye on my little sister."

"Will do Jazz!" I promised him leaving the comfort of his arms and tangled off Emmett's massive arms like a monkey. "Edward get your sparkly ass down stairs now before I call Bella and tell on you!"

"Evil little pixy, so annoying!" I heard him mutter as he flew down the stairs.

Edward would never admit it out loud-in his entire existence-but he was afraid of Bella even though she was human and so horribly fragile it was funny. He was deathly afraid of loosing her to anything and everything that would or could harm her; the words _danger magnet_ were engraved on her when she was born or even before then; but I loved my little sister, my best friend. I had no problem with fighting for her; she kept things around here entertaining, with her clumsy, selfless, warm-literally-personality.

"Evil little pixy!" He mumbled again striding out the back door towards the river's edge. I could not blame him for his sudden down mood; I was the same when I was away from my Jasper, but at least Jasper could come when I wanted him too. Bella could not and it killed him to leave her behind as it did to the rest of us-just not as strongly. It killed him to see the look of fear in her eyes as he left her to go hunting when we came home after we had left her.

Everyone was upset with themselves when we returned home and found Bella broken and bleeding. It hit Edward the hardest; to see Bella sleep deprived and severely under weight, her spirit had been broken; fear and desperation had taken it's place. Carlisle had looked her over once we were settled into our old home and old lives. I can still remember that vision clear as day, and it haunts me.

_"Bella...have you been eating or sleeping at all?" Carlisle asked her. The look in Carlisle's eyes begged Bella for forgiveness and understanding; Bella was his daughter, as much as I or Rose was and he hurt her by leaving her behind. Stealing her choices and family from her._

_"I tried...but I was never really able to keep anything down long enough to gain the proper nutrition; as for the sleeping part...seven months of the same nightmare. It took everything I had to...to...close my eyes and sleep. I was so over tired I just learned to live without the sleep, I ran off what my body and mind would give me that particular day_." Bella admitted, knowing we were all down stairs.

_"Bella...I honestly do not know how you lived as long as you have. You should have died months ago. I am putting you on a very healthy diet for the next few months; your almost twenty pounds under weight Bella."_

_"Stop...please...I can't hear anymore! Just please stop!" Bella broke into hysterics. It took Edward, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle and I to calm her down enough so she could sleep._

I had not noticed Emmett running beside me, when I broke out of my trance; Edward was no where to be found.

"He went up the mountain to catch a lion." He informed me. I split off from Emmett and attacked a heard of Elk; I could see all of there pointy antler sticking up all over the place. I quickly took two full sized females down; drained and buried the bodies. Emmett was fighting with his meal of course; the only bear for miles around and Emmett had to pick a fight with it. I watched for a few minutes until I was distracted by a male Elk wandering by himself; easy pray.

Just then I had another vision, but this one was actually happening and I was going to be too late.

"Emmett..." I cried. Emmett abandoned his half drained kill and darted to my side. "Edward...injured hiker...too...late!" I whispered "Call Carlisle and tell him to bring Jazzy!" I commanded him as I darted off towards Edward.

I waited in the shadows as Edward drained the injured male hiker-I did not want to fight Edward over his food. Vampires are very territorial when they hunt humans and I really did not want to loose a limb or have Jazz and Edward fight to the death.

Emmett blew past me, running straight towards Edward. I froze for all of three seconds as I scanned the future and found nothing bad...yet...there was still Bella to consider.

Just thinking her name started my vision; I knew Edward would see it too.

Start of Alice's vision

_Edward would have to call Bella and lie to her to keep her protected and out of the loop._

_"Edward! Are you coming home early?" Bella asked._

_"No, love, I am sorry. We decided to make it a weekend hunt. I know it's the last minute and I will miss you like crazy, but it is a must. I am thirstier that I thought I was; we need to hunt farther away from Seattle and Forks, hunters and hikers are becoming more and more likely. I am so sorry love." Edward lied to his one and only love without skipping a beat; but what she didn't know is that he was being held up by Emmett and Carlisle. It killed him to have to lie to Bella._

"_Don't be sorry Edward, I understand. I will miss you too, maybe I will go up to La Push for the day and your house tomorrow to see Esme and Carlisle." Bella's voice was instantly dissapointed_._ "I love you Edward...have fun and be safe all right, and I promise to do the same." Bella giggled, but it wasn't full of life as it usually was; Bella was trying to pacify Edward._

_"I love you too Bella, be safe my love. Look after my heart I have left it with you." He told Bella; he was crushing a rock the size of my fist into rubble down by his side so Bella could not hear it._

_"Promise! Bag a few mountain lions for me!" Bella laughed. "Call me when you can, love you Edward!"_

End of Alice's vision

I don't know which is worse: Bella believing the lie or her reaction after we lied to her.

I wanted to cry for hurting my best friend like this, we all knew it could have monstrous consequences; Bella was still so fragile when it came to Edward leaving for long periods of time. Even if it was just to hunt for a few hours.

Flashback

_"Bella, love, I have to go hunting for the weekend. I am too thirsty to be around humans; you are one thing, I have one hundred percent control around you but not other humans." Edward had told her friday after school at our house._

_Edward was telling her here so she would feel safe and have the rest of us around so she wouldn't feel abandoned._

_"When are you coming home?" Bella asked clutching to his waist like it was her life line; Bella's heart raced in her chest and her breathing turned to gasping._

_We were prepared for this._

_"Sunday afternoon. Bella...I swear to come home to you, I will never leave you again. I promise to come home Sunday afternoon, I will be home by noon. I promise you love. Esme and Carlisle and Rosalie are all going to be home; you can stay here for the weekend. Carlisle has to go to work tomorrow in the morning, he will be gone before you wake."_

_"Carlisle will come home too?" Bella whispered panicked._

_Carlisle had come in the room to promise Bella, himself that he would come home to her as well._

_"I will come home Bella, I promise you. We will never, ever, ever leave you behind again." Carlisle promised Bella instantly. "Where we go...you go."_

_Bella had detached herself from Edward's waist to cling to Carlisle; if any one of us could cry, we would have been. Bella had her times of doubt when we told her things; it almost killed me when I told Bella I was going shopping for the day. Bella flung herself at me and told me she wanted to come with me. Any other day this would have made me ecstatic; but I knew it was because she thought I was not going to come home to her._

_What shocked us the most was when Jasper was going out; Bella nearly had a heart attack._

"_Jasper!" Bella cried running towards him._

_Jasper held his breath before Bella could get to close to him, she grabbed a hold of his leg like a child would to there father._

_"Bella!"_

_"You are going to come home...you won't leave me_...?"

_"I will come home in a few hours, I swear to you." He promised her. Jasper lifted her from his leg to hold her; Bella buried her face into his neck for a minute before Edward came to take Bella from him._

_"Jasper will be home in a few hours my love, don't worry. Come my love, we will do something to pass the time." Edward suggested._

_"Can we watch a movie?"_

_"We will do anything you desire to do my Bella."_

End of flashback

"Alice?"

"Sorry Jazz, I was having a flashback moment there; we should go and see if Edward has called Bella yet and then go home, we all should."

"I agree, let's get home." Carlisle was all for going home for our safety and Edward's.

Edward had not called Bella, he could not bear to lie to her and hurt her again; no matter what it would cost him. I felt bad for my brother, he was so torn on what to do for Bella; we could not tell her right away and he could not lie to her. Though it was the best option for her, she would feel hurt, but Bella would also understand and forgive Edward in an instant-and he knew that.

"Alice...please understand...I can't hurt her again...I just can't hurt her again, it will kill me to hurt her again."

"It is the only way to protect her Edward." I whispered.

"I can't! I can not hurt her Alice, it will kill her just as much as it will me and I can not hurt her, it goes against my very nature Alice. If you only understood...I...can't Alice."

"Son, we will find another way; a less painful way. Bella is not expecting you home until at least eleven so we can figure out something by then; I am sure of it. You do not need to hurt her now." Carlisle offered.

Edward ran home on his own with us trailing close behind him and it only made him feel more guilty and less trusted. He ran straight into Esme's arms, to relish in her motherly comfort.

Edward was Esme's favorite as was the same with Carlisle and we all knew why. Edward was the first created son, the first of us to be reborn and the first child to a mother who had lost a child of her own. We did not think badly of him for it and he did not flaunt it in our faces or rub it in when someone else was feeling down or upset about something.

At first I thought it was going to be all right, that Edward was going to crack in Esme's arms and come to his senses; but someone had said something in there thoughts that made Edward lash out and hide himself in his room.

I heard the door slam and then nothing, not even breathing; Bella's scent was everywhere in his room and he did not want to give into the call. Then after five minutes of silence, Edward was inhaling as much of Bella's scent as he could; he was trying to desensitize himself again, so he would not hurt her...again.

Most of us just sat around the living room thinking of ways to keep Bella safe; and every so often we heard Edward moan or hiss or growl at our suggestions. It was almost ten O'clock; we were running out of time.

"Alice"

"Well let's go for a walk then!" I squealed in excitement at Carlisle. He just laughed.

Carlisle and I walked at a human pace for a few minutes then sped up to a light jog. We ran for a quite a while-half way to Seattle-before he said anything out loud to me.

"Alice...I need your promise on something, I can not tell you what it is, but I need you to promise me that you will block your thoughts from Edward until I return home. I will not be gone long. And no looking for my future either Alice...please." Carlisle begged me.

"Carlisle...I..."

"Promise me Alice...please!" He begged again.

I could not deny my father anything when he was this desperately in need of something. "Alright Carlisle, you have my word."

"Thank you Alice, I am going to go ahead and tell everyone I got an emergency call from the hospital; that there was a car accident and I am needed. Will they take the bait Alice?" He asked me. I could feel him searching my eyes for the truth as I looked forward into the very short future.

"Yes, they will."

"Please do not feel guilty my child, I would not ask you to do this unless it was very important. You know this." He hugged me close for a moment before he left ahead of me. I let him run alone, so he could get home and tell them all his lies and it gave me time to lock up my thoughts and think about something else to deceive my brother.

**NEW CHAPTER COMING SOON! PLS R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Carlisle's POV

It was a good night; I was snuggling with my beautiful and amazing wife Esme Cullen; we did not get a whole lot of alone time or quiet time for that matter, so we were going to take advantage of the time we were given. Esme was sitting in her office going over some blueprints for the cottage we were going to build for Bella and Edward; a wedding/birthday present. I only smiled at her, and she smiled back. I quickly molded our lips together and cradled her gently against my chest as I made my getaway to our bedroom.

Esme did not ask any questions or pull away or complain; she simply pulled me closer to herself as our lips parted for only seconds. I laid my Esme on our bed and hovered over her to kiss every inch of her beautiful face; her sweet scent intoxicated me and made my head spin our of control.

I heard the tearing of my shirt and felt Esme's nails claw down my back; it made me shiver in pleasure. I brought her mouth to mine once again; our lips moved in perfect harmony, it sounded like the most beautiful music; the worlds best symphony could not compare, not by along shot. I was just about to undress my wife when my cell rang loud and shrill in my pants pocket.

It made me angry. I was with my wife and she deserved all of my attention, not just some. I sighed as I pulled my phone out of my pocket to see Emmett calling me. That caught me off guard, Emmett was hunting with Edward and Alice.

"Hello?"

"Carlisle...I need you to come and bring Jasper." Emmett demanded hurridly.

"What happened?" I asked cautiously. Esme sat up and clutched at my arm in fear of her children in danger.

"Edward..there was an injured hiker and Alice saw a minute too late. We tried to get to him Carlisle, honestly, we did try."

"Emmett calm down, I believe you. Jasper and I are on our way, just keep hidden as best you can in case there are others around. Do not let Edward out of your site and do not call Bella; it will only worry her needlessly."

"Right, okay; no Bella. got it."

"Give us a few minutes, we will be there." I said shutting my phone.

"Carlisle..." the look of agony on my wife's face killed me inside, but I put on my brave face for her and left all traces of fear and anguish out of my eyes to leave them clear and sparkling observation. My wife was not fooled in the least and I felt horrible for deceiving her; I had to tell her the truth. It would cause her so much pain to know her first son, her favorite son was in pain again.

"That was Emmett. Edward...slipped." The almost inaudible gasp that came from my wife's perfect lips cut me dull razor blades; my heart ached for her in ways no human could fathom. "There was an injured hiker, they tried to stop him but it was too late."

"My poor baby! My son...Edward!" Esme sobbed her head in her hands. I hugged her tightly against my chest and kissed her cheek lightly.

"Things will work out my dear Esme, if even if we have to leave for a while."

"We can't!" Esme cried "What about Bella, we can't leave here again Carlisle. It would destroy her! I will not leave my child behind again Carlisle!" Esme screamed; she was furious with me for even suggesting it.

"We will work something out darling." I offered trying to sooth her. I quickly grabbed a white button up shirt and flew down the stairs with Esme on my heels; Jasper and Rosalie were all ready at the bottom of the stairs waiting and ready.

"Carlisle! I am telling you right now I will not leave my child behind again! Bella will not be left behind." Esme was still furious with me.

"I know Esme, we won't leave her behind again, I promise you." I promised. "Jasper, let's go. Rose stay with your mother...please. Take care of each other; we will be home soon."

Jasper and I took off towards the river, following only the scents of Alice, Edward and Emmett; we would find them. Jasper was eager to get to Alice and to Edward; too offer him the support he was given almost a year ago when he thought it was not needed. When he almost attacked Bella in our home; while he struggled against his brother to get get to Bella's blood. He snapped at his wife's face and his sisters. It still haunts him to this day. It haunts all of us; Bella and Edward especially.

It took us only minutes to find them and even less time to get things sorted out; until we ran into a problem. Bella.

Edward did not want to hurt his Bella again; he could not bring himself to do it, and I did not blame him in the least. I felt my sons pain deeply, but it changed nothing for the moment; Bella was our first and only priority.

_"Edward...son...are you all right? It was only an accident." _I asked, but that only opened up the floodgates.

"An accident! Carlisle that could have been Bella. This could be Bella!" he shouted furious.

"But it was not Bella, it is no Bella, Edward." Jasper told his brother using his gift to calm his brother. "You could never ever hurt Bella, so do not worry about it right now." I told him.

I asked Jasper and Emmett to get rid of the body while the rest of us went home; it was imperative that we stay conspicuous and standing around in the forest at night was not the best way to achieve this goal. Edward ran ahead of us and I let him, running always made him feel better, let him think more clearly. Once we hit the river bank Edward jumped over and ran straight into his mother's arms to seek comfort.

"Mom...I...I"

"It was only an accident my son." Esme said stoking her sons hair as he buried his face in her neck and shoulder. Esme squeezed him tighter.

I silently thought to myself "maybe this isn't going to be so bad after all, maybe we can get through this rather quickly and with no more pain then ripping off a band-aid." I was quickly brought back to reality when I heard Edward hissing furious with his sister; breaking out of his mother's embrace as gently as possible-he did not want to hurt his mother.

"NO! Just...leave me alone...please. I need to think." He cried darting up the stairs to his room and slammed the door shut.

This was going to be a disaster.

Emmett and Jasper were home with no one none the wiser.

"We have to figure out what to tell Bella; if she finds out it could be catastrophic both her and Edward; not to mention the rest of the family. Bella will not understand how much danger she could truly be in. We know as soon as she does find out she will come here and only make things much, much worse." Jasper said.

I hissed furious.

"Do not ever talk like that in my house again!" Everyone was looking at me like I had lost my mind. "Bella is a part of this family and she should not have to be placed in the dark; it is not fair or right. We will deal with this one step at a time. I refuse to gain any mistrust from her again, I refuse to hurt her more than we all ready have. Bella will not be left in the dark; and for having her be a danger is far from the truth! You needed Alice and she needed you. We can keep it from turning out badly." I announced more calmly.

"My apologies Carlisle, I meant no harm." Jasper whispered.

"I know, and I am sorry for hissing at you; but we can not just think of Edward any more. You are right about one thing though; Bella will not understand, but that does not mean she can't try to understand. We underestimate her far too much, she is not like other humans; she sees so much more than she should and understands just as much, when it comes to our world." I explained.

"Well we need to think of something and fast, Bella is expecting Edward by eleven at the latest and it's almost ten now." Rosalie offered, speaking for the first time.

We could come up with nothing and every so often we would hear a hiss or growl or groan come from Edward; none of us could come up with anything until I thought of something. I quickly passed it out of my thoughts for the moment until I spoke to Alice.

"Alice."

"Well let's go for a walk then!" She squealed happily; I just laughed.

We took off towards Seattle walking at human pace then picked up into a jog, once we were half way to Seattle I had to ask Alice for my favor.

"Alice I need you to so something for me; a promise. I need you to block your thoughts from Edward until I return home. I will not be very long, but I need you to promise me. And also promise me not to look into the future. I think I found a way to help Edward, but I need your promise first...please Alice." I begged.

"Carlisle...I..."

"Please Alice!" I begged her again.

"All right, I promise."

"Thank you Alice, you need not feel guilty about this my child. I will tell them I got a call from the hospital; that there was a bad car accident and I am needed for emergency surgery." I said. "Will they take the bait Alice?" I asked desperately.

"Yes, they will."

I hugged her tightly for a moment then took off running to follow though with my lie. Alice trailed behind me preparing herself.

Once at the river bank I jumped early and landed perfectly; I darted into the house and told everyone of my phone call and the urgency behind it.

I threw myself into my car and made sure I was cautious with my thoughts until I was half way to Bella's house. It was ten after ten and Bella would be expecting Edward soon.

Slowing to a reasonable speed limit I turned onto Bella's street and then made sure I was fully presentable before getting out of the car. Looking perfect I walked up to the door and a very tired Charlie answered the door; surprise flitted across his face when he saw me and hurried to answer the door.

"OH, Dr. Cullen, please come in." Charlie offered stepping to the side to let me through.

"Thank you Chief Swan, I am so sorry for just showing up but I..."

I heard Bella's heart beat pick up in fear as she neared the front room, when our eyes met; Bella's were screaming anxious and fear.

"Carlisle?"

"Good evening Bella." I said politely.

"Hi...is everything all right?" She asked anxiously, her face was twisting in panic and fear, but I needed her to understand before she lost all control. "Is Edward all right?" She practically begged me.

"Bella, Edward...slipped."

"Oh my god! Is he all right! Take me to him Carlisle please!" Bella begged me, her face was a mask of pure horror and pain.

"Wait, what do you mean Edward slipped?" Charlie asked frustrated for being out of the loop. Charlie knew there was another meaning behind my words, but quickly dismissed it.

"Edward was some place he was not supposed to be; like in a tree and slipped. He's been crying out for Bella for an hour now. He won't stop screaming for you. I am sorry for just showing up Charlie but would it be possible to take Bella away to me house...maybe even for the night?" I asked desperately for my son.

"Yes, of course; I hope he will be all right. Bella you can stay as long as you need to." Thankfully he agreed, not knowing I was putting his daughter in grave danger. "I know what it is like to see you child in agonizing pain-even though Edward was the one to cause my child that pain-I would not wish it on another parent's child." He said in utter sincerity to my pain that was evident in my eyes. I was in pain for my son.

"I will meet Bella in my car and thank you again Chief Swan. It means a lot to me, and to my son." I said quickly turning to my car. I opened the passenger side door before I got in the drivers side. Bella was quick to follow. The second her door was closed I started to drive; waiting until we hit the highway before I took off speeding.

What happened? How did this happen Carlisle. He is always so careful of where he hunts." Bella demanded.

"There was an injured hiker alone...when he was hunting he was in that state of mind, he was over come instantly." I explained. "Not even I could have stopped Bella. He is so upset with himself right now; hes self loathing himself in his room right now. He won't talk to anyone or come out of his room. I thought that maybe you would be able to talk him out of his room or his mood at the least. Please do not feel obligated to do so Bella, this is highly dangerous...you are his singer and he could loose control at any moment and attack you."

"Please...I have faced death more than a few times Carlisle and made it though alive. I am not afraid of Edward. I do understand that he will be a little different...his...eye color and his mood." Bella scoffed.

"His mood? You mean you understand that..." I stuttered; yes it was true. We underestimated Bella a whole lot more than she deserves.

"Its the blood talking...yes." Bella stated. "I will do what I can, but I know Edward loves me and I know he doesn't have it in him to hurt me, no matter what. I will bring him through this Carlisle, no matter what it takes." She promised.

We raced towards my son with great speed but it just never seemed like I was going fast enough. Edward...were coming.


	7. Auther's Note

** HEY!**

**I HOPE YOU HAVE ALL BEEN ENJOYING MY STORY SO FAR. I JUST WANTED TO THANK ALL OF MY READERS FOR SUPPORTING ME THOUGH THIS STORY AND ALL OF MY OTHERS. IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA OR REQUEST FOR THIS STORY OR ANY OTHER I MAY HAVE ON-GOING DO NOT HESITATE TO PM ME. I WILL TRY AND USE ALL BUT PLEASE DO NOT FEEL PUT OUT IF I DO NOT. I COULD ALWAYS USE IT FOR ANOTHER STORY.**

**I HOPE THAT ALL OF MY CHARACTER POVS HAVE BEEN ALL RIGHT; I HAVE NOT DONE MULTIPLE POVS BEFORE SO MY APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE.**

**THANKS AGAIN FOR READING!**

**LouLouCullen :)  
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	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Edward's Point Of View

I am truly a monster; I have done nothing but stand here in my room looking out into forest while Bella-my Bella-sits out side my door. Bella has been sitting there for almost a week now and I have done nothing but hurt her. I growled at her, put my hands on her and yelled at her like she was nothing but an unwanted bar maid or a stray dog begging for scraps of food at the back door of a local restaurant.

_"How was she ever going to forgive me?"_ I thought to myself. _"What am I going to do? How was I going to face her and look her in the eyes when I could barley stand my own reflection? Or worse yet; how was I going to look her in the eyes when I have done nothing but hurt her. To see the hurt and desolation on her face will hurt me so much more than if I had given in to my cowardice and ran away for a few weeks."_ I rolled my eyes at that thought. I already knew the answer-Bella, Esme and Alice.

It would kill Bella if I left her again, it would hurt Esme so deeply if I left and Alice would never forgive me if I left and hurt both my soon to be wife and mother. It was bad enough I had to barricade the door from Bella getting in again; Bella kicked and screamed and punched my bedroom door for hours yesterday and I silently destroyed a few metal pieces from the bed frame, a few books and many other things. It felt like someone was burning me alive and dunking me in a huge vat of acid, I was hurting Bella so much-what was wrong with me?

_"Edward! Your destroying Bella, now come out of your room and explain to her! You will loose her Edward, she will think you don't want her anymore._" Alice screeched at me in her thoughts after her and Jasper and Emmett had been hunting. I didn't really believe her, I knew Alice would start saying anything to get me out of my room.

_"Edward...what are you doing! You are hurting my little sister so much...did you not hear her screaming in her sleep out side your door! She thinks you are going to leave her again; shut her out! Well you are succeeding." _Emmett's thoughts had a vicious edge to them, he was threatening me. _"I will give you one more day then I will break down your door and drag you out kicking and screaming and if you **try** to run or **try** to leave before hand I **will** tell Bella and Esme you have left them!" _

Damn it! What was I going to do now! I had less than twenty four hours to get myself under control so I could face Bella; that brought on another slew of questions that flew through my mind.

_'Would Bella see the monster in my eyes? Would I frighten her? Would Bella finally see me for the killer that I am and run away or tell me to keep away? Would I attack her if I inhaled to deeply?"_ All of these questions and no answers; I hissed in frustration. _"Why could I just not read Bella's mind all ready!"_ I screamed in my head. _"What was she thinking-knowing Bella she would try and find a way to blame herself and make it her fault-Oh the humanity!"_ I screamed inwardly at myself _"Humanity; a simple word with a simple meaning-but too me it was much more complicated-could anything that I had mastered over the last century mean or be anything close to 'humanity'?_

It was in these last twenty four hours; I could feel my body going through it's natural changes, it was like a human purging there body of toxins or drugs. My body was craving human blood but my centuries of careful hunting of animal blood was almost engrained into me-like Bella's heart beat or scent-almost but not quite. I decided to go hunting now rather than later and have something happen to Bella.

_"Alice, meet me out side my window, I want to go hunting before I come out of my room and face Bella. Do not tell her anything!"_ I saw flash though my mind_; _Alice had been searching my future every few minutes these last past few days, but I was so far gone in my thoughts I did not register half of them_._

I could smell Bella's heavenly scent outside my door mixed with her salty tears; she was crying in her sleep again. It killed my already dead black frozen heart; it broke my heart to do this to her-but she did not understand how necessary it was for me to do this; to lock myself up away from her mouthwatering scent. I knew I would have to explain to Bella that-yes- I was cured of her blood completely; it was completely different for me when I was intoxicated with human blood_. _I had to make her understand why I had to hurt her. I didn't want to hurt her; it was against my very nature to hurt her the way I was but then again; it was against my very nature to drink animal blood and ignore human blood.

I heard Bella whimper out my name in her sleep and beg me to stay with her and not shut her out. "Please...Edward...don't...leave...don't...shut me out." Bella begged me. "I...love...you." She mumbled out before going silent. I moved the dresser from the door and opened it just a crack to peek at my perfect angel; curled up on the floor her tiny heart shaped face streaked with dry tears.

"I love you to my Bella; my angel." I whispered to her so softly she would probably never register it in her sleep. Her body jerked slightly and she whimpered out my name once again. "I will come for you soon my love; please forgive me my Bella; it tortures me so to hurt you the way I have. Please understand Bella." I whispered to her a little louder than the first; her body relaxed a little and small smile formed on her lips. I warmed my dead heart for only a second; for I had to shut her out one more time in order to hunt_._

_"We have all decided to go; don;t worry Bella will sleep for a few more hours, so we are all good, on that forefront. Now let's get you some animal blood!" _Alice though excitedly.

Everyone's thoughts were excited, Esme's thoughts were the most excited and happy.

_"Finally! I was getting so worried Edward, how are you feeling?"_ Esme asked me running towards me; she threw herself into my arms and hugged tightly.

"I'm fine now mom, I am sorry for making you worry and hurting you so deeply." I apologized hanging my head in shame.

"I am so happy you feel better." She started then her features rearranged into anger and fury. Esme slapped me upside the head and hard; everyone was so shocked. Esme has never raised a hand to any of us...ever. No matter what we had done. "How could you do this to Bella! The poor girl has been in utter turmoil; have you not heard her begging for you to talk to her even thought the door! Or scream and cry in her sleep_. _The poor girl has been sitting outside your door for days and you could not even talk to her once. Bella has never asked you for anything...ever! She never asks anyone for anything and here you would not even talk to her! Edward Anthony Masen Cullen I am so very dissapointed in you_." _She shouted at me when we were far enough out in the woods that Bella would never be able to hear.

"I know mom and I am sorry..."

"It is not me you need to be asking for forgiveness, Edward. I do not care how hard you think it is for yourself; it has been twice as hard for Bella. She has not been eating or sleeping; she has not moved from that spot for almost a week! And she doesn't even understand _why_!" Esme growled._ "_ Now go and hunt and get your ass back to that house and help her understand...understood?"

"Yes mom, I understand." I said fighting the dry sobs that threatened to escape me.

"And do not even _think_ of buying for way out of this Edward Cullen; Bella can not be bought and I do not understand how you can understand that!" Esme added then took off deeper into the forest with Carlisle trailing behind her.

_"You heard your mother Edward, do not disappoint her further."_ Carlisle thought sharply.

My siblings had not stayed to witness my tongue lashing from my mother; but silently added there own mental threats.

Emmett's was the worst by far. _If you ever and mean _ever_ hurt my baby sister like that again, I will break you for her and I promise to make it as painful as possible!" _

Alice had all ready scolded and threatened me half a million times while I was in my room blocking out the world. Jasper was also promising me pain-emotional pain.

_"I will not stand for that again Edward, _you_ are supposed to be the one to wake Bella from her nightmares and kiss away her tears and reassure her a million times over that it was just a dream; but feeling her pain; cradling her in my arms as she cried out in pain; never again Edward."_

I honestly did not know how to fix this one and no one was going to be as forgiving as Bella and that killed me twice as badly; as not being there for her or talking to her or the very worst, putting my hands on her. I have never in all of my existence _ever_ put my hands on a woman in that manner_._ And if that was not enough, she iht her head and blacked out.

I Edward Cullen am truly a monster.

I had broken off from the rest to try and track down a mountain lion-and the other reason I was not wanting to admit even to myself- be alone for a while. I sniffed the air for a good five minutes; there was no mountain lion in range for miles it seemed. _"Just my luck"_ I thought to myself. I started to head back a few miles when a small heard of Elk were forming in a tiny little clearing; the others must have drove them this way._ Too _thirsty to care about anything else I lowered myself into my hunting crouch and attacked a fairly large male Elk; the blood was all wrong, but I didn't care, I was too thirsty to care. I had not even realized I was this thirsty-more than likely because I was trying not to think of Bella sitting outside my bedroom door.

Bella's blood hot and wet and so sweet_; _I could almost smell her scent in the air; all I had to do was sneak off and take her some place far from the house-no one would catch me-I was too fast for anyone to catch me. I could take her to our meadow; Bella would trust me without thinking twice about it; it was so perfect_. _Before I could even think about taking that simple little step in Bella's direction; Alice, Emmett and Jasper were standing in my way, Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie had come behind me-to trap me-I was not going to put up a fight.

"Do you really think we would let you get away with killing Bella?" Rosalie spat from behind me. "Your sick Edward!"

"Forgive me if the monster in me is only..." my enraged filled words were cut off by a heavy punch to the gut. Emmett was warning me and punishing me.

"I warned you brother! You will not hurt my little sister again, if I have to rip you limb from limb so you can be around her then I will; Bella deserves better than this...and you know it!" He growled at me; the rest of my family agreed silently.

Just then Alice had a vision; the most horrific vision she had ever had.

_Bella had woken to find us all gone, she thought we had left her behind again. Bella was going to kill herself and rid the the world of what she thought it did not want-herself. The words rang in my head just as if she were speaking them for the first time as was the last time. "You...don't...want...me?" The blade she held slit her wrist deeply and Bella's crimson blood spilled over in our meadow. Bella cried silently but her pain was far from silent.  
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"How did she get there so fast!" Alice screeched. "We have to go now, Edward you are her only chance...go!" Alice screamed at me.

I took off like a rocket trying to race towards the one last shred of hope I held onto every day. I may not have killed her-physically-but I did kill her emotionally and spiritually_. _

I silently prayed that I was going to make it in time to save my one and only love. My one and only angel. My heat and soul, my very essence. My world. My Bella._  
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	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Alice's Point Of View

I was hunting with my family after Edward _finally_ decided to get his act together and go hunting and come out of his room, I understood why he did do it and I understand why he would cut himself off from the world; but cutting himself away from _**his**_ world-his Bella-was beyond me. I never had a vision of him hurting her or killing her. All I saw was forgiveness and love and finally understanding.

That's all Bella wanted was to understand; understand his pain and anguish. Out of us all, Bella was not in any way shape or form to grasp the pain and anguish a vampire felt for taking a human's life-even accidentally-no one understood those feelings better than Jasper. Jasper ached to explain to Bella what was going on; she felt shut out and alone in the dark.

We all heard over heard Jasper and Bella talking in the hall the other night and it killed each and everyone us. Esme, Carlsile, Emmett and I were the worst ones to feel this pain; along with Edward.

"Why Jasper?" Bella whispered pleadingly, sadly.

"Why what honey?" Jasper whispered back. I was so very proud of Jasper-we all were-he had been spending a lot of time alone with Bella in the hall; especially at night when the nightmares threatened to pull Bella under. Bella would scream bloody murder in her sleep almost every night, begging Edward to not leave her and not shut her out.

"Why will no one explain to me; I don't understand. I want to...try...to understand. Can you please explain to me what is going on...what I need to do for him."

"Every person is different Bella, I can not explain to you; I wish I could, but I can't. I am so sorry Bella; it hurts me to see you in so much pain." Jasper explained wiping away Bella's tears with his finger tips.

Then the unexpected happened.

"Bella do not dare try and change your feelings for me." Jasper plead. Jasper was stunned; Bella was willing to push away her own pain and suffering for his because it caused him pain.

"But you hurt...I don't want you to hurt because of me..."

"No Bella" Jasper cut her off trying to explain again "You can not change what you feel just for me; it's not right honey."

"But if...you don't hurt then...maybe Edward and the rest of you won't hurt and everyone can be happy again."

"It doesn't work that way Bella, I wish it did. Sleep now Bella."

Everyone in the house felt a wave of calm lethargy wash over us; Bella was deeply asleep in a matter of minutes.

"You know you don't deserve her right? You know that no one could possibly be this selfless and still manage to stand tall and strong. Bella will break." Jasper whispered angrily at Edward as he laid Bella down on the floor, covering her up with her blankets.

"I know I don't deserve her; I never have and I never will; but by some miracle...she loves me. It plagues me night after night after night; how the beautiful and fragile human creature in your arms could ever love a monster like me. That is why I tried to leave her, to give her what she does deserve; a human life with a human family and children, a marriage, schooling and a career. I would leave right this very second to give her all of that...if...it would not kill her so deeply and end her life. I do not wish to change her; but I will not go against her wishes any more. It nearly killed us both and I rather strip away her soul than be her murder in cold blood and live with myself knowing I had the power to leave her or change her. Watch by idly; watch her die in my arms is more than any pain you could imagine. Why do you think I have not opened the door; I am terrified of hurting her in _that_ way than any other. I would rather burn alive then see her suffer."

"I will not try to understand your pain for leaving her or what it felt like when you thought you lost her; but think of the pain she is in now and you are only on the other side of a door, in another room. She doesn't understand Edward; she is starting to feel like maybe you don't want her after all. As she once out it to Alice...all she is...us human and nothing more." Jasper taunted though the door.

A menacing low growl came from the other side of the door. "Bella is not _just_ human! Bella is everything a human being should be; kind, caring, compassionate, intelligent, loving, trusting, and so, so, so much more. I am not blind Jasper...just a little lost at the moment."

The house went quiet after that; except for Bella's beating heart and steady calm breathing. Jasper kept close to Bella as she slept; he sat in the stairwell, away from her scent but close enough where his gift would be strong and not have to be too close to her.

Coming back to the present state of mind...LOL! *I know I can't believe I just laughed out loud myself either*

Edward was getting an metaphorical ass kicking from Esme as the rest of us hunted "Good he deserves it!" Was all I thought.

I ignored everyone else and started to hunt, I was thirsty, even though I had hunted a little while ago. Better safe than sorry I always say! With everyone else scattered about feeding on there prey I decided to go a little farther when I caught a small vision.

Start of Alice's vision

_Edward had slipped by all of us and went to take Bella to there meadow. He was so set on taking Bella there to feed on her. Edward was going to drain Bella's body dry; I could see his eyes, bright crimson red and Bella's broken body in his hands, howling in pain. the lighter in his pocket would burn them both, Bella would feel nothing but Edward would burn alive._

End of Alice's vision

"No!" I choked out and ran back to the others "We have to stop Edward...he...Bella...don't make me finish my sentence...please!" I begged them as the all stared at me on horror. "Jasper and Emmett come with me the rest of you catch him from behind!" I whispered and we all took off.

Thankfully Edward was wavering his thoughts again so his future was going back to normal and was going to only_ talk_ to Bella and _not_ kill her-thank god!

Emmett and Jasper threatened Edward enough and Emmett got Edward good with a hard punch in the gut. And my next vision started.

Start of Alice's Vision

_Bella was in her and Edward's meadow-_how did she get there so fast-_crying into the ground asking why we had left her-_Bella had woken to find us gone-_Bella had gone to there meadow to die. The razor blade she had in her hand glinted in the one little ray of sunshine the clouds decided not to hide and slit her wrist too deeply. Bella was going to die. I watched as my vision faded and started to go black and shimmer away. _

_End of Alice's Vision_

"What! How did she get there so fast?" I asked no one. "Go Edward...you are the only one fast enough to save her...now go!" I commanded him; Edward shot through the forest towards his dying Bella, it was Italy all over again just the people were mixed up and potentially more dangerous of the out come-seeming one of them needed blood to live and the other would just starve for eternity.

"What Alice! Tell me what you saw!" Jasper asked running beside me; we were all running and no one knew why.

"What I tell you, you have to promise me that you will not stop running; I know how some of you react and this is not the time!" I trilled; they all nodded in response, so I continued. "Bella woke while we were gone to find the house empty." I heard multiple gasps from around me and Emmett start to run faster. "Bella went to there meadow to die; she slit her wrist, she thinks we left her...again. Carlisle you have to grab your bag along the way, but hurry she doesn't have much time left!" I shouted.

"Oh my god! We never should have all gone hunting and assumed she would have known!" Carlisle said holding Esme's hand in comfort as she sobbed.

"Bella won't die! Edward would never let that happen!" Emmett spat and tried to run even faster.

We all ran towards the one thing-Bella- that tied our family together after decades of not knowing she was missing from our lives; Bella completed each and every one of us in different way and completed this family in ways that would never be known to her.

A daughter to some, a sister to others, a soul mate and last but not least a best friend.

We are coming for you dear sister, we love you.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Bella's Point Of View

I tossed and turned on the hard floor; my back and neck ached from being so stiff from laying on the hard wood floors for almost a week. I stretched and groaned loudly, half expecting Alice or Esme to be there when I finally did open my eyes. I smiled at myself and sighed a little content. I opened eyes to find the hallway and the stair case empty.

_"That is odd" _I thought to myself. _"No one has left me alone since I have been here. Maybe Edward is finally out of his room and didn't want to wake me_!" I thought foolishly.

If Edward was out of his room, he would not just let me lay on the floor, he would have moved me to the bed at least or cradled me while I slept. He would not leave me here on the floor...would he? I could feel my heart hammering in my chest...why? It made no sense, Edward was not dangerous to me at all. So why was my body trying to tell me different? It made no sense to me. I sucked in a deep breath thought my nose and let it out slowly through my mouth; I picked myself up off the floor and knocked on Edward's door.

When my knuckles came in contact with the door it opened slightly and my heart soared in my chest; I actually broke down in tears of happiness. He was finally letting me in. I pushed the door open and ran into the room, expecting him to be standing in the same spot; but he was not in his room. My hope and happiness plumited to the soles of my feet in less then a second.

"NO!" I shouted. "Edward...Where are you?" I yelled though my tears of despair. I ran into Alice and Jasper's room; it was empty. "Edward! Alice! Jasper! Esme! Carlisle! Emmett! Rosalie!" I shouted desperately; no one was answering me. I searched the whole house and nothing.

"Gone...they all are gone!" I cried "Why did they leave me! Why! What did I do this time!"

There was only one thing I could think to do. Because there was only one thing that I could do to ease the pain that unleashed itself from my chest; the pain was ten fold and I thought for sure Edward had come from behind me to rip out my beating heart where I stood. I had to look down to make sure I was still in one piece. Again physically I was fine but hope-I had once foolishly given into hope and look where it got me-hope was here to finish off the job it started so many months ago.

The pain crippled me to the floor and I screamed once in a pain so great I thought for sure my heart was being torn apart with every beat. With nothing but my will power to get out of the house I ran out of the house grabbing the spare set of keys to the Volvo and drove towards the meadow. I had no idea why I was headed there; I should be driving the other direction, I should have kept driving and found a different life some place else; but life was not something I planed on living much longer.

_"Bella are you crazy! You plan on killing yourself! What about Charlie and Jake and Renee?"_ I screamed in my head; it was only now the self-preservation button was flicked on. _"Why are all of my reactions backwards! I should not care about living with out my true love gone; he left me again, he broke his promise and took everyone with them again. I hated him so much; every scrap of love I had ever felt for him as dissipated into nothing._" I thought trying to control my breathing; my lungs were detached again and my left arm was around my torso again, squeezing around my rib cage so tightly I thought I would shatter my own ribs.

It took me only a few minutes to reach the trail that was opposite to _our_ meadow; the thought burned like acid in my head and I almost lost control of all my body function, I slumped over on my side; the gear shift was digging into my ribs but that pain was easy to ignore, I lay across the width of the car in agony, trying to get my lungs to work properly; my attention was caught by something shiny on the floor of the car. My razor for my legs, it must have fallen out of my bag and I had not noticed. I left it on the floor and left the car door open dying for an escape into the confines of the forest. I looked back once then continued deeper into the forest; I had become a lot better at hiking so it took me half the time it usually did and it helped I did know the way; it was not a search and trial hike this time.

The ache in my chest flared and breathing became harder and harder, but I pushed on until I got to the little creek; I sat on a fallen log and tried to catch my breath. Breathing was easy when you were human, it was the most basic need to a human; we didn't have to think to breathe it was just something our minds and bodies instinctively knew how to do.

So why could I barely breathe now when my mind was not reminding myself to breathe. I had no answer for that so I just kept moving forward.

The clouds were no where in sight when I stepped into the meadow; brilliant sun light filled the perfectly circular meadow, a light breeze blew thought the open space and the smell of wild flowers assaulted my nose and sent my mind spiraling into old memories, happy memories, memories I wished did not have so much power over me. I literally crawled into the middle of the beautiful meadow and let the pain pull me under.

It was twice as bad as before; it felt like someone had lit me on fire and left me to burn alone in one the happiest places in my life. My fingers dug into the earth as my body twitched and writhed in pain; the sunlight blinded me and the breeze stung my eyes. I screamed like I had so long ago; in my once forgotten nightmares or when I finally realized that _he_ was never coming back for me. My tears burned as they leaked from my eyes. My skin was flush for screaming and crying; the salt in my tears burned my face. I thought for sure they would have burned steady track marks in my skin from all of the tears I have cried over the last two years; I had to blink quite a few times to try and clear out the tears that blurred my vision; It was painful. Everything was painful; breathing was painful, my beating heart was aching with every beat, my rib cage felt like it was bruised from holding it so tightly, every part of my body was hurting, throbbing and aching.

I must have been dying because I heard voices calling my name from some place far away; I couldn't hear what they were saying over my screams of agony; but I managed to catch some of what was said.

"Bella!" The angel cried. "Calm down please! Your Edward is here. I am here my love." The angel said to me. "I don't know, she's not injured, just screaming! Help her please!"

"Please just end my pain! Please just kill me now!" I screamed. "He left me, he killed me! Please kill me...please! Please end my life. I do not want to live without him anymore...please...kill me!" I cried thrashing around in cold arms.

Calm and peace hit my body like a wrecking ball and all of my pain stopped in that same instant. "Thank You for ending my pain; tell him I loved him, tell them all I loved them." I whispered before I closed my eyes. "Tell Rosalie I forgive her and that I love her like a sister. Tell Jasper I don't hold him responsible. Tell my best friend...my sister...I love her. Tell Emmett he was the best big brother a sister could ever have. And finally tell my second mother Esme she did a wonderful job of taking care of me and my second father, I loved him so." Blackness washed over me and pulled under.

I had finally died in peace.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Edward's Point Of View

I was running towards my wounded angel as fast as my legs would carry me, with as much force as I could force out of my body; it was going to be so close.

Dry sobs racked though my body; my whole body was shaking in fear and pain and guilt; if I failed my angel now, everything we had survived these last few months would die in vain. I was so selfish and foolish and stupid. I was stupid to think that leaving Bella in the house with no one home; that she would have understood, she couldn't understand, because I never got the chance to explain to her.

_"What ever happened to 'Bella always comes first' did you misunderstand you complete idiot! Now she is dying in your meadow because you selfishly shut your soul mate out because you were struggling. Bella tried to help you and you just slapped her in the face and walked away; some gentleman you are!"_ My thoughts screamed at me.

I was close now; I could smell Bella's sweet scent and it held absolutely no allure for me-yes it was sweet and I wanted it-but the monster in me had been silenced again; he was no where to be found. It would be exactly like Alice's vision; just after I saved Bella from getting hit by Tyler Crowley's van in the school parking lot. My siblings and I had our worst fight yet; the day I realized I loved my Bella. The day the monster in me was silenced for what I thought was forever.

I saw the Volvo parked with the driver side door open; I ran past it. I could hear Bella screaming and screeching in agony; I could also here the others coming up behind me.

_"Edward...stop! Just wait for us please. Let us help you."_ Carlisle thoughts were a mix of authority and a gentle concern.

"Stop! Are you insane, can you not hear her screaming!" I shouted slowing my pace-unwillingly-Carlsile was right and if I had any self respect left I would listen to him.

The rest of my family caught up to me quickly and we ran together; I could hear Bella's rapid heart beat, it was beating dangerously fast. Too much for my liking or Carlisle's. Bella's screams were cries of pure pain-it was like someone was torturing her alive.

Out of no where Jasper cried out in agony and fell to his knees.

"Jasper! Alice cried out running to his side. Jasper was gripping his chest and gasping for air.

"Bella...so much pain! She's in pure agonizing pain!" Jasper gasped out; still clutching at his chest. Jasper willed himself up on his feet and we all took off running again.

I broke through the trees first into the sun lit meadow to find my Bella lying on the ground writhing in pain as if someone had lit her on fire; the others came only seconds after I did.

"Is she bleeding?" Carlisle asked quickly.

"No, just screaming...please help her!" I begged falling to my knees; I took Bella in my arms. It had no effect. Bella was still writhing in pain.

"The poor girl." Esme sobbed standing a few feet away.

I tried to calm her, I tried to call out to her and tell her that I was here for her-that I had not left her-that I was not going to leave.

"Please Bella calm down!' I begged as I sobbed un-shed-able tears "I am here Bella, your Edward is here." I promise her again and again; and still nothing.

Carlisle was going to give Bella something to help her sleep and calm down; her heart beat was so rapid it could very well have exploded in her chest.

"Hold her still Edward!" Carlisle commanded.

"I'm trying, I do not want to hurt her by restraining her."

Jasper?" Alice whispered.

Jasper was again on the ground clutching at his chest trying desperately trying to gasp for air. Alice held his curled body in her little arms as best she could.

"She should be dead...how is she still alive?" He asked no one. "No human should survive this pain."

"Help her Jazzy...please for me!" Alice cried "Please Jazzy."

Jasper used all of his willl to get to his feet and lean over Bella's writhing body and gripped her out of my arms; I made no move to stop him.

_"She should be dead...no human should survive this pain"_ Jasper's words clawed at my mind and shattered my heart into millions of tiny pieces-each piece was a piece of Bella and all the hurt and pain I have ever caused her-shattered yet still whole and un beating. It made me think of how much pain Bella's beating heart was in; I could hear her blood pulsing though her veins at the speed of light and her screams and shrieks of pain made me want to cover my ears and cringe away.

"Why is it not working?" I asked. No answer.

Then if it was not enough to shatter my heart from all of the pain I had caused my Bella; she cried out for death.

"Please some one kill me, please end my pain!" Bella screamed. "He left me, he killed me!"

I howled in agony.

"Please end my pain and suffering. I can not live without him. Please just kill me now!"

"Her mind is going to snap! Edward...we maybe to late this time. I am so sorry. Bella thinks she is dying in pain; she doesn't know we are trying to help her." Carlisle said to me in his thoughts; to spare the others until we knew for sure what we-**No! what I done to her**-again.

While lost in my thoughts Bella's writhing calmed; Carlisle was finally able to giver her the medicine she needed so badly; Bella's heart beat started to calm and her screaming stopped but her pleading did not end. Jasper also worked with Carlsile and used an almost deadly force of calm and peace to help calm her.

"Thank you for ending my pain." Bella mumbled; her eye lids started to droop and close.

"She thinks..." Carlsile choked out "she thinks we killed her?" It was a question and an answer wrapped into one.

"NO! How could she think that!" Rosalie cried out.

Esme kneeled down beside Carlsile and rubbed his back soothingly. "We don't know that, for sure." Esme offered trying to comfort Carlisle, herself and the rest of us.

_"I am going to rip you to pieces...you selfish bastard! If Bella didn't love you so much I would light you on fire and let you watch the pieces burn."_ Rosalie was beyond livid with me; she was murderous towards me.

Emmett was no better. "If I ever catch you...you will be so sorry you ever existed."

_"How could you Edward! All you had to do was talk to her! All you had to do was talk to her thought the door!"_ Esme thought sobbing in Carlisle's arms.

"He's gone...they left me...promises mean nothing...why...why? Bella started to mumble in her sleep. "Why...do...you...not...want...me?" She asked. "Why...do...you...not...love...me?"

"Run Edward, run for your existence!" Rosalie threatened crouching down.

A cry of pain came of Bella's lips while she slept and steady tears began to flow her cheeks.

"Jasper, give her to Edward; let's go home so we can discuss this and let Bella get some rest. If I am correct...Bella will be very...disoriented when she wakes." Carlisle said out loud; but in his head the thoughts were so dissaponited and the disappointment was so much worse than his anger.

_"Never have I been more dissaponited in you Edward; what have you done to her? You will fix this and give Bella what ever she wants or desires! Even if it means us leaving again. Bella has never asked anything from you; from any of us. We forced her into her birthday party and looked how that turned out; and now you force into darkness and cause her so much pain she was begging for death!"_

I shuddered once before picking Bella up in my arms. Bella felt heavier than normal even as she slept.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Bella's Point Of View

Dream Version

This could not be heaven it was too painful for that; memories flooded my mind; mocked and tortured me.

What had I ever done to deserve this?

Running towards _our_ meadow in the pitch black of night; noises and voices called out and played with my mind. I was too afraid to scream or cry out for help-or maybe it was because I knew no one would come for me-I was alone and very, very frightened.

Every so often I tripped and stumbled to the ground getting my clothes dirty; my skin had been scratched and torn with each fall, and I distinctly remember crying out Edward's name followed by 'He's gone.' I tried to find a clearing or a house or car or street; but there was nothing but the forest I was running circles in. I didn't exactly pay attention to where I was going; just that I knew I had to get where I was going.

Every so often I would hear what sounded like Edward's voice or Carlisle's or Alice or Jasper's.

"Bella...Bella...come home Bella. We are waiting for you to come home Bella." Alice's voice purred soft, velvet and deadly.

Or worse then Alice's voice; Carlisle's voice.

"Maybe she doesn't want to come home...maybe we should shut her out. Nothing but a human of course." Carlisle insulted me laughing like a mad man.

Jasper's voice was next.

"Maybe we should leave her alone...she does not need us here. Or at all." Jasper's voice snarled in fury in my head.

Then lastly Edward's soft, sweet and perfectly sure voice whispered to me in the darkness as I ran to try and find him.

"Run Bella...run Bella...you will never catch us Bella." He laughed darkly "Run from the monsters Bella-not towards them-they are gonna catch you Bella. You must run faster then that my love."

The words of my family caught up to me as I ran as fast as my legs would take me and choked me. I skidded to a stop and tried to fight off the cruel words of the ones I loved and failed. Desperation and fear choked me; instinct and adrenaline kicked in and a blade appeared in my hands. The glint off the stainless steel taunted and teased me as I fought the irrational urge to use it on my own body and not on my invisible in the darkness enemies; my family.

In an attempt to try and save myself I swatted the empty air around me; the blade caught on nothing but air and darkness.

I was truly useless and pathetic...even for a human.

"What's the matter little sister...can you not catch the big bad monsters. We are coming Bella...we can smell you now!" Emmett's voice snapped at me like he was vexed.

"Why...why do you want to hurt me?" I begged them breathless while I ran from nothing and everything at the same time. "Why did you leave me...why?"

All seven voices laughed at me like it was dangerously obvious; like I was missing the big picture, but I could see nothing but darkness.

"A scent so sweet...A lust so deep, it must run forever...a river of red drowns you when you sleep...beat...beat...beat...her heart must go to the beat." A voice I did not regonize called out to me. I hated riddles and now running and screaming from monsters of the night I was supposed to figure this out!

_"Are you kidding me?"_ I screamed in my head. _Can some one please...just explain to me...what I must do!" _

A flash of light blinded and stunned me for only a moment; a swirl of past memories flashed in front of me like a movie.

_"You really should stay away from me...I am dangerous."_ The familiar voice said. _"It's better this way really, we really should not be friends."_

What in the hell was going on!

_"Aw! This is wrong Bella...I am dangerous please grasp that!"_ The velvet voice begged me again to listen to him.

It clicked for me right there; this was the point of my past, where Edward was trying to get me to see him as a monster-as a vampire-and I was so blinded by love I did not see it. Now that he did not love me; I could see him for the monster he truly was.

The monster that thirsted for my blood. He was the predator and I was the prey. My blood so much sweeter to him than any other-the blood lust.

Was that what the voice was trying to tell me? I was loved only for my blood-I was his blood lust-he was just waiting for an excuse. He was waiting for everyone to leave to kill me. He wanted me all to himself and I let the' _**lie**_' reel me in and dangle me like a worm on a hook.

Right then and there I realized I was in the most danger I had ever been in; in my entire life.

The person I loved and trusted; the family I loved and trusted...was nothing but a lie!

My eye lids flew open and I stared into the golden eyes of seven very watchful vampires.

_"As if you could out run me."_ His voice whispered in my ear _"As if you could fight me off."_ His voice reminded me _"Everything about me invites you in...as if I need any of that."_ Edward's whispered voice laughed bitterly in my ear.

I screamed once in horror and saw the arch angel's face fall into despair and agony; he understood_._

And so did I._  
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	13. Chapter 13

**The writing in bold is bella's preservation side in her battling thoughts**

_The Italics side is her love for her family and Edward in her battling thoughts_

Chapter 13

Edward's Point Of View

We were all very anxious for Bella to wake; she was-thankfully-sleeping soundly. I was hoping that it meant 'nightmare free, but I had no way of knowing and it was driving me to the boarders of insanity.

"Edward! Calm down...please your killing me with your emotions over here!" Jasper whispered angrily.

"I can't! I need her; I need to touch and hold her. I need to be with her!" I moaned in agony trying my best to stay away from her and letting get her much needed rest.

"Bella will wake in than five minutes and it may not be pretty so hold your ground and do not move to quickly." Alice said sadly.

Alice was blocking her thoughts from me so I had no idea what she was thinking; something about a fall fashion show in Paris. I was highly frustrated and anxious-we all were-and scared to death that Bella was going to leave me or be afraid of me. I would deserve it; I did not deserve Bella in any way shape or form, I had hurt her time and time again and...this time...was by far the worst. I wanted to curl into a ball and cry and let misery have be; but I needed to be strong for my Bella.

"Why...why...do you want to hurt me? Why do...you...not...love me? Why...did...you...? Why...am...I...never...good...enough...for...you?" Bella begged in her sleep.

I fell to my knees and cried out in pain "You are too good for me Bella; it is me that is not good enough for you, I never was and never will be good enough for you." I sobbed into my hands. "I do love you...I do...I do love you! I am so sorry I hurt you Bella...so much. I am so, so, so, so sorry love! More that you will ever know!"

_"Bella...what has happened to you?"_ Jasper thought scared and shocked.

It sobered me up instantly "What Jasper? What is she feeling?" I begged standing on my feet again in the same second.

Jasper never took his eyes off Bella "I don't know what happened; it's like herself preservation switch was turned on! Bella now understands how dangerous we are; she's afraid and feels so lost and alone." He mumbled. " I have never felt a humans feelings so lost and devastated before; it's like in the meadow...the pain...the agony."

_"What have we done to this poor child! After all she has done for us, all we ever so is hurt her!"_ Carlisle thoughts were agonized and disgusted with himself and the rest of us. Out of the seven us, no matter what we have done is hurt Bella.

_"My daughter...my beloved daughter...what do we do for her? Can we do anything for her...anymore?"_ Esme was in utter turmoil that her newest daughter was in pain; Esme ached for those of us who were her children-Bella was no different to her than any of us.

_"My best friend! She's gone! I can't see her future! Bella...please come back to us! I love you! I promise not to take you shopping anymore...just anything...please!"_ Alice begged in her thoughts.

_"My baby sister...she looks so broken...sometimes I wish I was not so much of a jackass...so I could be more serious with her."_ Emmett thoughts were mixed with his clear as glass personality and his over bearing protective side. He was trying to be what Bella would want and what Rosalie wanted at the same time; he was so torn.

Rosalie was blocking my thoughts; she was ready to kill me on Bella's word, If she wanted me dead...I would be.

It had been only a three minutes and we had two minutes to go. "Please Bella..."

_"Please don't hurt me!"_ A voice said. Not just a voice a thought...the most beautiful thought i had ever heard and it was begging me not to hurt her.

"I can hear her thoughts!" I choked out.

"What!" Everyone asked at once. I just nodded and turned to watch Bella

_"As if you could out run me"_ My voice sneered in her thoughts.

_"As if you could fight me off!" _My voice snapped and snarled.

_"Everything about me invites you in...as if I need any of that!"_ I laughed bitterly.

_"Dangerous!"_ Bella's thoughts screamed in her head.

"Your right Jasper...Bella now understands..."

A high pitch scream cut off what I was going to say. I quickly looked into the beautiful chocolate brown eyes I loved so much and found nothing but fear and panic.

My heart dropped and agony ripped through me; I was going to lose my Bella...forever.

_"Seven...not good! Just go away and leave me alone!"_ Bella's thoughts screamed in fear. I decided it was time to intercede.

I stepped forward one step and watched as Bella cowered away from me in fear and terror; her body trembling and her fists were grabbing hold of the sheets with all of her feeble human strength.

_"She's afraid! Bella's afraid of us!"_ My entire family thought in shock, shame and regret.

"Bella" Carlisle said lightly and calmly; hoping it would be more soothing to her. Bella's eyes darted to Carlisle in terror; she didn't know where to look with seven us standing in the room. "I know you are frightened, but no one in this house will harm you. We will not hurt you Bella, I promise you." I noticed as well as the rest of us that Bella flinched at the word 'promise' her eyes tightened in suspicion. "We are going to be down stairs to give you some privacy and collect your thoughts; if you need anything do not hesitate to call for one of us. If you decided...to...leave...us." Carlisle choked on the words. Bella's facial expression changed into confusion and compassion. "We will understand and respect your wishes. Just call if you need anything."

"You...won't...hurt...me? You...will...come...back...if...I...need...you?" Bella whispered terrified; her voice shook in fear.

"No one will hurt you Bella; if you need something we will be down stairs." Carlisle reassured her.

Bella only nodded and we all filed single file out of my-our-bedroom; Carlisle shut the door lightly behind him. It took Bella a few minutes to start breathing normally again and move.

"What are we going to do Carlisle? I can't lose a daughter!" Esme sobbed into his shoulder. Carlisle put his arms around her and sighed.

"I don't know dear, I just don't know. Bella can't be held her against her will and we will not force ourselves on her if she is now frightened of us. Bella knows we will not harm her but now that her preservation button has been switched back on...it could be like this way until she dies." Carlisle sighed pulling Esme closer to him.

"There is one other angle we must address." Jasper said looking guilty. I snarled quietly.

"Bella maybe afraid, but she would never betray us!" I hissed furious.

"Edward is right!" Alice snapped "For once in his pathetic existence!"

_"Must get out!"_ I heard Bella's beautiful thoughts whimper in fear.

"Bella wants to leave us." I whimpered.

"NO!" Esme cried out "She needs us, she is too fragile and precious...she is our family!"

"You can still her thoughts?" Carlisle asked curiously. I nodded. "What is she thinking now?"

I closed my eyes and concentrated on Bella's thoughts alone.

_"Dangerous...yet...they will not hurt me?"_

_**No stupid...why would you believe them when all they have ever done is hurt you?"**_

"Bella's conflicted; she knows we will not hurt her but the other part of her brain is telling her to not trust us and be frightened. It is just a matter of time before we know which side will win." I explained still keeping a lock on to Bella's thoughts.

**_"Bella are you so naive?_****"**

_"Edward loves me...he will not hurt me...ever!" _

**"Really now...is that why you are sitting up in his room? In his bed wating to be eaten alive! Why do you think you are battling your thoughts right now Bella...do you not remember your agonizing time in the meadow?**

_"Edward did not leave me like I thought; I jumped to conclusions to quickly! Edward has never ever, ever tried to eat me alive! EVER! He loves me and I need him so much; I cannot let you win and drive us apart! I cannot live without him...I don't know how and I do not want to live without him again. I know he was hurting and it was my fault anyways! I pushed too hard and drove him away. I should have left when Edward told me too...it's all my fault. I did this!"_

**"Listen to me Bella...listen to what your brain is telling you! BE AFRAID, BE VERY, VERY AFRAID!" **

It was killing me to listen to her thoughts battle between what her brain wanted and what her heart wanted.

"Her heart is stronger than her mind." I told my family who was waiting quietly and anxiously. "Her mind is telling her to be very afraid but her heart is telling her that she loves us and trusts us."

I quickly went back to reading Bella's mind but it was becoming foggy like and was missing bits and pieces.

_"NO!...I...need...you...not...rule...me...loves...me...need...I...want...trust...family...friends...marriage...eternity...vampire...want...you...will...not...win!"_

**"Listen...bad...hurt...do...not...trust...love...bad...dangerous...NO...give...dangerous...please...listen...me..."**

_"NO! I love him! I need him! I will be strong for him! I am Isabella Swan and I do not let my mind rule me! I let my heart rule me and my heart wants Edward! Now but out and go away. I will marry Edward! I will make love to him! I will kick his ass for this! I will spend eternity making love to the man who loves me. I will be happy! I will not let you control me anymore! Edward is not dangerous and neither is his family. Love concurs all! Now I will not ask you again...leave me alone!" _

Bella's thoughts were intense and very insightful. I would never in my entire existents be able to make up for this.

We all heard a very familiar sound: Bella's sigh of relief. Her internal battle was fought and love won the battle!

"Her heart won!' I whispered happily and elated. I was so many happy things it was washing through Jasper at such a velocity it almost crushed him. "Her preservation switch is off!"

"Jasper?" Bella called.

Jasper took off up the stairs like a rocket. Alice wanted to trail behind him but she knew better. Jasper knocked on the door quietly.

"You can come in." Bella's voice said-totally normal-no fear or terror or anxiety. Bella was Bella again.

"You wanted to see me Bella?"

"I did. Jasper, I wanted to thank you; for taking my pain away. I honestly do not know how much longer I could have lived like that...it was...agonizingly painful." Bella said sniffing.

"Don't cry honey...shhhh...it's all right now; your safe and sound." Jasper soothed her. I wanted to be angry that it was not be but him; but I knew my anger would and could not be justified. "We were all so worried Bella...what happened to you in your mind?"

"Maybe...one day I will tell you, but not now."


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14**_

_**Esme's Point Of View**_

_**I had to make sure my daughter was all right. It was driving me insane not to be able to see her to her; I needed to see for myself that Bella was no longer afraid of us. I needed to hold my horrible human fragile daughter in my arms right now.**_

"Edward I need to see her…_**please**_…Edward." _**I begged him in my thoughts; trying to be conspicuous about my pleading, I turned my face into my husband's chest and sobbed quietly. Carlisle rubbed little circles on my back to try and comfort me. It was helping; but I could not be totally at ease until I saw my Bella.**_

"_**Would you like to go see Bella first mom?" Edward whispered quietly; it was a whisper of pain and agony, it made my heart flutter to think of my children in pain. And right now Bella and Edward were both suffering the most. I only nodded with a tiny smile of thanks and darted up the stairs.**_

"_**Esme wants to see you little sister, she is waiting out in the hallway; she was very worried about you." Jasper said hugging his little sister tightly for a second—holding his breath of course—then let her go. "If you need anything Bella, I will be down stairs." He promised Bella before he met me out in the hallway.**_

_**I stood in the doorway for a moment—to test Bella's reaction to me, but it was not needed. Bella was looking down at her tiny little hands while I was taking the few seconds to see her fragile trembling body and her mood of very mixed emotions. As a mother—even as a second mother—it killed me to see her in pain. When Bella looked into my eyes; I could see hurt, pain, confusion, betrayal, scared and many other emotions, but it was not the pain in her eyes that made me move towards her. **_

_**It was her words that made my feet move and cradle her in my arms. **_

"_**Mommy?" Bella cried breaking down; it was the worst I had ever seen from Bella; she was practically screaming at the top of her lungs as she cried a steady stream of tears. After an hour of screaming and crying; came her pleading and crying.**_

"_**Don't leave me mommy…please don't leave me mommy…I don't want you to go. I don't want you to leave me again. I need you and want you…I love you mommy." Bella cried pleading with me; her fists were griping the front of my blouse with all of her fail human strength.**_

_**I broke down. I tried to be strong for her.**_

"_**I will not leave you my daughter, I swear to you. I am here and I am not going anywhere. I will always be here for you." I promised her sobbing tearlessly, burying my face in her hair. "I love you too Bella…so much, my precious baby girl." I whispered brokenly in her ear. Then I called for Carlisle so low that Bella would not be able to hear me.**_

_**Bella just sat in my arms crying; I had never seen Bella cry or scream or seen her so frightened. Bella was the best and brightest out of us all—not to mention the strongest—but here she was broken and scared in my arms. Carlisle came in the same instant to see his newest daughter through her agonizing pain.**_

"_**What have we done to you?" Carlisle whispered horrified from the doorway—I could hear quite a few hisses and low growls from down stairs—Carlisle stumbled into the room to the bed, to take Bella from my arms. My blouse was soaked from all of Bella's tears—I could probably wring it out it was so soaked through—I gently loosened Bella's grip from my blouse; Bella shook her head from side to side violently, not wanting to let go.**_

"_**Come on honey; daddy's here." Carlisle said gently taking Bella into his embrace; Bella went willingly but gripped his shirt with the same strength, her knuckles were white as bone and no doubt cramped in pain. **_

"_**I am just going down stairs; I will be back." I swore to Bella before flying down the stairs into living room. I flew down the stairs enraged coming to a stop a foot away from Edward, who was curled into a ball on the floor by himself—no one pitied him as he sobbed brokenly the same broken tearless sobs as my own.**_

"_**Get up and follow me!" I hissed furious. "Now!" I growled standing over him.**_

_**Edward got to his feet shakily and followed me out of the forest; we were only a few meters from the house—I could still see the house from where we stood—out of Bella's hearing range. I stood for a minute taking in Edward's appearance; not far from Bella's…but he caused this pain and heart ache.**_

"_**How…how could you do this to your mate…to your Bella…to your lover?" I questioned him fuming; my hands were balled tightly by my sides. "That girl…my daughter; she sacrifices everything for you and for our family, while betraying her human family and you do nothing but hurt and lie to her. I raised you better than his Edward." I yelled at him.**_

"_**I know mom…I thought I was doing the right thing by hurting her…to hide this side of myself from Bella…" He mumbled hanging his head in shame.**_

"_**Yes because that worked so well for her…you selfish childish little boy; grow up Edward!" I snapped at him still as furious as I was five minutes ago. "All Bella wanted was for you to explain to her, all she wanted to know was why…why you refused to see her and shut her out. Bella is your fiancée for Christ sake Edward. What happens the next time this happens and she is no longer human? Are you going to run away from her again without a word and leave her for weeks or months on end? "I asked goading him further; I thrust pictures of Bella into my mind, while I held her tightly in my embrace while she cried herself out. **_

_**Edward cringed and choked out a howl of pain, gripping the sides of his head as if someone was screaming in his ear or screaming their thoughts abnormally loud in a very close proximity of him.**_

"_**All I am asking is for you to explain to her Edward…it is what you should have done in the first place!" I sighed frustrated. "Just go back to her and make everything right again…and if you ever and I mean ever hurt Bella like this again…I will not hesitate to hurt you for her; Bella is the only one out of the eight of us that cannot defend herself against our kind and most of hers. We are her protectors and her family; we are supposed to love and care and provide for her and protect her and so far all we have ever done is hurt and protect her." I pushed on as Edward just kneeled on the ground by my feet clutching his hair in his hands; I thought for sure he was going to rip it out screaming. I knelt down beside him to pull his hands from his hair—gently—and look him in the eyes. He was the burning man again; the one I saw months ago when he had first left Bella; the agony etched in his eyes was overwhelming.**_

"_**Go to her Edward…do everything you are supposed to do. Love her and protect her." I said gently. "Go now son, before it is too late." I demanded helping him to his feet.**_

_**Edward threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly still sobbing gently. **_

"_**Thank you mother, I don't deserve a mother like you or a wife like Bella…yet I was blessed with both and thanks for the kick in the ass." I chuckled lightly squeezing him tighter for a moment; I let him go and watched him dart out of the forest and into the house.**_

"_**You're welcome my son." Is all I thought before going back to the house myself; and joined my children—Edward included—he was waiting for Carlisle to call him up. **_

"_**Today is far from over and tonight will be just as long; Bella has a lot of healing to do. There will be no family hunts unless Bella is fully aware of it and has a way to contact each and every one of us. Today will never happen again." I said looking at all my children.**_

_**Carlisle came down the stairs with a tortured look on his face; his shirt was soaked—same as mine—with Bella's salt water tears. "She finally cried herself out and is now sleeping soundly." He muttered walking to the back window looking out into the forest. "I gave Bella something to help her sleep through the night." He said taking off out the open back door asking I not follow.**_

"A long night and even longer morning."_** I added mentally.**_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Carlisle's Point Of View

I ran out the back door of my home asking my beautiful Esme not to follow me; I needed the time to myself. I blocked my thoughts from Edward as soon as I heard him enter the house; I did not want him to know my thoughts on this situation yet—I knew it was only a matter of time before he came to look for me.

Jumping the river bank to the open forest I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, and with much force as I could force out of my body; it did not take long for me to find a heard of Elk and attack out of anger and rage for once. My thirst was way down on the scale—I wasn't even really thirsty—it was just something to do for the moment.

After the one and only Elk I hunted, I ran to a very familiar boulder a little ways back from the pace I hunted. It was the same place Edward and I had our last father and son talk—when he first hunted with me; after returning from Alaska. After learning that Bella was the love of his existence and his singer.

How ironic that I end up here for our next heart to heart over a similar matter.

I sat curled in on myself, my arms tight around my knees just staring off into space. My thoughts spun out of control for a long moment of time; wordless questions to wordless answers.

Then the more important questions came to the forefront of my mind—right on cue—when Edward shows up to give me the answers I am so desperately seeking. I patted the open space beside me on the boulder; Edward took his place, and said nothing, just waiting for me to start asking questions and seeking to find the answers.

I had to admit it was kind of nice not having to speak out loud all of the time; my sons gift, had a certain convenience to it—we would usually laugh or chuckle at this thought—but this conversation was full of heart ache and sorrow. I saw out of my peripheral vision, Edward hang his head in shame.

"_Three hundred plus years I have existed, I have five immortal children and one human child and yet…the most fragile and precious child seems to get hurt the most. I have truly failed as a father."_ I said hanging my head in shame, sighing in a deep sadness.

"Never think that again Carlisle!" Edward hissed angry with my thoughts.

"_How could I not Edward…it is my role as a father and this families leader to what is right for this family and everything I have done or not done has caused Bella nothing but pain and heartache. I should have fought to make you stay here, and keep my family together; but in the process I—we—abandoned a family member. The one that is a danger magnet and fragile and so helpless in this cruel, cruel world! The most angelic creature in world had her wings clipped and we just let her fall and hit ground. Now tell me that I have not failed as a father!"_ I was fuming beside Edward; out of frustration and anger; anger towards myself. _"I should have thought of all the options before we went hunting and left Bella to wake to an empty house without a note; we should have moved her to your bed or made someone stay behind. We forget so easily about Bella, _because _she cannot follow where we go; we were all so happy to see you break yourself out of your funk that we totally forgot about Bella…again! We left her in the house alone, without even thinking that _maybe; just maybe_ Alice's vision could have been wrong." _ I felt a lot better getting this out to Edward. _"We could be too late the next time Edward."_

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I let it out in a long exasperated sigh. We sat in silence for a long time; I knew Edward was collecting his thoughts. We watched the sun set behind the thin layer of pearl grey clouds, before Edward said anything.

"Carlisle…you are right, we take immortality for granted—a lot—and leave the most important person in our lives behind, each and every time. I should have known better than to leave Bella alone at the house to wake alone; I should have known the effect it would have had on her after everything that she has been thought, but I didn't. I only thought of myself. I only thought of myself because I thought Bella would see the monster in my eyes and I would lose her—I should know better by now—I thought if she saw me with crimson eyes she would be scared and run away from me and I was such a fool to under estimate her." Edward spoke quickly when he was agitated—and tonight was that night—his flow of words was angry and frightened. Frightened of losing his Bella two months before their wedding night; he was scared that she would leave him and never look back or do something drastic and hurt herself or left without protection.

"You are the most wonderful father any one could ask for Carlisle…please never forget that father! As for you—us—abandoning Bella, I do not blame you for not fighting to stay here and it was very wrong of me to make you choose between your children; and I will forever be sorry that you chose the wrong child to abandon. The most loving, caring, forgiving and fragile creature to walk the earth and she was left to fend for herself; alone and in the dark. I saw her medical file after we returned home and it appalled me—I still feel sick to my core over it—to see all of the stitches and bruises and cracks. Not to mention her mental state! Then werewolves, Laurent, Victoria and her newborn army and now this; I honestly don't know how Bella is still alive and sane and fully functioning."

By now the words were exploding out of Edward; I just sat silent as he did with me and let him get it all out. It was the best way for both of us and that is what made it so easily to vent to one another in these private father and son chats.

It was almost midnight. _"Do you think that Bella will sleep soundly the whole night though?"_ I asked Edward.

"I honestly don't know, she may because you gave her something to help her sleep; but on the other hand if I am not there she may wake. The only way to guarantee Bella sleeping though the whole night is if I am there. Though after the last week I doubt Bella will want me…"

I slapped him upside the head as hard as I could; Edward went flying off the boulder and hit the ground with a hard thud.

"What the hell was that for!" Edward growled out shifting into his hunting crouch, preparing to defend himself—if needed—it was unneeded this time.

"You wonder how you get yourself into theses messes!" I growled angry. "When you think like…like a child; when you think about _you_ and your self-loathing thoughts, that is what gets you in so much trouble."

"That was not what I was going to say!" He growled back at me. "I was going to say…Bella most likely will not want me around for the reset of night or when she wakes! Bella likes the time to process her thoughts alone!" He hissed, quickly shifting out of his crouch.

"I'm sorry Edward…I should not have…"

"No, please don't apologize." He said holding his hands up in surrender. "I deserved it and I think Bella will thank you tomorrow when she finds out about it." Edward chuckled lightly.

I could not help but chuckle along with him.

"Thank you dad; I really needed this talk—and as much as it is driving me insane that I am here instead of with Bella…it was worth it."

"No problem son; now let's get home, before Bella wakes up and finds you and me gone. Bella will most likely have both of us punished." I laughed.

"Oh I think I am in a world of hurt all ready." Edward added laughing.

I jumped off the boulder and landed beside Edward; we both took off running towards home in the early hours of the morning.


	16. Chapter 16

_Chapter 16_

_Jasper's Point Of View_

_Sitting waiting for your little sister to come to grips with herself while she battled her instincts was to say the least nerve wrecking. I did the best I could to control my emotions and everyone else's—especially Bella's. _

_My helpless fragile and frightened little sister emotions were all over the place; it took all of my concentration to help her control herself from breaking into a panic attack._

_"Bella is the first person I know to battle her self-preservation like this." I murmured quietly. "I have never felt her so frightened before…yet __very__ determined to battle it back and lock it up."_

_"Is that possible?" Rosalie gasped shocked._

_"Anything is possible when it comes to Bella. We are all stupid to underestimate her; we are supposed to be the smartest creatures on the planet, and we turn out to be the dumbest creatures on the planet…"_

_"I agree." Alice sighed curling up in my lap. "We must stop treating Bella like any other human…because she is not like other humans and we are stupid to think otherwise." _

_"Her heart won out!" Edward cheered quietly beside me; he looked absolutely elated._

_Edward was about to run to his Bella to throw himself at her feet and beg for her forgiveness for as long as he needed to; Edward would rather die than live without his Bella—we all knew it and denied it._

_Bella's emotions had returned to normal; except for confusion and exhaustion of course. I let out a very strong wave of calm and relief; we all sighed in unison._

_"Jasper?" Bella called softly from upstairs. We had been through so much this week emotionally and physically—taking on Bella's emotions as well as everyone else's in this house. Bella and became close over those last few days and it was nice to get to know her better; I had spent so much time away from her—obviously because of the control I have over my thirst—but Bella never flinched away or became uncomfortable with me. I was overjoyed with myself for being so close to Bella and not hurt her._

_I darted up the stairs to her and Edward's room; I knocked on the door to be polite and give her the choice to let me in and be close to me. But alas it was not needed; Bella invited me in and asked me to sit with her. _

_I crossed the room in a flash and sat beside her and waited for her to say something…anything._

_"Thank you Jasper…for taking away my pain I mean. I do not think I could have lived any longer in that agonizing pain. Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone to lean on. I will forever be thankful for that." Bella whispered looking me in the eyes; the pain was still there. Bella tried to the pain from me and failed…horribly._

_"Why do you do that Bella?" I asked her taking her fragile little hands in mine to comfort her. "Why do you try and hide it?"_

_"Repressing the bad things that have happened to me is like second nature to me; like running is to you." Bella said with a trace of guilt for trying to hide her feeling from me. "It is so much easier when I don't have to deal with things and just repress them and move on…it's how I survive Jasper. It is the only way I can survive in __this__ world."_

_"This world?" I echoed her choice of words._

_"Your world is so much easier to deal with; the human world is retardedly complicated and filled with so many restrictions and rules and guidelines. It is so much easier when you don't have to try and fit in with the world you live in." Bella explained. Falling into your world—the mythical world—was the easiest thing I have ever done; I feel like I belong here. I don't have to hide or even have to try and hide." She admitted openly to me._

_We sat in silence for a few moments; I was trying to take in everything that Bella had said and applied it to a story I was told so many decades ago when I was with Maria in the south. _

_"We were all very frightened Bella, we thought we lost you…will you tell me what happened inside your mind?" I asked cautiously; not wanting to push into anything she did not want to discuss with me. I did not know how far the bond we have shared these last few days covered this kind of discussion._

_"Maybe one day Jasper I will tell you…but not now." Was all she said; it was all she needed to say to me._

_"So fragile and young and so human, why do these thing happen to you my dear little sister; the only human I have ever known to accept us for what we are and we can't seem to accept you for who you are."__ I thought to myself; earning a hiss from Edward._

_Esme was headed up the stairs to see Bella; she was desperate to see her youngest daughter safe and sound. Esme needed to comfort her daughter in her time of need._

_"Little sister, Esme is waiting to come in and see you. I will be down stairs if you need __anything__ at all." I promised her hugging her tightly to me for a moment…holding my breath of course—only as a precaution—then swiftly left the room. I darted back down stairs to my wife._

_"How is she Jasper?" Alice asked clinging to me tightly as I hugged her tight to myself._

_"Bella is healing…" _


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Rosalie's Point Of View

"_You are so lucky she loves you; you stupid selfish jackass! Look what you did to her again…you are pathetic and a sorry excuse for a man! You do nothing but fuck up and hurt her again and again."_ I screamed in my thoughts glaring at Edward with pure loathing in my eyes and extreme anger rolling off my body in waves.

I let Emmett hold me tight in his big musclely arms; it calmed me a little bit—a very little bit—but my anger at Edward was almost out of my control. Emmett was really the only thing keeping me from ripping Edward to pieces for Bella.

Jasper was upstairs with Bella now talking with her; and soon after that Esme ran up and sent Jasper down stairs to Alice and to give an update on Bella's progress.

It didn't take long for the screaming and crying to start; Bella cried long and hard; I had never heard a human cry like that in real life—only in movies. It was a heart wrenching experience for all of us; it didn't take long for Bella's pleading for Esme not to leave her or for Esme to break down herself.

Bella cried for most of the day with Esme and then with Carlisle. We did nothing but sit in the living room listening to Bella scream and cry. Eventually Carlisle came down the stairs; his shirt soaked with Bella's tears, explaining that he gave Bella something to help her sleep for the night.

Charlie called a little while ago.

"Hello." I answered the phone perfectly polite.

"Hi there, this is Charlie. I am looking for Bella…she was supposed to call yesterday and I didn't hear from her. I wanted to check in on her; she was not answering her cell phone either." Charlie said anxious to talk to his only daughter.

"Oh, hi Charlie this is Rosalie…Edward's sister. Bella is shopping with Alice and Esme. Esme needed some help collecting an order in Port Angela's and out for dinner if I am not mistaken. I can get her to call you first thing in the morning if you like."

"That would be great Rosalie thank you!" Charlie sighed in relief. "How is Edward doing? Is his leg doing better?" He asked genuinely concerned.

"Bella is talking excellent care of him; I don't know what we would do without her. " I lied smoothly—well only half was a lie. "Carlisle says he is healing faster than expected, mostly due to Bella he thinks. Edward gave Bella the say off." I laughed lightly.

"Oh, well that is great news! Well I better get ready for bed. Please ask her to call me as soon as she wakes up. Have a good night Rosalie and thanks again." Charlie said before hanging up.

"_I really hope she is a better condition tomorrow in order to call him; otherwise _someone_ will have a lot of explaining to do." _I thought glaring at Edward; who just sat with his head in his hands. He did manage to hiss at me; but I just ignored him and walked back to Emmett.

Emmett's Point Of View

It was a lot harder to hear Bella scream and cry when she was only upstairs; I could not imagine what Charlie and Bella's mom had to go through when we were away. I had never felt so helpless…my little sister or my wife or my brother or my parents or my sister or brother. It was impossible to decide on who needed my help the most.

While Rose was gone out of my arms I comforted Edward as best I could; but when Bella started to scream her lugs out and then plead with Esme not to leave her, it became harder to comfort him.

"_Bella will get through this bro; she just needs time to sort through everything. You know mom and dad are doing their best to comfort her right now. I don't know how hard this is for either of you…but Bella is strong and resilient…if anyone can bounce back its Bella, bro."_ I thought trying to comfort my brother—without my wife finding out and killing me or divorcing me.

Carlisle flew up the stairs after Esme called him up; so she could come down and speak with Edward alone. Esme and Edward were only gone for ten minutes. In that ten minutes Bella's crying drifted off then cut off all together ; I could hear Carlisle dart into his office for thirty seconds then back to Bella and then down to living room where we were all waiting.

Carlisle looked almost like he was broken and tired. "She finally cried herself out and is sleeping soundly. I gave her something to help her sleep through the night. God knows she needs the rest after all she has been though today."

"I am going hunting for a while…Rose babe, do you want to come with me?" I asked her heading for the front door. Rosalie only nodded and flitted to my side before we took off into the woods.

"_Fix this Edward or so help me god…I will hurt you for her." _ Was my last thought before I was out of his hearing range.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Bella's Point Of View

After my little heart to heart with Jasper, Esme came up to check on me. The flood gates opened as soon as I saw Esme –truly a second mother to me—just waiting for me to open my heart to her. I didn't even see her move until she was cradling me in her arms on the bed.

I gripped her blouse with all of my strength, terrified to let her go and leave me behind again. I didn't have the words to talk yet—hell I didn't have the mental capacity to do anything but keep myself breathing. My thoughts spun around dizzily in my head; I shut my eyes to keep the room from spinning and triggering any unwanted nausea.

I felt Esme shift her weight under me and I thought for sure; she was going to leave me alone or just leave me all together. I had not seen or heard anyone else in the house and Jasper had left so quickly—I wondered idly, if the bond we had shared over the last few days had disappeared and if it was Esme or Alice or Carlisle that asked or demanded that he stay with me for my own sake and sanity. I felt a small pang of hurt at the thought of just being looked after than rather cared for—there was a huge difference…right?

Soon after Esme came up; Carlisle was in the room. Carlisle sat beside Esme on the bed silently—waiting for what I didn't know—until Esme passed me off to Carlisle and I clung to him.

Carlisle said very little, while I cried myself out. Every once in a while he would hold me tighter in his arms; it could have been days for all I knew for the time it took me to cry myself out, but eventually my tears began to ebb and exhaustion took its place. I sank into a deep dreamless sleep; nothing but darkness, and no sound.

No Edward or friends or family…just a dreamless and peaceful sleep.

When I woke up it was morning; raining of course. I sensed I was not alone when I lay in bed with my eyes shut; dreading the things that would be said and maybe even done. I was still unsure about what I wanted. I was far from being okay; I was hurt and confused. I was a million things right now and I had no idea how to deal with this. Edward has always kept me as protected as possible from his world, but this was not something that I could have been protected from.

To my utter amazement I started screaming out of frustration into the pillow I was clinging too. Then the screaming of words came flying out of me; I had no idea who was home, and listening in, and for once I really didn't care.

"For once in my god forsaken life can someone please explain to me what the fuck has gone on? For once in my life can something just come easy; I am so tired of trying so hard all the time. I am so tired of trying…I just want to exist without so much god damn fucking complication. It's so unfair!" I shouted angrily through my tears.

I had to get out of here, I couldn't be in this house right now, I needed time to think and be alone…I needed to be away from everything and everyone. I hopped out of bed making my way to the bathroom for a shower when something caught my eye on the chase lounge across the room.

"_We will wait for your return dearest Bella…take all the time you need. Alice has told us your decision and we respect it and understand it. Remember we all love you and will miss you so much while you are gone."_

_Love your Family_

It made me sad to think that I would be hurting my second parents and my siblings, but I needed time—I didn't know how much time I needed—all I knew was I needed a lot of time.

Underneath the note was a pair of clothes, the keys to the Volvo and a black credit card; with my name on it. I was too upset all ready to care about the black credit card, so I snatched it up and placed it in the back pocket of my Jeans before I left my own note.

I carefully took off the Edward's mother's wedding ring and put it back in its place; nestled in the black velvet box and left a note.

_I swear to you that one day I will come back for this and I will wear it again, but we have a long way until that day arrives. I ask for the simplest of things and no one ever seems to fulfill those wishes." I started to write. "I asked for my birthday to be ignored and no one listened and you left me in heart ache and pain. I only asked for you to speak to me through a door—wood and metal—and you refused that wish too. It makes me wonder how much you truly love and respect me." The tears started to flow as I continued to write._

"_You love me enough not to leave me but respect me less than that. Love is not enough for me anymore Edward. I am done being selfless; it is getting me nowhere but hurt._

_I DO love you, more than you could ever know; I respect you just as much if not more, for what and who you are and what you try so hard to be. I am human and I will admit that there is much about your world that I do not understand, but that does not mean I can't try to understand. I am not a child or stupid beyond all reason._

_Thank you to those who have helped me though the last week; it pains me to have to leave you, no matter how long I am gone."_

_I love you all so much…Bella_

I ran out of the house to the Volvo and drove off without a farewell glance, towards my dad's work to tell him I was going away for a while. He agreed when I told him that Edward was still resting and I wanted to get something's done before the wedding. I told him I loved him and would call him when I could.

'You are now leaving Forks, Washington' was the last thing I saw of the town. I hit the gas and sped towards my temporary freedom.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Edward's Point Of View

Sitting around waiting for Bella to wake was excruciatingly painful and slow; like torture—torture I deserved. Bella slept soundly and silently all night long; I don't know what was worse, being away from her and have her mad and upset with me or not being able to be with her and not hear her talk in her sleep. I tried to concentrate on Bella's heart beat to calm myself down; but the thoughts in my head made it harder to concentrate.

"_I really hope Bella is better in the morning…the poor girl was so distraught with grief yesterday. What are we going to do if Bella decided to leave us for good? What is she cancels the wedding."_ Esme's thoughts were focused on Bella, but every now and then her thoughts would drift towards me and my wellbeing.

Alice was searching the future more than ever; Jasper held her in his arms on the couch. Alice was coming up empty, just little things that meant nothing to her or me.

Bella's custom made heels for the wedding were ready to be picked up, a few last R.S.V.P called in, and the cake decorator had run out of some product and needed a substitute. Things that had nothing to do with our present situation; it was maddening.

"_I wonder if my little sister is any better now, all she needs is to say the word and I will hunt that rotten bastard down and rip him to shreds. Esme and Carlisle would be upset with me…but that isn't what's important right now." _Rosalie's thought just as angrily before her and Emmett went for their hunt; I could hear them coming through the forest now.

"_I hope Bella is better, because I really don't want to rip up my favourite brother. I need a hunting partner and we need this family to be complete…finally. I cannot believe, Bella was the missing piece for so long and now she might leave. Well if she leaves…I may leave to protect her until she wants to come home or dies of old age." _Emmett thoughts were brotherly and protective, mixed with irritation—towards me of course.

Carlisle was hiding his thoughts from me. He sat with Esme holding her hand beside Alice and Jasper. Emmett and Rosalie finally made it back and retreated to the garage for a few hours; they came to sit with us after an hour and lounged underneath the stairs sitting in silence.

It wasn't until about five in the morning that Alice finally had the vision we were waiting for.

"NO!" Alice cried jumping to her feet.

"What Alice?" Jasper asked quickly sitting her back in his lap.

"Bella…she has decided to leave us…until she is ready to come home." Alice sobbed into her husband's chest.

"When Alice? When will Bella come home to us?" Esme begged frantically; her worst nightmare was coming true, and it was my entire fault…again.

Alice shook her head slowly still locked on her vision "Bella may never come back; I see her dying warm in her bed or my original vision. Only one vision has us in it. If Bella stays human she will not come home and will leave us forever, but she goes the other way her original plan is still in effect."

"What about the wedding?" Rose mused.

"Until Bella makes her choice…there may not be a wedding at all. I don't see the wedding in my visions. As far as I can see the wedding has been cancelled." Alice moaned.

"Bella…what have I done to you?" I whispered sinking to my knees; still locked into Alice's visions. "She can't leave…she can't…"

"This is not your choice Edward!" Rose hissed from under the stairs "The fact that Bella is even considering coming back is more than you deserve, so shut the hell up and start acting like a man for once in your pathetic existence!"

"Agreed." My siblings murmured quietly, not looking in all different directions of the room.

No one said anything after that; most everyone's thoughts were silent after that. An hour went by until Alice was swept into one of her visions; we were to be out of the house when Bella left, to make it easier on her—and more painful for me.

"Carlisle…we need to leave soon." Alice whispered. "It will be easier for Bella without an audience, so her decision is not hindered by our presence. Thirty minutes to be exact."

"Then everyone get ready to leave…we will not stand in Bella's way or make her feel that she must stay. It is only fair. Do not even think about protesting Edward; Bella deserves this; I will have Emmett and Jasper hold you against your will if I must." Carlisle sighed in a whisper of pain.

"_No Edward, you are not going upstairs to her…just leave now." _ Alice's screamed in disapproval in my head.

"Let the others know" I said before I let my anger and guilt run me out of the house—away from my Bella—until my Bella left.

I could hear Alice tell my family for my reason for leaving so quickly, it seemed that everyone else wanted to follow in that same second. Carlisle let me have my time alone for the next half hour, then meet up later when we could go home.

I returned home long after Bella had left us; I ran to Seattle and back about a hundred times before it became horridly boring—self-loathing was hard work—finally giving up I ran home smashing trees and rocks between hunting larger prey; prey that liked struggling against me. It was easier for me to release all of my anger against something that struggled for life—rather than the other living beings, like rocks and trees that just let you crush them to death.

I fed violently as I crushed there rib cages against my chest, crushed and ripped out there throats with my bare hands; growling and snarling in rage. It was a great physical outlet. By the time I actually made it home I was caked in mud and animal blood; leaves and small twigs were imbedded in my hair, my shoes were completely covered in mud. I ignored the glares from Alice and Esme and made my way to mine and Bella's room to shower and change—I muttered my apologies before slamming the bedroom door so I could fall apart in private.

I threw my soiled clothes and shoes into the trash bin beside the toilet. I had a scalding hot shower; it tickled my skin a bit—it reminded me of Bella's constant warmth and how much I missed it. I cleaned myself off quickly with Bella's soap, then washed my hair with Bella's strawberry shampoo and conditioner—it smelt so much like my Bella, I missed her so much—I showered until the hot water ran out. I got myself dressed in the clothes Alice had laid out for me and laid in bed; Bella's scent was always the strongest in and around her bed.

I lay in bed; I lay in bed and wait for Bella to come home to me. I lay in bed waiting for my Bella. I will lay in bed and wait for my Bella…forever.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Bella's Point Of View

I had an idea of where I was going to go; one of the places I already knew how to get too; the other was going to take a little bit of help. My first stop was a place I had not visited since before I moved to Forks and again when James was hunting me a few years ago and I so blindly fell into his trap; Phoenix, Arizona. The place I once called home, the place that harboured all of my childhood memories, and the most important thing of all in my home town. My Grandmother Marie Swan's grave site; my gran had moved closer to us after my Renee left Charlie and took me with her.

My other stop was going to remain a non-decision due to Alice's wonderfully annoying Vampire medium, seeing the future. Edward will have Alice looking for me all day every day to keep track of me and I was going to do my absolute best to stay away from those visions. I refused to be baby sat from thousands of miles away; so I made a snap decision to go to La Push before taking off Phoenix.

It was decided that Seth would come with me—Edward would not be able to be upset with me now that I was taking precautions and protection with me—and Alice would be not be able to see me as long as Seth was close by.

I called the airline on the way to the airport, ordering two first class tickets to Phoenix, then booked two rooms from the same hotel that Alice, Jasper and I stayed in while Edward and the rest of his family hunted James in Forks. Seth and I talked about what had happened between Edward and I—I made it sound like a fight, I of course kept Edward's slip a secret—over the last week; that I was making it look like I was leaving him for good. That all I needed was some time to calm down and indirectly make him suffer as a consequence.

"You are one diabolical chick Bella." Seth laughed giving me a high five; I laughed along with him for a moment before lapsing into silence.

"I am not really trying to punish him Seth; I am just looking for answers in places I think might help me. My grandmother was the next closest person in my life besides Renee and Edward can't remember a whole lot about his parents or maybe he just doesn't want to tell me—for whatever reason is beyond me. I am a little ashamed to admit that is one of the reasons I brought you along." I whispered embarrassed.

"So Alice wouldn't be able to see you go there and him find out and maybe get upset with you when he does find out." Seth guessed; he guessed right on target. Seth was just as perceptive as I was.

"Yes, I'm sorry Seth, I just didn't want…" I felt so guilty and ashamed, I almost felt like crying. Seth's giant hot hand took my fragile room temperature hand in his and gave it a light squeeze. I made myself look Seth in the eyes; I found nothing but friendship and understanding.

"Really Bella, it's okay. I understand how it is, always having someone in your head or able to see anything without giving them permission too. It's all part of being a wolf; but when I get to turn back into a human and my thoughts are my own again, it's a whole new freedom. Even if it only for a little while." Seth explained. "I guess even though Edward can't read your thoughts, is kind of a good thing, but for Alice to watch your every move and not have any privacy at all…I can't imagine what that must be like for you. And I am getting something out of the deal; a first class flight, a hotel room all to myself, and I am definitely looking forward to trying out new foods." He laughed and I could not help but laugh along with him. "But I have other reasons too. Edward and I kind of get along and I knew that in the end when he does find out that I went with you to protect you and give you some company in the right way; not like Jake or any other boy; just me… your friend. I see the way Edward looks at you Bella; it's the exact same way that Sam looks at Emily. I know Edward loves you in the forever kind of way, the only this love is really the forever kind of love; where my kind dies out when our imprint dies. We find another eventually after a while, if we are still phasing enough. Could you imagine a fifty year old man imprinting on a ten year old…talk about creepy."

We both shivered at the thought of Seth's words coming true; we lapsed back into silence for the rest of the flight. We retrieved our luggage and rented a car before heading towards the hotel. Thankfully I knew my way around so we didn't have to waste any time driving around like lost tourists. I checked us into our rooms; we put our luggage away in our designated rooms—right beside one another—then went out for dinner.

"Hey Seth, so you like Mexican food? I know of a wicked Mexican restaurant here in town, some of the best food you will ever eat. I swear; there potions are enough for you and they have an all you can eat buffet along with all you can eat desserts." I asked watching Seth's eyes go wide when I mentioned the all you can eat Buffet. I think he actually drooled a little bit; the look on his face was priceless, so I quickly snapped a picture of his face with my I-Phone.

"Hey…that better not be for black mail later on in life!" Seth's voice was teasingly outraged.

"No, just one of those priceless moments I get to post on Facebook when I get home; I would do it here but then, Alice and the other would know where I am and who I am with." I explained shrugging.

I missed Edward so much, but my anger pushed me forward. I missed them all so much, maybe I only had to go far as Phoenix to find what I was looking for. Seth must have noticed my moping because he tried to cheer me up.

"Hey Vamp girl! Let's get some Mexican, I'm starving, I can't wait to see the faces of the owners as I pack away all that food." We laughed as we walked out of the hotel.

"We won't need the car, it is just a few minutes up the street; I know this place like the back of my hand." I grinned.

"Ooohhh my own private tour guide; I feel so honoured." He said jumping up and down like a five year old boy.

"I didn't notice Claire on the trip with us." I teased.

"Very funny Bells, now can we please eat…I am starving!"

When I told Seth it was only a few minutes away and I meant it; it took us all of two minutes to get to the restaurant. I let Seth eat in silence as he packed away food like a mammoth.

"That was so _good_ Bella; thanks so much for taking me there; although I will admit you Quesadillas have nothing on there's. Yours are so much better."

"Thanks Seth." I blushed, a little. "In the morning there is only one place I want to go…besides breakfast; then if I feel I need to go on then I will, but until then let's get some shut eye. I am tired from all of the food and travelling.

I said a quick good night to Seth before we took our separate rooms for the night. It wasn't long before the tears started to fall and I huddled myself into a ball and cried myself to sleep; the ache in my chest flared and peaked and rose in temperature and in pain. I felt like a hand was squeezing my heart with all of their strength, it ached so badly, I wanted to rip out my own heart to ease my pain. Sleep did not bring any comfort to me, just more pain; it came in waves, some worse than others. The ache in my chest didn't exactly help my pain issues either, but I made myself remember that this pain was only temporary.

Morning came sooner than I expected it too; it felt like I had only slept for five minutes. Exhaustion was not enough to keep me pinned in bed for longer than five minutes, besides Seth knocked on my door asking if I was okay. I told him the time away from Edward hurt, that I wanted to get today done and over with before I went home.

We went through a Jack In The Box drive thru; Seth had never had Jack In The Box before so I thought why not. Although Seth ate enough for five people, he said it was satisfying and filling to last him until we arrived at the airport.

I drove for an hour before reaching my destination. Bolin Cemetery—where my gran was buried almost a decade ago—Seth offered to stay in the car and check in on me in a half hour. Seth was very sweet.

"It's your grandmother Bella…it just doesn't feel right, it's not that I don't want to support you…I just. I think you need to do this on your own, I fully respect that Bella. I will wait here in the car; I will have a nap and check in on you in a while, I will set my watch to wake me up. Go see your grandmother Bella."

"Thank you Seth…for being here with me and being so…supportive. I cannot tell you how much it means to me." I said kissing his cheek before jumping out of the car into the baking heat with a tiny little cactus—flowers wilted within hours, so there was no real point to flowers.

Walking off towards my grans grave I felt a familiar lump in my throat, I tried to swallow against it, but it caught in my throat; I practically choked on it. Thick tears started to cascade down my cheeks before I even became close to her grave, I suddenly ached to have Edward by my side, but this was something I had to do on my own—Seth was right about that—I wasn't a child anymore and this was the last time I would ever get to see my gran in glorious blue ever expanding sky.

I took the last few steps to gran's grave, the simple rock headstone read.

Marie Elizabeth Swan – Beloved wife – mother- grandmother – you will be missed and remembered – rest in peace child of god.

"Hi Gran…it's me…Izzy-Bella."


	21. Chapter 21

Seth's Point Of View

Chapter 21

It was still a shock to my system, when Bella requested that I chauffer her to California; Bella wanted to visit her Grandmother's grave site. I didn't have any reason not to go—as long as it was alright with Sam and my mom—of course it was.

"I don't see why not." Sam said looking at my mom; she just shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't see a problem with it either…as long as it is only for the two days." My mom mused. "What I don't understand is…why Seth?"

I silently wondered that too.

"Because Seth is the most supportive, and dare I say easier to deal with. Jared or Paul would do nothing but whine." Bella said smirking at me; I grinned back. "Besides Edward and the rest of the Cullen's trust Seth the most, as do I. I know that Seth can protect me—if need be—and I know it would look a little more inconspicuous if I went with someone that looked closer to my age range. If it is a problem…"

My heart sank for a moment; they were going to say 'no' and Bella was going to go on her own; my mother had a bad habit of changing her mind at the very last minute. I was so excited to go too!

Sam had his deep in thought face going on, no doubt weighing the pros and cons of the situation; if Sam said 'no' I didn't have a prayer of my mother saying 'yes'. Bella tried to look indifferent about the situation—giving both Sam and my mom time to think.

"No, it's not a problem…as long as it is alright with Seth's mom." Sam finally piped up.

"I don't see why not, it's only two days; as long as you check in every few hours and let us know that you landed safely in California and then again when you land in Seattle."

I felt so tightly wound up in my excitement, I thought I would snap at any moment; I was really going to California!

"Of course" Bella agreed.

I was shaking my head like a complete idiot—great maturity Seth—I chided myself.

"Here is my cell number" Bella wrote down her cell number on a piece of paper while I ran to my room to pack for my mini vacation; her voice fading away as I barrelled down the hall to my room.

I quickly packed some clothes, grabbed my toothbrush from the bathroom, a few comic books for reading material, and last but not least my PSP, charger and games. It took me all of ten minutes to pack.

"Are you ready to go?" Bella asked heading toward the front door, with my mother hot on her heels; Sam was giving me the 'I better behave look', I nodded trying to be cool about the whole situation—there was not need to be a child and jump up and down. Yet.

"I'm ready when you are" I tried to push the excitement out of my voice; of course I failed horribly. I walked out of the house to find a tiny silver Volvo; instead of Bella's mammoth decrepit truck. "Where is your truck Bella?

"Well, if we wanted to make it to the airport anytime soon; my tuck would take us there in a day." Bella frowned slightly. "Sorry about the smell, it's Edward's car; he and Alice agreed to let me drive it to the airport."

I didn't say anything, when she said Edward and Alice; Sam and I glanced at one another, when we saw Bella wince a little; my mom didn't notice at all—that's how subtle Bella was about that kind of stuff.

Putting my bag in trunk, and closing it gently—if I did anything to this car, Edward might lose all of his nice feelings towards me. I hugged my mom goodbye and nodded to Sam. I pushed the passenger seat as far back as it would go; it was a very comfortable car.

Bella got in the driver's side silently, shutting her door as gently as I had shut mine; Bella passed me a book of CD's.

"You can pick out what you like, I listen to whatever is in there; I didn't think you would really want to listen to classical." She chuckled. "It won't be a long ride, this car goes quite fast."

"Cool" I said searching though the book of CD's, I found a Linkin Park CD, I had not yet heard; I was a little shocked to see that they both listened to this particular genre. "Linkin park" I questioned popping it into the player.

"He must have been brooding again." Bella sighed.

We both went silent after that; I really didn't want—or know—how to bring up the subject of Edward and the Cullen's. Bella was a really good friend of mine and the packs, so I didn't want to bring up things that would hurt her.

Less than two hours later we were boarding a plane to California.

_Please forgive my long awaited update! I have been so busy with life and love…not to mention moving. Thank–You for sticking with me. I know you all must hate me for taking sooo long. Please Review!_

_LouLouCullen :)  
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	22. Chapter 22

Bella's Point Of View

Chapter 22

"Bella, honey…" Seth's low voice woke me from my slumber—I didn't even know I had fallen asleep. "It's been over an hour, Bella, I am worried about the sun Bella; you have been out here for a while, we can always come back."

I rubbed my eyes lifting my head off the grass, plucking the wilted flowers from my hair. If I was going now, I was going home.

"Just give me a minute to say goodbye." I requested huskily, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat.

Seth only nodded, before kissing the top of my head. Seth waited a few feet away. "I hope to see you again soon Gran…I love you, and thanks. I will miss you so much, say 'hi' to granddad for me." I whispered. I took out my cell and snapped a quick picture of my grans grave; then sent a text message to Sam; telling him we were on our way home.

"I just texted Sam" I said walking towards the car—leaving my last little bit of sad girl behind me. "I miss home, I miss Edward."

"Then let's get you home vamp girl." We both chuckled getting in the car; the drive back was cheerful, time flew by the rest of the day.

Seth and I went back to the hotel to grab our stuff and check out, before leaving for the airport. The drive to the airport seemed like five minutes—it must have been the excitement of going home—I called Charlie, just before we boarded the plane, telling him where I had gone and that I was on my way home.

Charlie totally understood and wished me a safe trip home—he didn't know that Seth was with me—I told him to keep Edward and the rest of the family out of loop. I wanted to surprise him. It was a surprise to see Sam, Emily, Sue and Billy there waiting for us.

"Good trip?" Emily smiled hugging me tightly. Billy gave my hands a squeeze, to let me know he missed and supported me.

"We had a great time; didn't we Bella!" Seth crowed pulling Sue into a huge, bone crunching bear hug. We all just laughed. I nodded grabbing my bags from the baggage claim.

I asked if Seth could stay with me a few more hours before I let him go. "I don't want Edward to know I am home yet, I want to surprise him…please…please…please…Sue?" I pleaded unashamed, using my big doe eyes as a pleading tactic—thankfully Seth joined me in the pleading.

Seth and I were almost home; I told him to hide the Volvo down the street and meet me back at the house. Charlie was at work; it was only noon. I took a quick shower to wash off the 'wet dog' smell and pretty myself up a little bit. It was warm and sunny out today so I decided to put on a crimson red and black stripped dress with a long sleeved white top to go underneath; leaving my cleavage very visible—or out in the open as some guys would call it. My dress fit me like a second skin—I brought it home from my old home in Phoenix—with thin black satin strings tying up the edges. Edward was going to go nuts. I let my hair dry a little before I curled it at the bottom an even a little bit of nude colour lip gloss.

"Wow…Bella…you're gonna knock him dead. No offence" He added.

"None taken; I knew what you meant and he will too…now let's go!" I said pulling by his huge dangling arms. I kept a safe distance away from him, so I didn't pick up too much of his wolf stench.

"Maybe I should go before you reach the house…it may cause…"

"Edward will be very grateful for your protection for the last few days; don't worry about it." I said before he could open his door at the next stop sign and bail on me.

We were just hitting the drive when I streak of white ran towards the car and yanked me out before I could blink.

"Bella…I missed you so much…I knew you would come home!" Alice squealed hugging me tightly. "You look amazing by the way! He's gonna go nuts when he sees you…"

"Alice…human…need…lungs…breathe!" I panted before another set of arms grabbed me; Esme.

"Thank you Seth for looking after Bella…we kind of figured that she was being protected by one of you." Carlisle said shaking Seth's hand.

"I had a great time, and I think Bella needed that trip…just as much as I did." He laughed. "Well I am head out Bella, I miss my mom and I know she will tie me to her for the next week if I don't go home now."

We all laughed.

"Thanks Seth for everything." I said; a light pink blush rose in my cheeks.

"Anytime for you Bella…and remember…knock him dead." We laughed together, one last time before he took off in the trees.

"You had to be there." I snickered. "Where is…"

"He will be home soon" Esme said. "I forced him to go, out and hunt with his brothers. Bella he is so utterly heartbroken…"

"The wedding will go on!" Alice screeched running into the house.

Esme and Carlisle kept pace with me as we walked in the house and back out into the back yard. Alice was already out back lounging in the sun with the latest fashion magazine.

"I hear Jazz and Emmett." Esme murmured looking towards the forest. My heart sank when she didn't say Edward's name.

"Edward will come; he will be…never mind. I can hear him now." Rose said.

"Whoa…who is the little hottie, with the amazing ass?" I heard Emmett boom from across the yard.

I turned pink.

"Your sister in law you pervert!" Rosalie growled.

Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Jazz and I erupted into laughter. The look on Emmett's face was priceless.

"Wow…little sis…smoking hot!" Emmett complimented in his own little perverted way.

"Thanks…"

"Bella…" I heard from behind me; his velvet smooth voice flowed through me like a tidal wave—almost knocked me off my feet—I turned to face him with a greedy desperation. My body ached for his touch, his kiss, his ice cold skin against the flame of mine. I wanted him so badly my body cramped up in pain, but I steeled myself to stay where I was—and not throw myself at him like nothing happened.

"Let's give them some privacy." Carlisle said ushering the family into the house. "It's good to have you home Bella, we missed you so much."

"It's good to be home." I said turning to face him. "I missed you guys too."

Edward still had not moved from his spot—and I was kind of happy he hadn't—I had to sit before I fell over. We sat in silence for a few minutes, waiting for the other to say something—I was the first to break it. The silence between us was deafening.

"What happened between us…it won't…just evaporate and go away, and I don't want it too." I said seriously frowning a little bit at the memory. "I came to the conclusion that maybe you were right…and I was wrong. I was being selfish. "Edward had a puzzled look on his face, trying to figure out the meaning behind my words. "I meant maybe it was wrong of me to stay here for a week…when you told me to leave; all I wanted was to understand. If I had listened to you…instead of being so stubborn, then…maybe, we wouldn't be in the mess were in now."

"Bella…"

"Please let me finish." I pleaded with him. "Everyone told me that, I was helping you by staying, but I think they were wrong; you didn't need me." I breathed trying not to cry.

"You didn't need me to get you through this…this…part of your life; and all I want is to understand why, why didn't you need me?" My voice cracked on my last word. "I need to know Edward, is there a part in your life that I am not able to fulfill for you? Is there something I am not able to give you? I'm only human Edward…and I can try to understand or help or move out of your way unless you tell me too. So please…is there a part of me that isn't enough for you?" I sounded like I was pleading with him, instead of asking him.

"Am I enough for you Edward?" I asked again.

My heart throbbed painfully in my chest, waiting for his reply; the tears spilled silently over the rims of my eyes, blurring my vision. I was fighting the instinct to hyperventilate, trying to take long deep breaths.

Edward's eyes never left my face; his face was contorted in pure agony; I could see the remorse shrieking silently in his eyes. Slowly Edward's eyes shut and started to shake his head ever so slightly.

His answer was 'no', I wasn't giving him everything he needed. I couldn't help the cry of sheer agony that ripped from my lips; Edward's eyes snapped open, his face contorted into a mask of what could look like someone who was burning alive.

_I know I am so evil with the cliffy! Please let me know what you think! Press that button below! _

LouLouCullen :)


	23. Chapter 23

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight!

Edward's Point Of View

Chapter 23

I don't think I could have sunk down in the mattress any more than I already was; it was the only thing keeping me here—instead of running off to find Bella. Then again, I didn't really have any clue where she was. It was maddening; but I had to remember that I was the one that I had put myself in this insufferable position.

Every time I thought of my beautifully angelic Bella, a low sob caught on my throat and my self-loathing increased tenfold—I felt even worse when Jasper and Alice left for the night, because he could no longer take my negative emotions. It did however amaze me that I had managed to tune the remainder of my family's thoughts out of my head—it was silence I didn't deserve.

I used this time to plan a way to fix things with Bella. How was I ever going to fix this catastrophe of a mess I had single handily caused _again?_ How would she ever forgive me? When would she come back—if at all? Would the wedding still go on? Had I destroyed my life completely this time?

I could only hope that I hadn't. The only thing I could do now, the only thing I had hop for now, was to wait and wonder over my beautiful Bella.

Intent on torturing myself further, I started to pull memory after sweet memory of Bella and I—Bella and I in our meadow on the countless sunny days in the summer months, Bella and I playfully bantering about what movie we were going to see on our date nights. Or the most painful and most pleasurable of all my memories, were the times we would gently push the physical boundaries of our relationship.

With every stroke of her fingers, Bella's fiery touch swept beneath my skin, into my bones and caused my insides to tremble with want, need and a long dormant desire. Her warm soft lips connecting with mine in a way that had white plumes of light explode inside the pit of my stomach and dance behind my eyelids; only Bella could make me feel this way—she was the only one who had ever made me feel this way, she was the _only_ one I wanted to make me feel this way.

With a heavy sigh, my mind turned in on itself, bringing the memories of the last week into sharp clarity, the knowledge that I had again failed Bella terribly.

Nothing caused me more intolerable suffering than seeing or hearing my Bella in pain and needless suffering. Had I been wrong to block Bella from this side of me, to protect her this way? Was it really protecting her? Or was it my own selfish needs rising to the surface to cloud out my better judgement? Answerless circles flew around in my mind causing me to become dizzy with frustration.

Opening my mind for a few seconds, I tracked down where Carlisle was in the house—maybe he could help me—of course he was in his study, just waiting for me patiently. He knew I would crack sooner or later; sometimes I think he knows me better than I know him.

"Father" I whispered, just enough so he would hear; I don't think I could speak any louder than I had if I wanted to. My guilt was lodged in my throat, choking me to death—an impossibility, that seemed so probable in this moment in time.

"_Edward, talk to me, please. It hurts me so, to see you suffering so badly."_ Carlisle begged in his thoughts, his face was contored in a deep sadness, he looked old for his physical age. it killed me inside to see him like this.

I wasn't the best person to admit his faults, because I was very rarely wrong, in most any situation.

"I…I hurt her Carlisle, again." I moaned sadly "I put my hands on her Carlisle; you didn't see the hurt or betrayal in her eyes!" I hissed angrily. There is no excuse in the world, which I could even start to deserve, for that crime." It felt good to get this off my chest, but not good enough…yet. "

"Son, you know what human blood brings out in our kind; it wasn't you that laid a hand on Bella, we know that, and so does Be…"

"No, she doesn't, and you know that!" I snarled furious cutting him off. "I should have—someone should—have explained it to her."

"Edward, she already knew, she told me she understood, before we had made it back to the house." That caught me off guard; I never told Bella any of this. "She knows that it was not you who acted out towards her, Bella knew it was only the blood talking." Carlisle explained quietly "The only thing Bella could not understand is why you didn't let her in. You ask her every day, millions of times a day to let you into her mind; yet you would not grant her the same admittance. It's the only thing she wanted Edward, was to help carry you, through your time of need, and you shut her out; time and time again."

I was a monster.

"You have always under estimated her, you don't give her enough credit; Bella sees and understands more that you realize. Though one of her biggest faults, in my opinion is she lets you get away with it. Bella leaves you in hopes that you will confide in her the way, you ask her to—the way she does on her own—but you don't; I doubt that you ever have. You must stop trying to protect and shelter her so fiercely Edward; what happens when, she is one of us, and knows nothing, because you shelter too much. Trust her Edward, trust yourself; you are going to drive her away Edward…for good this time."

"You're right" I admitted lamely "of course you are right."

"Bella trusts you with everything she is—heart, mind, body and soul—what have you given Bella in return?"

"Nothing," I sobbed coving my face with my hands "I have given her nothing; and she has given me everything—or at least has tried—and I have valiantly refused her every time. " I though back to everything I had ever given to Bella, everything she has ever asked for; and nothing came to mind—because the only things she had ever wanted I refused to give her.

I had taken her to prom, against her wishes. I had let Alice throw her a birthday party when she never wanted one in the first place; she wanted that particular day to be forgotten. I had let Alice get her way too many times; I had let Emmett walk past Bella too many times, when she had fallen, just so he could laugh at her. I had let Rosalie become one of Bella's fears—Bella feared Rosalie, more than Jasper—and I had kept Bella away from a family member that loved her so much. Bella was not afraid of Jasper. Or the worst of all yet—was leaving Bella, for the soul purpose of trying to keep her safe, when it did no good at all.

I had selfishly steered Bella in the direction, I wanted her to go; and she let me, knowing that I would get my way one way or another.

Bella had offered me her love and I had greedily accepted it, Bella had offered me her body, and I refused to let her give it to me, Bella had offered me her soul and I refused to take it, in hopes of preserving it.

It took me less than a tenth of a second to figure all this out.

"How do I fix it dad?" I pleaded trying to choke back a sob "How do you fix something you have destroyed, time and time again; what if I can't fix it, what if I am too late this time?"

"By accepting all that Bella has to offer you; you are going to have to push boundaries and break down walls, you are going to have to trust her and yourself." He told me smoothing my hair away from my face. "Stop protecting her so much; Bella is only as fragile as you make her Edward; before you know it has happened, she will have lived so sheltered that she will start fearing the outside world—the human world."

"I just hope it's enough" I whispered.

"It will be son, it will be. I know you and I would like to think that I know Bella enough, to know that she will surprise you when you least expect it." He chuckled; and despite my mood, I chuckled right along with him. How true that was. Bella was a huge to surprise to all of us and constantly keeping us on our toes.

It was then that I had made up my mind to have a family meeting before Bella arrived home; things were going to be different when she came home…and for the better. Carlisle's phone rang in his pocket.

"Alice and Jasper will be home momentarily; apparently we are going to have a family meeting." Carlisle smirked at me gliding towards my bedroom door, with me hot on his heels.

"Things have to change, I have to change, and we have to change." I explained making my way to the dining room table— where we held all of our family meetings—"Rosalie, Esme, Emmett; could you please join us in the dining room for a family meeting."

I sat at one of the head ends of the table, Carlisle had joined me on my right side, Esme beside him, Emmett and Rosalie had joined us on the left side of the table and Alice and Japer had flitted into the house standing behind Carlisle and Esme.

"_It's about time; you pulled your head out of your ass!" _Alice teased; I glanced at her nodding once in confirmation.

"Thank you all for joining me" I said sincerely "I know over the past week or so things have been out of balance, and I will take full responsibility for that. I also wanted to say that I am truly sorry for what I have put you all through, and again wanted to thank you for being there for Bella, when I wasn't."

Esme reached around Carlisle to put her hand on my shoulder in support and understanding. "Most of us know that you were facing Edward, those of us who do, understand." Esme said smiling at me slightly "I just wish you would have handled Bella a little better; she's devastated Edward."

"You are lucky, you're still in one piece; no one should have to go through that…it was cruel and highly unnecessary!" Rosalie hissed furious. She was still beyond furious with the way I had handled things with Bella. "You of all people, the most refined and polite; you put your hands on Bella, not to mention said some horrible unforgiving things."

"Rosalie…please…this isn't helping matters." Carlisle pleaded, trying to tame the wild ferocity that was Rosalie's temper.

"_I agree bro, how could you…my little sister."_ Emmett barked in his thoughts, glaring at the floor, like he was trying to burn a hole in the wood slats.

"This is about all of us Emmett" I hissed.

"All of us? What have we done to Bella?" Emmett hissed back balling his hands into fists—as if to throw a first punch.

"Everyone, calm down, this is a family meeting." Esme ordered giving a pointed glance in Emmett's direction; then motioned me to keep going with a wave of her hand.

"How about laughing at her every time she trips or falls?" I hissed through clenched teeth," or just walking past her, instead of helping her up and asking if she is alright. Or how about the millions of shopping trips you know she hates Alice, or the millions of make overs, you know she hates, treating her like a living Barbie doll."

"You know that…"

"Yes Alice, we all know, you know nothing of your human life, but that is no excuse to use it on Bella; she is a living breathing human being. Bella can't defend herself from our kind, nor can she say no, because she knows it will hurt your feelings and she would hate that."

"What about me?" Rosalie challenged; thinking I would keep her secret safe—but now was the perfect time to rat her out; if she did anything in retaliation, Esme and Carlisle would be even more disappointed in her and she knew it. Rosalie was trapped.

"Like you don't know Rosalie, Bella is terrified of you; she is terrified that you will harm her, or explode on her, like you do. Its bad enough Bella has little to no self-esteem to begin with, you don't help matters; jealous or not Rose, the attitude must stop. It is not her fault she is human, and you will remember that. Stop blaming her for things that are not even her fault; she wasn't even thought of when you were turned."

"Rosalie Lillian Hale!" Esme screeched furious, everyone jumped a little afraid of Esme's sudden anger;Esme was rarely angry with anyone. "How dare you, how could you…I have never been more disappointed in you! You will be nicer to Bella…without the attitude. You have no right, being jealous over something Bella can't control; this is the cause of your hated towards Bella." Esme was no longer accepting Rosalie's negative emotions toward Bella. "You have terrified your own sister…Bella is a part of this family and you will do good to remember that. Am I being at all misunderstood?"

"No, ma'am" Rosalie pouted leaning her weight on Emmett for support. Rosalie had never disappointed Esme or Carlisle to this degree before; she was nearly in tears and filled with regret.

"Jasper; I owe you an apology." I said locking onto his gaze. "It is not right of me to keep Bella away from you, what happened was a one-time mistake, and I do not want you to feel as if you must stay away from Bella. Bella is your sister as well, and my fear of her always being hurt, is driving a wedge between you. You know your limits, and I trust you to keep yourself in check around her; if you feel at all overwhelmed, you must explain the reason for your action. I don't want Bella feeling like that it is always her fault."

Jaws dropped to the floor and silence filled the room both verbally and mentally—for me anyway. It was time for me to make my verbal list of things that I must work on, around Bella.

"I am no better than the rest of you" I admitted embarrassed "I also have my faults…"

"Such as..." Alice probed.

"Well for one, Bella is not a porcelain doll—thought still very fragile to us—I need to remember that; that sheltering her from every little thing, isn't going to do me or her or us any good. Its' bad enough the Volturi know about her, and nothing could be more terrifying than that in this world. I have been extremely selfish and manipulative towards her; her birthday, prom, and so much more."

"We all have our faults when it comes to Bella, and we all need to work on them." Carlisle interjected. "We underestimate her perception, her determination and loyalty' Bella sees and understands more than we had ever expected. It is hardly fair to treat her the way we all have, Bella accepted us without a hint of doubt or fear or judgment; we must be willing to the same."

"I agree" Esme smiled at her husband, squeezing his free hand.

A chorus of agreements rang throughout the room.

"I think a family hunt is order, to seal the deal!" Alice chirped happily, clapping her hands together like a little child. "I can see that the next twelve hours will be free for all of us. We need to be ready for…when Bella returns."

Another chorus of agreement rang throughout the room.

Things were not set right yet, but would be soon enough. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Bella would forgive me; it was just the timing that wasn't certain…and I would wait forever for the words to pass though her lips to warm my still un-beating heart…again.

Authors Note: I do sincerely apologise for being so late with an update on this story. I had some hard core writers block. I also wanted to let you know that this Chapter is a long one and will be split into two parts.


	24. Chapter 24

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Edward's Point Of View

Part Two

Chapter 24

Our family hunting trip, wasn't really a hunting trip 'per se' it was more of a family bonding thing; though Bella was not with us—for obvious reasons—she was still on the minds of each one of my family members minds.

"_I have treated Bella rather poorly, Esme is right"_ Rosalie sighed mentally _"It's not her fault she is human, and it rather unfair I have been angry with her for it. Terrified…I didn't know it was that bad."_ Drowning in regret, Rosalie hunted farther away from Jasper, so he could not pick up on her feelings.

"_Some big brother I am; constantly laughing at Bella when she has fallen or trips."_ Emmett was currently taking his personal frustrations out on an unsuspecting male grizzly. _"What is she had hurt herself; I would have laughed at that too—not because it would have been funny…just because it's so Bella—I need to be a better brother to her, show her that I can be serious too. Edward would never forgive me if she hurt herself and all I did was laugh at her."_

'Damn straight' I thought suddenly furious at the thought of Emmett doing nothing if Bella was injured. I would never forgive him for that; Bella would be mortified beyond belief.

"_I get to spend time with Bella!"_ Jasper thought happily, he was nearly elated when I told him, I trusted him enough to be around Bella, using his own judgment. _"I can't let anyone down, I must be strong; I could ask Carlisle to work on my bloodlust with me, he would be willing to help me. I am sure if I asked Edward, he would help me too; I can never even come close to anything near Bella's birthday party; everyone would be so disappointed…not to mention, Edward would never trust me again."_

'Not at all true' I thought, sending a small wave of trust and understanding towards Jasper; I glanced over to see a small smile of thanks on his face. It made me feel good to let this come to pass; and Bella would be pleased to spend time with Jasper as well.

Focusing on Alice's thoughts; she was the most frustrated with her new limits.

"_What am I going to do with Bella now? Everything Bella does is boring; all she wants to do is read or hang out with Edward all the time. Not to say that I don't like hanging out with Edward, cause I do. I can't cook; we don't even have anything in common. All I know is shopping. I don't think I force her into every shopping trip or make over; Bella always complies with me."_

I was to say the least unimpressed with Alice; she knew deep down that Bella hated shopping, and make overs. Bella nearly died when Alice came near her hair with black hair dye last month, I had to fight with Alice, for ten minutes before she finally gave up.

Searching the future with deadly speed, Alice was trying to find something she could do with Bella that didn't include shopping or makeovers, nothing caught her interest enough to try. I was highly disappointed.

"_My poor baby Bella, how could I have let this happen?"_ Esme was disgruntled with herself, for not catching everything that came Bella's way; for not protecting her youngest child, the way a mother should. _"Terrified of Rosalie, Emmett constantly laughing at her, Alice forcing her to do makeover and shop like a tiny doll; I should be more of a mother to her. Maybe that is where I went wrong; but Edward says she doesn't like to be mothered. Maybe if I talk with Edward, he could shed some light on the subject."_

It was a conversation I was looking forward to having with Esme; if she tried too hard, Bella would recoil and become more distant towards Esme. Thus hurting Esme even more than she was now; I couldn't—I wouldn't—have Esme feeling that way.

And last but not least was Carlisle.

"_How could I let everything get so out of hand; I have failed Edward and Bella again—more so Bella than anyone. Terrified of Rosalie, I will not have Bella afraid of anyone in my family; she should feel safe in her home!"_ Carlisle was taking this just as hard as Esme was. _"I should not have let Edward leave, and I should have taken the roll of a father; I let Edward protect her, I didn't do my job as a father figure to protect her. What kind of father am I? I am nearly five hundred years old, a father for nearly a hundred years, and a doctor for three hundred years…what am I to do now?" _

I would make sure to pull Carlisle aside as well and have a little chat with him. It had nothing to do with 'not being a father figure' or 'a leader' it was just the way Bella was, because of the way she was raised. I honestly think that if Carlisle and Esme started becoming more paternal towards Bella, she would come to be even more uncomfortable around them.

Bella raised Renee along with herself in the process; Bella doesn't see parents as parents, she sees them as people with a child were raised differently than she was, she sees it as the upbringing that she never had and does not understand.

Caught off guard by a high pitch squeal from Alice, I nearly fell out of the tree branch I was perched on; scanning her thoughts for any signs of danger; I found nothing out of the ordinary.

"Bella is on her way home; her flight lands in four hours; so much to do!" Alice flew past me delighted that her best friend was on her way home. Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie were hot on her heels, getting ready for Bella's arrival.

"No parties Alice!" I yelled after her; she was long gone out of hearing range, but I hoped that she saw what would happen if she did throw a party. Her entire wardrobe would go up in flames, along with her Porsche.

"You should probably hunt a little more before we head home Edward, Bella won't be home for another few hours." Emmett suggested "Besides, I would like to talk with you." Emmett sounded nervous; extremely rare for his personality. "Have a brother's only hunt, how knows how long until the next one will be."

Jasper was edging away from us, caught up in Emmett's emotions. I felt bad.

"Of course we can" I said smiling in reassurance "Esme will be happy to see us bonding." I added, catching Jasper's calming waves in the air. "I don't know if Bella will ever let me out of her sight again." I joked trying to ease the tension a little more for poor Jasper.

With the three of us running deeper into the woods and farther up the mountain, we chatted about where we thought Bella had gone for two days, who she had gone with and what would be waiting for us at home when she finally did return home.

I was just finishing off my third Elk of our hunt when Jasper's thoughts floated in my mind with happy news.

"_Edward, Alice called; Bella will be reaching the house in less than an hour, we are just about an hour away from the house. We will arrive at the same time; says Alice. Never bet against Alice."_

"Never bet against Alice" I agreed grinning. "Emmett home; Bella will be there when we arrive."

"Awesome! I missed the little squirt."

Keeping pace with Jasper and Emmett—for once—we ran home in a comfortable silence. I was excited and nervous, anxious, hopeful and jovial, all at once; but as we got closer to the house, I caught Bella's sweet delectable scent in the air. I breathed in the biggest lung full of air I could manage, letting it burn in the back of my throat.

God she smelled _so_ good. It felt wrong—painful—to let her scent leave my lungs, but as I got closer to the house, her scent grew more potent, more painful and completely blissful on the back of my throat.

Jumping the river bank behind Jasper and Emmett, I needed to fill my senses with as much as Bella's scent as I possibly could; I had missed it much more than I had originally thought. Bursting through the trees, my vision was overwhelmed by a beautifully dark haired beauty, her back turned to me. Bella was in a tight dress, looking exquisitely, painfully, and delectably sinful. My instincts shrieked at me to rip it off her body and claim her as mine, over and over again; I could only imagine what was waiting for me underneath that dress.

Everyone was welcoming Bella home, waiting for me; and like a man finding a drinking fountain in the middle of the Sahara desert I heard her speak, for the first time, in what seemed like forever.

"Where is Edward…is he" Bella trailed off with a little catch of sadness in her tone.

It made me ache to comfort her, to make the hurt and pain dissolve from every part of her body, mind and soul; I had to make myself be known to her.

"Bella"

Bella whirled around with a speed I hadn't known her to possess—Carlisle was right, I had under estimated her greatly. I inched towards her slowly, terrified that she would disappear before my very eyes, if I moved too quickly; I was petrified of my angel growing wings, taking off towards the heaven—a place I would forever be barred from—standing only a foot away from her, my arms ached to encircle her body and hold her to me.

I scarcely heard Carlisle usher everyone inside the house, I was hardly conscious of my surroundings; all that mattered to me was that Bella was once again within my grasp.

A rather uncomfortable silence hung in the air around us; I had mapped out ever apology in my mind over a hundred times, but my mind had gone total y and utterly blank; scrambling to think of something to say to her, without just saying' I'm Sorry' Bella's quiet voice rang in my ears like a sweet melody of music; more beautiful than anything I could ever to compose in my entire existence.

With a very unsure tone—not one I was accustomed to—Bella started talking. I focused myself to pay attention to her, rather than have my thoughts trail away on what was under her dress, or how beautiful she was, how beautiful her voice was.

"What happened between us…it won't…just evaporate and go away, and I don't want it too."

Had I heard her right? Bella didn't want the pain to go away; how much damage had I caused her?

"I came to the conclusion that maybe you were right…and I was wrong. I was being selfish."

Selfish? Bella was the most selfless person I had ever known to exist. I was so very confused; I was never right about anything when it came to her. Bella was always right about…everything!

"I meant maybe it was wrong of me to stay here for a week…when you told me to leave; all I wanted was to understand. If I had listened to you…instead of being so stubborn, then…maybe, we wouldn't be in the mess were in now." Bella clarified.

What! Stubborn…I had been the one that had been cruel to her, I was the one who shut her out time and time again, and I was the selfish one. It made no sense coming from her lips; I hated myself even more than before. Bella blamed herself for everything, and it wasn't right. I wanted to rip my hair out by the roots, screaming in agony, I wanted to feel the fires of hell burn my flesh, for making an angel suffer so horribly.

I was lower than a monster, I was nothing; with everything sitting in front of me.

"Bella…" I wanted to tell how backwards she had everything, how impossible everything seemed in her view of things.

"Please let me finish." She pleaded with me; I could do that, after everything I had done to her…even if it was backwards. "Everyone told me that, I was helping you by staying, but I think they were wrong; you didn't need me."

No weapon ever created, could have spliced through me like her words had. I had needed her; desperately, selfishly, greedily—more than she could have ever known—but she would never have known, because the words had on no occasion left my lips. I wondered how I had stayed still long enough to let her keep spewing these horrible lies about herself; if I could have cried, I would be sobbing like a little baby.

"You didn't need me to get you through this…this…part of your life; and all I want is to understand why, why didn't you need me?"

But I did need you, I was afraid of hurting you in the worst way; I was frightened of letting you in.

"I need to know Edward, is there a part in your life that I am not able to fulfill for you? Is there something I am not able to give you? I'm only human Edward…and I can try to understand or help or move out of your way unless you tell me too. So please…is there a part of me that isn't enough for you?"

Yes, yes, yes; my mind screamed at her words. I was in so much pain, my body physically ached; I was furious with the pain that held me in contempt of comforting my Bella. Petrified of not being able to control my almost uncontrollable rage around Bella, I continued to hold my ground; willing myself to stand stock still—silently begging Bella not to come near me, in fear of hurting her. The two emotions colliding inside me caused the same amount of pain my body was in.

"Am I enough for you Edward?" Bella asked again, tears spilling silently down her flush cheeks.

How had I let things get this bad? Why could I have not admitted my weaknesses to her—to myself? I was a smug, arrogant, selfish prick.

Stupidly I shook my head in disgust at myself, shutting my eyes, not waiting to brand the look of shame, regret, pain and sadness Bella's features were etched in.

What caught my attention was Bella's tormented shriek of agony—Bella had taken my head gesture as confirmation—my eyes snapped open at the sight of Bella crumbling to the ground in what could only be heart break. Willing myself to move from my position, I flew towards her missing her body as it hit the ground with a hard 'thud' in my ears.

Once again my Bella had come to be broken.

Author's Note:  Part two as promised! I have decided to keep the next few chapters Bella and Edward only. But not to fear, I will add more character POV's eventually. Please do look for up and coming lemons in very near chapters. And please, please, please give me those much loved reviews!


	25. Missing Chapter Details Inside

Author's Note: I am so, so, so, so sorry everyone! I can't believe that I missed putting this chapter in! The story barely makes any sense without it. I feel sooooo badly about this. I am freaking out! OMG! I sincerly apologize for missing this chapter! Also, if there are any spelling or punctuation errors I am sorry. As soon as I realized I had missed this chapter I put it up...so it has not been beta'ed.

Again...I am so, so, so sorry!

LouLouCullen:)

* * *

><p>I Do Not Own Anything Twilight<p>

Bella's Point Of View

Chapter 25

Part 2 (Missing Chapter...Please Read!)

Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you, fool me a third time and nothing will ever be right again.

Slumping to the ground in agony, I wailed as my heart broke for a fourth time; I should have known—secretly, I think I did, I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I knew no matter how much I loved him; nothing would ever be right again. No matter how many times I would forgive him, he would always hurt me, break promises, shut me out and run away.

A deep part of me, knew that this was what life was going to be like for the rest of my limitless existence—if I chose that life; the other half of me wanted to wash my hands of him, his family and never look back.

Marriage or heartbreak, hell for eternity, or hell for the next sixty or seventy years; there was only one way to end this pain.

I had to be strong, I had to leave and never return; I needed to be free of the mythical world…forever.

I saw Edward's long white pale fingers brush my arms as I slipped through his fingers—Edward let me fall, again—but I dare not let him pick me back up again. Shutting off my emotions to gain control over myself, I jerked away from his hands, pushing his hands away; wordlessly I scrambled to my feet, backing away from his now frozen form.

He was so beautiful it hurt to look away—but I had too—I had no choice but to look away and never look back.

"Bella" His agonized voice whispered brokenly; his eyes screaming at me to forgive him.

But it was too late this time.

"Good-bye Edward" I whispered back brokenly, tears were burning in my eyes; but I dare not shed one last single tear for him. Gathering my strength, I turned away from him; I left him standing alone in the back yard.

"Please Bella…" Carlisle's broken voice came from behind me.

"Please what, Carlisle?" I hissed furiously turning to face him. "Please stay, please don't rip my family apart; please don't break Esme's heart? Which one is it?"

Shock flitted across his face; pain shrieked silently in his ageless golden eyes, Carlisle's posture gave away his aching body. "I…I just wanted to be able to say good-bye to you."

I laughed once without humor, "Right…I was so thoughtless to not say good-bye to you; but as I recall…you all left me without a word. So please tell me how that grant's you any kind of special requirements."

The rest of the family had trickled into the room silently with pained looks on their faces; I must admit that it did hurt a whole hell of a lot to hurt them, but no one ever suffered as much as I had.

"You did nothing!" I shrieked at him "You let him stay in his room, and cause everyone misery, you let him hurt me again! You failed to keep me from harm. All any of you do is fail me, and I am so tired of it. I don't want to live in a family that causes me nothing but broken promises, lies, pain and deceit."

Edward had darted into the house, keeping his distance, his eyes burning a hole in my head; he was concentrating on me, he was waiting for an opening to speak to me—I wasn't going to give him one.

"I am done; I am tired of being everyone's god damn door mat, I am tired of being a living breathing Barbie doll, I am tired of being hated for reasons beyond my control, I am tired of being laughed at constantly, I am tired of being lied to and manipulated. I am tired of crying…I am just so tired."

To my utter amazement, the words leaving my lips were calmer than I expected them to be; I was sure to be screaming and yelling by now—to be honest, I don't think I had it in me anymore.

"I am tired of being so selfless. I want to be happy, I want to loved, I want to be wanted, I want so much…and no one ever seems to give me what I want. I want just once…just once in my life, to be all of those things at one time, in my life. I have lived eighteen years, and yet I feel so old. My body is tired, my heart is aching and tried, my mind is exhausted, I don't have what it takes anymore to do this over and over again Carlisle…I just don't."

Without warning Rosalie's delicate wind chimed voice said three words, I had never in my life thought she would ever say to me. "I'm sorry Bella."

I stood stalk still, shocked into speechlessness.

"I am so sorry, I was so cruel to you; you never deserved it. You will never know how sorry I will be or how utterly guilty I will feel for the rest of my existence, if you walk out that door, never to return."

"I am sorry to Bella." Emmett's low bass voice traveled guiltily across the room towards me. "I never should have treated you as a joke, I never should have laughed at you when you fell or tripped. I should have been the big brother you never had, that was supposed to pick you up and dust you off. I treated you as a source of entertainment—a show—and you will never know how sorry I am or how guilty I will feel if you walk out that door."

"I am sorry too Bella" Alice's little pixy voice shimmered in the air like bells during a winter wonderland song. "I never should have made you go shopping, or forced things on you that you didn't want; I am sorry, I never listened to your pleas, when you begged me to stop. I am sorry for treating you like a doll, when I should have respected and treated you as a human being. I am sorry for not being the best friend and sister that you deserve to have."

"I am sorry too Bella" Esme's motherly broken voice cracked on nearly every word. "I am sorry for not being the mother you deserved, I am sorry I didn't fight hard enough for you, I am sorry I put all of my other children before you; and I am ashamed to admit I am willing to beg you for the rest of my existence for you not to walk out that door. I could not bear to lose another child, Bella; and I know it's selfish and wrong of me, but I am mother, and I will fight for you stay.

"I am sorry to Bella" Jasper's baritone voice echoed throughout the room. "I am sorry that I never really got the chance to get to know you, I am sorry I never got to share my stories with you, or accompany you to places you wanted to go. I am sorry for not trusting myself enough to be around you; I let my fear rule me, and now I may never get the chance. So I am asking you please…don't walk out that door."

"You never deserved any of this Bella" Carlisle said taking a step towards me; I held my place. "You never deserved the mistrust, the lies, being misjudged; you never deserved any of the pain we put you through. You walked into our lives with nothing but love, trust and understanding; and not one ounce of that has ever returned to you—asides from the love, we have always loved you. You kept our secret out of love when we betrayed you; you kept us in such high regards when all we did was hurt you. I have never met—in all of my centuries—someone so brave, so strong and courageous. I have never met anyone so selfless and trusting, someone so fiercely loyal and loving. You are the human daughter, I never thought, I would ever have; you are the miracle that fell into my son's life and broke him out of his shell, and I will never be able to show you nor tell you how grateful I am."

Shocked and amazed; I never thought I would be any of those things to anyone. I didn't know I was so appreciated before.

"I can't fathom what would become of us, if you walked out that door, never to return. I am just as selfish as Esme; I will do whatever I have to, to make things right with you. If I have to wait a hundred years or a thousand to gain your forgiveness, I will. You can't know how you have changed all of our lives for the better; then again, none of us ever explained it to you; we kept you in the dark to protect you. And now that it is all falling down around us and you are only person able to stop it; we were all wrong to keep you in the dark Bella, and I swear to you, it will never happen again, if you don't walk out that door."

"And what if 'sorry' isn't enough anymore; I have heard 'Bella I am so sorry' more than 'Bella, I love you.' Do you know how impossibly sad that is?"

"Bella"

"No, Edward…just stop" I snapped "I don't want to hear 'Bella, I am sorry' I don't want any more promises, I don't want any more half-truths or lies. I want the man who I fell in love with, I want the man I love, to want me the same way I crave and desire him. I don't want any stupid compromise to get married, I don't want to be given things, I don't want. I don't want expensive gifts or cars or clothes or jewelry, I don't need a cruise around the world for me to know that you love me. All I have ever wanted was just you; you are enough for me, you have always been enough for me."

I wanted so badly for him to wrap me in his arms and kiss me until the room was spinning; but I couldn't do that anymore—he was no longer mine.

"You never seemed to understand that. I hate being the center of attention for a reason, I have built walls around me for my own protection; I grew up in the middle of a custody battle between my parents, I grew up with lawyers asking me questions about my parents, I grew up with each parent trying to by my love, to choose a side; I was fought over my whole entire life. I grew up with a mother who needed a parent, I grew up without a father—Charlie may love me; but he didn't love me enough to move closer to me, he didn't love me enough to come out to see me more than once a year."

I was fighting to keep the tears at bay, but I could not keep my voice from betraying my emotions.

"And then I met you; and you turned my life upside down. You promised to love me, you promised to protect me, you promised me never to hurt me; you begged me to let you into my every thought and memory I could remember…and what did I get in return?"

"Nothing" he whispered brokenly. "Lies, betrayal, under estimation, misjudged and mistrust. Everything you have ever asked for, I have denied you, and everything you never wanted, you received. You risked your life by flying half way around the world to stop me from making one of the biggest mistakes in my existence; you loved me, even when I pushed you away. All you have ever done is love me, accept me and trust me; and I have done nothing for you in return. All I have ever done is hurt you…countless times. And I know, no matter what I do or say to get you to stay or to forgive me, it will never be enough."

"You are the dumbest jackass I have ever met!" I screeched "I just told you, you are more than enough for me! You are all I have ever wanted, you are all I will ever desire, you are all I will ever crave, and you are all I will ever want! You…..were…the…only…thing…I…wanted!"

I had to work to get myself to calm down, or I was never going to make it through this conversation, without throwing a temper tantrum.

"As far as I am concerned the wedding is cancelled, we need time apart; you need to get your fucking act together, before I can even thinking about committing myself to you…in any way. My house is off limits to all of you, I am off limits to all of you, and my future is none of your business, my life is none of your business until I say it is. My life is my own, and it will stay that way…until I say so. If you feel the need to protect me, then do so only if I am truly in danger; I will fall down, I will trip, I will bruise and bleed, and I will break. I have never needed a man to help me off my feet, and I am sure the hell not going to give into one now. The people I choose to hang out and keep in my life is also none of your business; so if I all of a sudden decided to whore myself out…it doesn't concern any of you—highly doubtful that would ever happen, but that is for me to decide. Am I at all making myself unclear? Am I at all going to have my wishes disrespected?

"Of course not Bella" Carlisle said hurriedly "every one of us, must earn back your trust back, and not one of us will do anything to jeopardize that gift."

Of course everyone agreed with him; I held all of the cards now, and I would use them to my advantage.

"You will never know how much it pains me to do this" I whispered "You have no idea how little this is hurting you, and much it is killing me inside. Maybe in time, we can be a family again…but then again; I never really fit into that category…did I?"

I didn't give any of them time to reply; I walked out the front door and I didn't look back.

Would I ever return to the Cullen's; I had no idea. But I did know that I had to be strong.


	26. Chapter 26

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Chapter 26

Edward's Point Of View

Gone, my Bella was gone; the wedding cancelled, our relationship laid in shredded taters at my feet; me with broken bloody fingers, unable to pick up the pieces to put them back together.

No one moved from their positions all night; we all hoped in vein that Bella would change her mind, come bursting through the front door at any moment—she never did. Carlisle called the hospital in the early morning hours to book two months off work for personal reasons; Esme also called the restoration house to notify them that she would be unable to come in for some months to come.

Distraught parents, grieving siblings, and a hurting human child would the pain ever end?

Esme and Carlisle flew to their room to grieve privately, Jasper and Alice cowered alone in the darkest corner of the basement, Rosalie and Emmett retreated to the living room to cuddle together on the couch; I didn't dare move—if I did move, the first place I would go was to Bella's or any place she was, to find her.

I was willing to do anything to gain her back; I would beg on my knees for days, months and years, if I had too. I would light myself on fire; let the flames eat away at me, until I was begging for Bella to put them out. If it were at all possible, I would go through another vampire conversion, burn flameless for three days; waiting for the pain to subside to be with my Bella again. Deep inside me, I knew none of those things would ever happen; Bella would never ask any of those things of me, nor would she allow me to stoop such levels—I was willing to do all this and more.

But I made a promise not to follow; let her lead her own life.

The irony was not lost to me; all I ever wanted when I left was for Bella to live out her life as a human. And now here I stand, for who knows how long to grieve the girl—the woman—that left my house, to get away from me, because I wasn't making her happy; because all I ever did was lie to her, cause her pain.

It made me wonder what Bella walked out the front door; was it angry and spiteful Bella, or was is it unloved, misjudged and mistrusted Bella. Did the Bella I fell in love, even enter the house after being away for two days? What was she doing now, did Charlie know what was going on—I ached with every fiber of my being to seek out Alice, to get her to search the future for Bella, to ask her to check in on her; but I could not, it was just another promise I had made to Bella—would Bella ever return to us again?

Hours turned into days and days turned into weeks, weeks into a month; no one ever did anything, no one talked to each other; we hunted together, utterly silent, just to return home to retreat to our confined spaces. The light of our lives had disappeared, the heart and soul of our family was nowhere to be found or heard of; three months and no phone calls, no letters or emails, no knocks on the door and no sound of a heartbeat.

Esme and Carlisle, finally coaxed me out of my statue of pain; claiming that Bella would be disappointed, if I didn't do anything to better myself. I did need to better myself; I needed to be the man Bella deserved—not the monster she had walked away from. I flew up to my room, locking myself away from the world, desperately trying to think of a way improve what I already was. How I was going to accomplish that was a mystery to me; I needed help.

Seeking out my brothers and father, I asked them to accompany me on a male bonding hunt; let the girls have time with one another. I knew this would be particularly hard on Alice; she understood my needs and encouraged and supported any way she could.

"So what's with the all-male hunt?" Emmett asked running alongside me; trying to figure out my motives, for asking them all of a sudden. He was hopeful for the most part, which helped me quite a bit.

"I asked you to come, because I need your help; all three of you." I admitted, feeling slightly embarrassed; Jasper sent me a dose of confidence, and I nodded to him in thanks. "I need to become...better...for Bella."

"You really don't listen to her, do you?" Jasper snorted, much to my surprise "All you have ever had to do was love her, Edward. All she has ever asked for was, for you to love her."

Both Carlisle and Emmett nodded in agreement.

"Stop trying to figure her out all the time; her mind is silent for a reason—what that reason is, we may never know—stop trying so hard to read her, and start loving her; and just for the record...smothering her by being so over protective all the time, isn't helping your case either."

"Jasper is right" Carlisle agreed "you rely on your gift too much; though it is a constant thing. Have you ever just enjoyed being alone with Bella, surrounded by nothing but silence; have you considered that it might be a gift rather than a curse, Edward?"

I had never looked it like that before; I always thought it was some fucked up way of the world. That some comical joke had been pulled on me; that fate was waiting for me to screw things up and kill her myself. It would have been my given karma for all of the lives I had taken in my human hunting days.

"No, I had not thought of it that way" I admitted feeling sheepishly; I could feel my face turned down, into a frown. "I always thought of it as some reckless angel throwing Bella in my path, just waiting for things to go wrong; waiting for me to kill her myself."

"You can't be serious!" Emmett snapped furious "No wonder why she left you; you are even more of an idiot then I ever gave you credit for!" I recoiled; hurt by his words. "Edward...for someone that can read minds, you are so incredibly stupid; love is a gift! A very rare and permanent gift—to our kind especially—and you are, just letting it slip through your fingers."

"I am not throwing anything away!" I retorted angrily.

"By not giving Bella what she wants...can you imagine what the house would be like on a constant basis if we only gave our wives only half of what they asked for?"

"World war three" Jasper mumbled under his breath "on a daily basis; you could say goodbye to having sex and hello to the dog house." All three of them shuddered, picturing different scenarios in their minds; it was my turn to shudder.

Each of them gave me advice: Stop over protecting Bella so much, give in to her demands to become immortal, push our boundaries on an intimate level, I needed to learn how to swallow my pride, also learn how to let Bella in; how to stop shutting her out, no matter what the reason was—Bella was my mate, and I needed to start treating her as such.

It had been a week since then; I worked with my sisters and mother as well; gaining as much information as I could possibly retain in such a short amount of time. We had no idea when or if Bella would ever return to us; we all hoped she would come back to us.

It was exactly twelve hours until, I was supposed to be getting married to the most perfect, beyond beautiful, loving, caring, trusting and selfless woman in the world—my world—but alas I had driven her away.

Then at nine in the morning on August thirteenth a black, sleek SUV pulled into the driveway, a shadow of a woman was hidden behind darkly tinted windows—dare I hope it to be my Bella—darting down the stairs to the front foyer, I was suddenly hit with the most beautiful heart beat I had ever come to know.

"Bella" I whispered relieved that she had finally come home to see us—I would dare not think that she would stay or even forgive us for what we had ever put her though—l hoped she would stay.

Unable to rein in our excitement and relief we rushed outside to the front porch.

Shock, disbelief, relief, and so many other emotions flitted through all our thoughts; but nothing was more shocking than the dark haired beauty that exited the SUV.

Sheathed in skin tight dark wash jeans with gold stitching, a dark pink satin top, and heeled boots, that looked to be over three hundred dollars in price, Bella shut her car door.

Something was different about her; her posture was more confident, and more mature, she looked the same and smelled the same—a sweet torture, a blissful torture.

And of course Emmett had to do the most inappropriate thing and 'wolf whistled' at Bella. "Damn Bella, I don't ever remember you being this hot before; I bet you are beating them off with sticks!"

"Sticks break" Bella laughed "Baseball bats work so much better; hurt more too."

"Ha, the woman gained a sense of humor; hell has frozen over!" Emmett barked running off the porch towards Bella. Capturing in his huge arms, he spun Bella around in a circle and kissed her cheek. "I've never noticed what Edward was talking about until now."

"Huh?"

"Your heartbeat Bella" Emmett admitted sheepishly "I didn't ever think I would have missed as much as I have."

What Emmett said was true; but no one missed it more than I had. It was like the most beautiful symphony of musical notes ever created.

"Awww…I missed you too Emmett, so much; and if you really missed me that much….I guess I could hang around through a couple of centuries."

Centuries? Did I hear her right? Bella was coming home; Bella was going to forgive us—forgive me—my heart felt like it had begun to beat in my chest. I was so happy, I could have cried; if it was at all possible.

Walking hand in hand Bella and Emmett reached the porch; Esme threw her arms around Bella sobbing with joy.

"I missed you to momma, more than you will ever know; I'm so sorry I had to leave you for long, but I needed the time away."

"No!" Carlisle hissed furious "You have nothing to apologize for Bella." Carlisle was not going to have Bella apologize for something that wasn't her fault. "Now, that is out of the way, if Bella has time; we should catch up in the living room." Carlisle was eager to have his newest daughter finally home, but did not dare hope to think that things had changed too much.

"I wouldn't be here, if I didn't have the time" Bella said, wiggling her way out of Esme's still sobbing frame "I do need to be able to move momma; some of us can't stand still forever." Bella chuckled.

Esme had a hard time letting go; Esme kept Bella's hand in her own, as we all made our way to the living room. Esme wasn't going to let Bella go, for anything.

"So…"Alice started "What have you been up to these days?" Alice was itching for new information on her best friend.

I didn't dare get too close to Bella; I would die even more if she shoved me away from her again. It was hard enough to not throw myself at her feet and beg her to take me back, forgive everything I had ever done to her.

"Well, I just moved back to Forks, yesterday" Bella's voice floated towards me like the most beautiful musical composition I had ever heard. "I moved to Jacksonville after that day; I needed time with my mom. I wanted to work on me; so I started to go to a therapist." Bella admitted smiling slightly; so beautiful, my heart nearly broke; she was so beautiful when she smiled like that.

"Therapist?" Jasper echoed.

"Yeah, I needed to work on some thing's that had been bothering me over the years. I needed to work though my trust issues, my parental issues and so much more; long story short, I can now accept gifts." She chuckled pointing to the SUV thought the window "My mom and Phil bought it for me, and I love it…so much; it's exactly what I need for my life."

Bella needed an SUV? Bella accepted extravagant gifts? My hopes sky rocketed three fold; then like a bird getting caught in the turbine engine, I remembered all of the things I had learned over the last three months. Bella had to be willing to accept these gifts—not have them shoved on her; unwantedly.

"I started getting more active, I got over my balance issues—hence I am now able to wear heels—I took yoga, learned how to rock climb, go skydiving" Bella glanced at me when she said 'skydiving'; most likely waiting for me to freak out and scold her for doing something so reckless. "And scuba dive. I did so much while I was away…but I couldn't stay away any longer; I missed home too much, I missed my old life, and Charlie. Poor guy nearly locked me in the basement when I walked in the front door."

"You have been busy" Carlisle laughed, ecstatic his daughter was finally at peace with herself. "I am glad you came home, we missed you."

"I missed you guys too. It was one of the main reasons I came home; my therapist told me I needed to work on my family relationships—both with Charlie and all of you—I need to work on getting my personal and loving relationship with Edward worked out...slowly. He told me that he noticed a pattern in my life; I took big leaps to close gigantic gaps in my life. That getting married so young was the only way to ensure what I thought would help me get over my trust issues—issues I didn't even knew I had, by the second session I had a total emotional breakdown. I went back to my mom's place, locked myself in my old room and cried for three days straight."

"I—we—are willing to do whatever it takes to earn your trust and love back Bella." I said speaking for the first time since Bella had arrived. "I can't lose you again; no matter what way you chose to have in."

"Love was never the problem Edward; I have always known that you have loved me, even when I wouldn't let myself believe it. I admit, I was angry and confused; but now we can work on things together. No more secrets, no more lies or half-truths, and no more keeping me in the dark; I can make my own choices. I'm a big girl. And...I am willing to talk about marriage and a life of eternity—but I am not rushing into anything anymore. We also need to work on our physical relationship, no more trying to over protect me; find a way to be with me. I don't care what we have to do. I want to give you all of me, in every way humanly possible—impossible is not a word I count in my life anymore."

"I just noticed" Rosalie said, speaking for the first time "you haven't blushed once; you actually talked about sex and didn't blush!"

"Oh…yeah; I worked on that too with my therapist. It was a product of my insecurities, and since I have managed to overcome most of those obstacles, I don't blush as often as I used to—which is really nice."

I saw a quick flash of Alice's sudden vision; Bella and Alice were shopping, in Seattle, Bella actually looked like she was having fun.

"Were going shopping!" Alice screeched happily "you like shopping now. Hell has frozen over, Bella Swan, wants to go shopping!" Rushing to Bella's side; Alice threw herself lap, hugging her. "I missed you so much Bella."

"I missed you too Alice" Bella chuckled kissing Alice on the cheek "Tomorrow, if you want to…I mean if you don't…"

"Yes" Alice shouted "Yes, yes, yes and more yes…I haven't been shopping with you in ages. I am so happy to have my best friend back."

"Good, because Edward is coming too; I don't think I could be away from him any longer than I already have." Bella said smiling at me.

I nearly exploded with happiness. Bella wanted me, she loved me, she was still willing to get married and spend eternity with me; Bella wanted to have a physical relationship with me.

Unable to keep myself planted in my seat anymore, I flew across the room to kneel in front of Bella, ever so gently took her hands in mine; so warm, so soft; I was home again, I was alive again.

"Bella…my Bella; I don't know what I did in this life or my last life to deserve you, but I swear to you, I will be the man you deserve to have. I will wait five hundred years if I have to; to marry you. I will do whatever it takes, be whatever you need me to be."

Bella placed her tiny hand on my cheek for the first time. Bliss and warmth spread through my body like a wild fire. "All I have ever needed Edward, is for you to be you." I choked back the sob in my throat.

"May I kiss you Bella?"

"God, yes."

Remembering to gauge my actions to not hurt her, I pressed my lips to hers. The familiar burn flashed down my throat—I ignored it completely; I barley even noticed it anymore—Bella's soft warm skin, sent my cold marble skin aflame. The electric energy between us flickered, sending massive jolts to the very core of my body; it curled in the pit of my stomach and spread thought my body, warming me.

Breaking away from her lips unwillingly, I was panting with relief; taking one of her arms I ran my nose up across her tiny wrist, inhaling deeply. "You smell as intoxicating luscious as I remember; no memory could do it justice."

"I know the feeling" Bella mumbled into the crook of my neck; my family had vacated the room, to give us some much needed privacy. "I missed you so much, so much it hurt—the pain was worth it." Pulling away gazing into my eyes Bella laid her hand on my cheek. "I need speak with Carlisle, Edward; there are things we need to discuss in private."

"Of course Bella" I said crushing her gently to my chest; my words and my actions were contradicting one another—I knew Bella needed to leave my arms, but my body was struggling to let her go. "Carlisle missed you more than you know; he was just as broken up about you leaving, as he was, when I decided to leave him for a while, and you were only gone for three months. I was gone for a decade. Don't be too hard on him love."

It took every fiber of my being to plaster a serene smile on my face, and let Bella walk away from me; but I did it—I did it for her; always for her.

Author's Note: Hey all! Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. I will have the next one up as soon as I can. I would like to acknowledge my wonderful Beta for this story **xXxHalfBlood PrincessxXx. **Please give her a warm welcome! Please review, review, review...let myself and **xXxHalfBlood PrincessxXx **what you think!


	27. Chapter 27

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Bella's Point Of View

Chapter 27

As much as I needed and wanted to be alone with Edward, I needed to speak with Carlisle; we needed to work on our own issues as much as Edward and I needed to work on our relationship issues.

I met Carlisle by the front door. "Let's go for a drive" I suggested walking out the front door towards my SUV "We need to work some things out."

"Of course Bella, anything you need." Carlisle kept pace beside me, walking around to the passenger side gently closing his door behind him "This is a beautiful car Bella." He said glancing at me as I drove down the long drive to the main road.

"Thanks, I am just as surprised as anyone else that it's mine." I was still not too sure some days if this car was really and truly mine. "Are you up for a walk? There is a trail, I like to take sometimes when I need to think, clear my mind. Edward doesn't know about it yet; he would never let me go off on my own before. So I keep it to myself."

"Sure" He agreed.

I drove the opposite way out of town, farther into the dense less populated area of Forks, almost near the treaty line—not far enough to come close to it though—I came to a stop, pulling over under a canopy of giant Evergreens. "Just let me change my shoes; I may be able to walk in heels now, even I don't have that much balance yet; I have a pair of shoes underneath your seat." I chuckled swapping my boots for my favorite pair of running shoes; they helped tone my legs and ass as I walked—best shoes ever—we took off North into the green cover of trees to a familiar little trail.

"Take your time Bella; we have quite a few daylight hours left." Carlisle said gently; he was being as cautious. He knew I could up and walk away at any moment in time—that petrified him.

"Why" I asked him once we had been walking in silence for a few minutes "Why do you always let him have his way; when you know it hurts people? I thought you were the parent."

Carlisle sighed staring straight ahead; I had a feeling he couldn't look me in the eye—yet. "When Edward left all those years ago, after being with me for so long; when he came back, I swore to myself that I would never force him into anything ever again. I was terrified that if I pushed him too far, he would leave me again; he is my first born, my first favourite—next to Esme of course—I could not bear to lose him Bella. It would be like Esme deciding to leave me or worse; the pain would be unendurable."

I scoffed disgusted.

"So putting everyone else before him, including Esme, is the way to deal with him? Have you ever noticed that he acts and thinks exactly like the seventeen year old boy he is? I questioned calmly.

Together we walked through the forest, keeping pace with one another, talking about everything that I needed to get off my chest; answers I needed to know.

"Sometimes" he admitted finally "Other times I remember he is much older than seventeen Bella. Edward has his faults, along with his strengths."

"Exactly" I agreed instantly "he considers his gift his strength; but once his gift becomes inoperable, he gets scared and runs away; anything he can't control he runs away—you let him run away." I accused" Instead of teaching him how to handle things properly: My birthday party, going to Jacksonville when Victoria's army was hunting me down, his little slip up." I ranted angry. "You let him get away with too much; please don't think I am trying to say that you are a bad parent—because I'm not." I immediately reassured him. "Just handle things better is all."

"You're right though, I have slipped up through the last century; again Bella, I can't tell you how sorry I am for all the wrong you have accumulated from us over the years." Carlisle apologized again.

"I know you are dad" I saw Carlisle's face light up with joy when I called him 'dad' I could have sworn his footfalls became even lighter—I didn't think it was at all possible. "We just have to handle things day by day, work on things together."

He nodded smiling.

"We should head back" I said looking up at the sky through the high tree topped canopies "it's getting dark, and not all of us can see where we are going in the dark." I teased chuckling, nudging him in the arm; Carlisle chuckled right along with me for a moment, his expression turned thoughtful for a moment.

"I was wondering Bella" He paused glancing at me "If you would like me to carry you on my back the rest of the way."

I balked at him, shocked.

"Of course, it was only a suggestion." He said quickly trying to cover his tracks; I could only imagine what my face looked like to him.

I couldn't help but laugh at the way he was so much like Edward—or rather the other way around—I was caught up in a memory of Edward and I having a similar conversation months ago.

"No, it's fine, really" I assured him still chucking to myself "now I know where Edward gets it from." Confusion flashed in his eyes; I felt the need to elaborate. "It's just the way you two are so gentlemanly in almost the same way; like father, like son."

Carlisle chuckled right along with me now "At least I did something right."

That sobered me up instantly; I felt guilty and ashamed, trying to get Carlisle to see the wrong he had done in his parenting—well not wrong, just….I don't know…I doubt I knew anything now. Here I was giving the four hundred year old vampire parenting tips, when, I had only been giving so much time with Renee and no child of my own.

"You did a lot of things right Carlisle" I reassured him "And I am very much willing to let you carry back down to the car; it has to be like relearning to ride a bike right."

He snickered nodding, then proceeded to help me climb onto his back; we were at the car in mere seconds, compared to the three hours we walked the trail. Hopping off his back when we came to a standstill when we arrived at the car, I tossed him my keys.

"You can drive; I am too tired to drive."

Helping me into my seat before settling into the driver's seat; I was out like a light before he had turned the key in the ignition. It was most likely minutes later when I heard a very familiar velvet musical voice speak softly thought the haze of my sleep.

"Come my love, let's get you to bed." I felt Edward's comforting icy hands gently slide me from my seat into his arms. I almost zonked out before we made to the house; but I was determined to at least stay coherent enough until we got to his room.

"Stay, with me" I pleaded with him gently, tugging on his shirt to get him to stay with me. "Please, I need you."

"I will stay with you forever, my Bella" Was the last thing I heard before I couldn't keep myself awake any more, sinking into a deep sleep.

I slept soundly, peacefully; blissfully.

I felt so very content and comfortable when I stirred awake this morning; I could feel Edward's cold skin seeping through the covers, chilling my body. I shivered.

"Sorry" Edward murmured kissing the top of my head—of course he knew I was awake. "I didn't wake you did I?" Always worrying, "I didn't want you to get cold."

I couldn't help the giggle that bubbled up in my throat, bursting out my lips; I curled my body into his chest, unwilling to have any space between us—truly I had missed him more than any words could describe to him—his arms tightened around my waist, triggering a long dormant feeling inside me—at least it seemed like a long time. My heart stuttered in my chest before speeding up in pace.

"I like your cold; I always have." I blushed; for the first time I had been here—it wasn't out of embarrassment, it was out of love, I had never told him that before.

"Is that a blush, I see Ms. Swan" Edward chuckled teasing me, running a cold finger across my cheek bone "I have missed it so much."

"No" I mumbled turning an even deeper shade of scarlet. He was such a cheater.

"Still a horrible liar" He laughed. Childishly I stuck my tongue out at him.

I decided to change the subject, "So what are you going to buy me today; you are taking me shopping, after all." I heard Alice squeal in pure joy.

"Anything, your heart desires to have Bella" His voice was suddenly full of happiness and joy, I think I could detect a tiny bit of victory.

"And what If I desire to have you?" I blurted out suddenly, a light blush returning to my cheeks.

"You already have me Bella; never doubt that, I am yours for all eternity." He promised me instantly brushing his lips against mine; I needed and craved more…so much more, but I had to put a stop to this. I didn't come as far as I had in the short months I had to throw it away in the heat of passion.

"Well that is good to know" I teased pulling away from him slightly "now let's get ready to go; you and I both know Alice will break down the door if necessary."

Edward nodded in agreement, snickering staring towards the door. "Alice is driving poor Emmett crazy, bouncing around the house like a tiny tornado."

I laughed sliding off the bed, quickly glancing around the room; I had forgotten my luggage. "Edward, will you grab my suitcase out of my SUV; I can't wear the same outfit two days in a row." I added for Alice's benefit; I could Alice crying out in glee. "I don't know where Carlisle put my keys" I mused walking towards the ginormous stainless steel, glass and marble bathroom attached to Edward's room. "I am going for a shower."

Wordlessly Edward zipped out of the room to get my luggage, while I hopped into the shower; the familiar massaging shower head, begging me to take a long hot shower, but I knew if I took any more than twenty minutes, Alice would have a fit and bust down the door.

Exiting the bathroom, I found the bedroom empty, my suitcase waiting on the bed, promising me clean clothes. I looked forward to shocking Edward with my new found confidence; pairing a crisp white mini skirt with a deep blue fitted halter top, with a black mini half jacket and an electric yellow pair of stiletto heels. Satisfied with my outfit for the day, I quickly shook out my hair brushing the wet knots out of my hair. Turning to put my suitcase on the ground at the foot of the bed, I noticed a very familiar blue velvet satin jewelry box; ignoring it for the moment I left the room and made my way down stairs.

As soon as I opened Edward's bedroom door, I could smell Esme's famous cinnamon French toast with bacon; my stomach snarled in hunger. I drifted towards the mouth-watering scent, passing Rosalie on the way down the stairs, watching her mouth drop, her eyes bugging from her head; I put my pointer finger to my lips to shush her, 'I want to surprise him' I mouthed to her silently a smug smile on my face—never in my life, did I expect the ever so lovely Rosalie Hale to be bested for her beauty.

Nodding in understanding, she flitted up the stairs, out of view.

The clicking of my heels on the tiled floor, alerted Alice of my presence; her reaction was the same as Rosalie's, only much more verbal. "Holy shit; who are you and what in the hell did you do with my sister? You look...fantastic Bella." Alice gushed circling me until I was dizzy; I had to grip the banister to keep myself from stumbling backwards.

"I am still Bella...just a little different is all" I giggled at the still shocked expression on Alice's face. "Don't you like it?"

"Like, Bella; I couldn't have picked a better outfit for you! I love it; now go show Edward, he is talking with the boys in the living room." She demanded shoving me gently in the direction of the living room.

With a smug smile on my face, I let the' click' of my heels carry me forward to Edward. Priceless was the only words for the look on Edward's face; his strong hands gripped the arm chair he was sitting in, snap under the pressure. Edward's facial expression was the same as Alice and Rosalie's; only with one extra added feature—Desire—Edward's golden eyes smoldered with want and need. His mouth opened and closed at least three times, no sound ever escaped his lips.

"Thank-you; for grabbing my luggage" I giggled, at his shocked expression "I didn't get the chance...before you left the room." Leaving him wanting, I turned, walking off to the kitchen.

"Edward Cullen, speechless" I heard Jasper chuckle before I could make it out of earshot "I never thought I would see the day; Bella certainly manages to surprise us."

I ate in silence unable to keep the permanent smile off my face; Edward had still not joined me yet, still shell shocked, I guess. I thanked Esme for the wonderful breakfast, and then made my way back to the living room to retrieve Edward for the day.

Swinging my hips a little as I walked, I came to a dead stop in front of Edward, turned, and wiggled myself into his lap; his breathing ceased, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and a whimper escaped his lips.

"Does my outfit please you?" I asked innocently "you have not commented on it yet." I kept my voice light and teasing, trying desperately to ignore the desperate need to touch my warm lips to his cold ones.

"Yes" Edward choked out "it pleases me very much so, Bella."

"Good" I said trailing my pointer across his chest "Can we go shopping now? Victoria Secret just released their new bra and panties collection." I heard Edward swallow thickly "And I need your opinion...on colour, style, and shape."

"Shape?"

"Alice has secured us a private dressing room for a few hours today" I purred seductively in his ear "I want your eyes skimming over every inch of my body, while I try on the smallest lace panties to the most elaborate corset, I can get my hands on." I managed to stretch my body, angling myself so I could trail my tongue over Edward's smooth as glass lips.

A low deep growl built in Edward's chest, his hands gripping the chair's armrests' too tightly snapping again in his too strong grip.

"The next time you growl like that" I moaned grinding myself on his lap; his growl was pure electricity shooting to the very core of my body, warming me. "It better be when I am writhing underneath you, while I scream your name." I needed to leave him wanting again; so I hopped out of his lap. "Now let's go...I have some bra and panties to try on."

Wordlessly Edward followed me to the garage; I saw the shocked faces of his family looking at me. I ignored them, feeling Edward right behind me, I reached my hand behind me, and he took my hand. Alice was already in the car, in the backseat, waiting impatiently.

Like the perfect gentleman he is, Edward helped me into my seat, gently closing the door behind me. Faster than I had seen him move—in a while—Edward already had the car half way down the driveway, speeding towards the malls of Seattle.

Author's Note: So what do you guys think so far? I am really trying to keep Bella away from the original stereotype character. I wanted a strong confident Bella; someone to put Edward in his place, while still maintaining his dominant vampuric side. I would also like to thank my Beta for this story xXxMarauderettexXx. Without her my story would not be as great as it is!


	28. Chapter 28

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Chapter 28

Carlisle's Point Of View

As Bella, Edward and Alice sped off towards Seattle and most likely Portland, for the rest of the day; I sat in my office alone, I had asked Esme to leave me to my thoughts. I could not help the words and feeling tumbling around inside my heart and my mind.

_"Why"_ Bella pleaded with me; that one word was like a million questions, rolled together into one big ball of answers.

My excuse was one that I felt was justified—Edward. I could not live in a world where Edward did not; just as I would not be able to stomach the thought of a world without my Esme in it.

But now sitting alone; I could see how flawed my excuses and answers were. Was Bella not my daughter; just as much as Edward was my son—other than the obvious reasons; the fact that I made Edward, into what he is, how much I loved him. I loved him, just as desperately as I loved my beloved wife Esme—and just as I had done almost a year ago. I let Edward control the things around us, just so I would never have to lose him.

I groaned rubbing my temples with my fingers, playing back every time, I had ever been with Edward; it was much the same as it always was. Father and son, living and existing together; loving, laughing, hunting and so much more...Edward knew me better than I knew myself, better than Esme knew me, he knew every single one of our family members—aside from Bella of course; her strange and silent mind—better than they knew themselves, or their mates knew them.

Looking back on it now, I see how I had failed Bella so horribly; twice—once when Edward asked us to leave Bella behind, to let her live out her life as a human and again when I had let Edward sit up in his room and drown himself in his dark thoughts and self-loathing nature.

I had failed to be the father that Bella so desperately needed; though her own father was alive and loved her to no boundaries. I was the father that Bella desperately craved to have in her life. Not the father that paid little to no attention to his daughter; sports, fishing and work consumed him, coupled along with his desire to be with his friends. Yes, he loved his daughter, but his fickle human emotions embarrassed him, to show Bella the emotions she so greatly needed.

I had chosen my vampire family, over my human daughter, in order to keep us together, to not lose anyone—I had lost Bella. For all that she had given us; what had we given her in return? We left her in the middle of the night with no goodbye, no reasons, and no excuses...yet she forgave us without a second thought. Bella had kept our secret out of love—as she had said to us when we had returned—I nearly sobbed, consumed with regret, when she had told us this. When I had found out Edward had slipped, it broke my heart; but my fear of being asked to pick up and move skyrocketed to an all-time high. When I found out we were leaving Forks, all those months ago, to leave Bella behind, my world nearly collapsed in on itself.

Now that Bella was home, safe and sound, after being away for three months—on the day her and Edward were supposed to be married; I was deeply saddened, but my spirits picked up when, I heard Edward whisper Bella's name, like it was his life preserver in the ocean he had been drowning in for those same three months.

I should have gone after her, when she left, I should have begged for her forgiveness for my less than human actions. I should never have agreed to respect her wishes to keep away; I should have fought for her...and I had failed to do so...yet again. I was no better than her human father—the thought of that made my dead heart ache in my chest, squeezing the unneeded oxygen from my lungs, constricting my chest in pain.

When she had told us about her time away; going to therapy, doing things that Edward should have been doing with her. Rock climbing, scuba diving, sky diving—I knew Edward was going crazy in the inside when she had told us—her new found love for shopping, her somewhat boyish figure had all but disappeared; a new strong glowing woman standing in front of us. Walking in heels, miniskirts; I bit my tongue when I noticed that was what she was going to wear it to go shopping.

_'You let the other girls wear whatever they like; why can't Bella?'_ The one side of my mind screamed at me; all the while the other side was screaming _'because she is human and vulnerable to any and all men, and should not be wearing that kind of things outside_!'

Going around in circles I called for my wife, in my time of need: Esme dropped whatever she was doing and came darting into my office, closing the door behind her. My arms open and waiting for her; enclosing around her when I felt her soft warm body melt into mine, it was heaven.

Looking into her eyes, I could see the silent questions screaming at me for answers; it pained me to see her in discomfort. Pulling her closer to my body, I crushed my lips to hers, in need; I selfishly needed her in my time of turmoil.

"Esme...do you really think I am the father and husband you believe me to be?" I whispered, not able to meet her eyes; I could feel her stare burning holes into my forehead and the audible gasp from her lips.

The entire house went silent.

"Hey guys" Jasper said already standing by the front door "let's get some fresh air; besides...I think this is the best time to kick your ass Emmett. Rosalie can cheer you on from the sidelines as I slaughter you!"

"Whatever!" Emmett boomed zipping down the stairs from the second floor, with Rosalie on his heels "I am so going to kick your ass, dude...Rosie will be cheering the winning team; won't you babe." Rosalie just laughed; the front door closing behind her.

I quickly sent out a wave of thanks to Jasper; hoping it would not be in vein. Esme sat in my lap still as stone, still staring at me. I stroked her beautiful face, hoping to coax her into giving me the answer I so desperately needed to hear.

"What kind of question is that?" Esme whispered finally; the goddess in my lap coming to life once again.

"Please Esme" I whimpered burning my face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her most delectable scent "just answer me. Am I the husband and father, you always knew, I would be? Have I failed?"

Esme spun around in my lap to face me completely "What did you two talk about on your walk?" She asked searching my eyes constantly for any shadows of sadness or clouds of remorse—she would find both tonight.

"I have a feeling; Bella is more upset with me, than she is leading me to believe." I said, deflecting Esme's question. "I think she is angrier with me, than she is showing; I just don't know how to coax it out of her. I could talk to Edward, about it; but I don't want to have to go behind Bella's back. Not when she just arrived home." I stood up, with Esme still on my lap, placing her gently on my plush leather office chair and began to pace the length of my office.

"I don't think she_ knows_ how too Carlisle." She said crossing her legs, leaning back into the chair. "I think that is why she is the way she is; why she sought out help. If I know anything about Bella...her going to therapy...there are more scars than we ever realized, there to be."

"I just don't know what to do anymore" I hissed frustrated "I have already failed her twice Esme; I could not tolerate to see Bella hurt another time. I can hardly stand it now!"

Coming to my side, Esme wrapped her slender arms around my waist pressing her chest into my back, squeezing me tightly in comfort. "I don't know either Carlisle" She sighed sadly pressing her face into my back her cute little nose nuzzling in between my shoulder blades. "But what I do know" She started unwinding her arms; I nearly whimpered at the loss of contact, but with her quick movements, she was standing in front of me, looking into my eyes once again. "Is that Bella does not hold grudges or think badly about anyone; she will come to you when she is ready; it may be ugly...but at least you will have your answers. I think we are all looking for answers Carlisle; it wasn't just you or I that have wronged Bella in the years, we have known her."

"How do know when to say exactly the right thing, at the right time?" I questioned her gently, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Mothers know best."

Was all she told me; before locking her lips with my own, the time and place was forgotten as soon as our lips met. Her delicate fingers gripping my shoulders, trying to get as close to me as she possibly could without fully wrapping herself around my body.

It seemed like hours later, before we heard Edward's car speeding up the driveway and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie hopping the river bank, running full speed towards the house.

"Rose, leave it alone." Edward hissed furious; walking in from the garage—no doubt with both arms full of shopping bags.

"You didn't hear what Carlisle said Edward" Rosalie cried anxiously "he doubts his abilities as a father and a husband." Gasps were heard from every corner of the house; Esme and I flew down the stairs to stop this from turning into a full blown fight. Edward would not be very happy to have to defend Bella against his own siblings...again. "What did you say to him?" Rosalie demanded glaring at Bella, her posture stiff and rigid in anger.

"That is none of your business" Bella said gently, trying to deflect a fight "it is between Carlisle and I; no one else."

"Bullshit!" Rosalie screeched crouching down, ready to leap at Bella; Edward pushed Bella behind him, shielding her instantly, and a low growl in his throat, warning Rosaline to back off from his mate. Edward dropped the shopping bags in his hands, spreading his arms wide to protect his love.

"Rosalie!" Esme scolded "What Bella says is true, what was said between the two of them is none of our business."

"Your mother is right Rosalie, it is none of your business; it is between Bella and myself." I spoke calmly, in hopes to try and sooth Rosalie's chaotic temper—it rarely worked, but I hoped it would tonight. "Everyone in this household is at fault for something; you are not perfect Rosalie...none of us is." I said, hoping to get my point across. "What your mother and I talk about is also none of your business; I was merely asking a question, not doubting my abilities in any way."

Darting to Rosalie's side, I took her face gently in my hands; her eyes softened under my gaze and touch. "I do not doubt my duties as a husband or a father." I whispered gently stroking her cheeks with my thumbs. "I have lived a very long time, my child; and even I need guidance every once in a while."

"Forgive me father" Rosalie whispered brokenly "Bella."

"There is nothing to forgive Rosalie." Bella said smiling at Rosalie "Now if will excuse Edward and I; it has been a long day, and I need some sleep."

Sweeping Bella into his arms along with the shopping bags in one movement, he ran up the stairs with a squealing of surprise from Bella. "Edward!" Bella giggled; there bedroom door closing behind them. A little while later, I heard Edward's shower running; Bella was showering before bed—a nightly routine that had almost long been forgotten since Bella's departure all those months ago. Twenty minutes later the unmistakable sound of Edward humming Bella's lullaby; lulling her to into a heavy sleep for the night.

"Be back in a little while Jazzy" Alice said from the living room "Carlisle wants an update."

With a quick peck on the cheek; Alice had suddenly appeared in my office, with Esme by my side on the couch I had in here for this exact reason. Lighting up the room—like on Alice can—with a bright smile on her little pixy face; she tapped her temple. Edward chuckled softly from his room.

"I should have known" I chuckled; Esme chucking along with me. "So how did today go?" I asked, playing along with Alice.

"It's a little bizarre" Alice admitted her little nose scrunching up, as if she smelt something foul in the air. "I mean she is Bella—smells like Bella, looks like Bella—but her demeanor has changed; she isn't as shy as before...defiantly not afraid to try new clothing on."

"Isn't this a good thing though?" Esme questioned suddenly "Bella has always been so...distant and painfully shy; even around us."

"I am sure it is" I gently patted Esme's knee in hopes of comforting her.

I don't know..." Alice mumbled "You should see the look in her eyes; it's unsettling."

"How so?"

"The same Bella—the old Bella—is still in there" Alice explained "it's like a part of the old Bella is trapped, inside a new person; she seems to be struggling internally to be both at the same time. Almost like she is two different people, but trying to supress one into submission; a fight to see who will win out—New Bella or old Bella."

"She is human, it is a part of what she is; humans change on the turn of a dime." I reassured them—all of my family; everyone was listening in. "I am sure, Bella is just trying to find a balance, is all."

"We don't know all of what she did while she was away" Esme spoke softly "But one thing I know about Bella; without a shadow of a doubt...she has never lost, sight of who, she is. New Bella or old Bella; change isn't always a bad thing; I am for one, jovial that she seems to _like_ who she is now. Edward will love her no matter whom she turns out to be, and so will we."

"Damn rights we will!" Emmett shouted from the first floor "saucy little thing she turned out to be...I like it; about time that girl found her spark! Gonna be a little spit fire of a newborn that's for sure!" He laughed.

"Emmett!" Edward whispered irritated from his and Bella's room "You are going to wake her!"

"Sorry, Bro" Emmett chuckled.

"Anything, else?" Alice asked, raising her eyebrows; teasingly in question.

I shook my head softly laughing and with a quick wink to us both, she was out the door, closing it gently behind her.

"Everything will work out, my dear." Esme said kissing my cheek, squeezing my thigh. "You'll see."

"I am sure we will, dear." I said settling down for the night with one of my new medical journals; Esme by my side, with her own book.

The house was quiet and peaceful for the rest of the evening; with morning slow on the horizon. I did not doubt that things would work out for me and my family.

**Author's Note:** How are you enjoying the story thus far? What do you think of the new and improved Bella? Do you think it will last? Thanks again to my wonderful Beta xXxMarauderettexXx. Without you, my story would not be as great as it is! Please review!


	29. Chapter 29

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Chapter 29

Doctor Eclipse Point Of View

It was like any other normal day at the office; a few calls, file away some personal paper work, check my E-mail...just the normal everyday morning work routine. That was until I got a phone call from one of my old patients, from many years ago; Charlie Swan.

"Doctor Eclipse" An old familiar voice said; he sounded upset, worried even.

I was worried for him. I remember him well; his wife—at the time—up and left town, with his only daughter; a custody battle in the near future. Charlie Swan was a wreck; the only reason, he even came to see me, was because of his line of work. Being a police officer (police Chief) of his home town, it was important for him to have a good head on his shoulders; not making any rash or unfair choices towards others—law breakers and work companions.

"Hello, Doctor Eclipse?" His gruff voice quickly snapped me back to reality.

"Charlie Swan!" I crowed happily "How are you?"

"You remember" He chuckled; a happier sound in his voice. I was pleased to hear this.

"Of course, I do; what kind of Doctor would I be, if I didn't." I joked lightly "What can I do for you?"

"Well..."He sighed heavily into the receiver "I was kinda hoping you could, help me out a little."

"Of, course" I said immediately." Anything I can help with."

"It's my daughter, Bella; she is moving out your way for a little while." Charlie said, he was unhappy to see his daughter go—I'm sure. "She has been having some difficulty with her, personal and love life; I am worried about her." He told me worriedly "I already talked it over with her...I kind of already gave her, your number." He admitted sheepishly.

"Of course, if she calls me, I will be more than willing to help her." I told him, honestly; Charlie Swan was a good man, an honest man. "When will she be arriving in town?" I asked.

"Some time Tomorrow afternoon, I can't exactly remember what time she lands."

"No worries" I said happy to help, him and his daughter out "Just let her know, if she calls you first; that I will be expecting her call. I look forward to seeing the Chief of Forks' Daughter, all grown up! I have not seen a picture of her since, she was just a little girl...five or six perhaps."

"She grew into a wonderful, young lady; a good head on her shoulders too!" He boasted proudly "Got into an Ivy League university too—Dartmouth."

"Impressive!" I said.

The little red light, started to blink on my office phone—another caller.

"Well Chief, I have another call, coming in; I will keep an ear out for Bella. I hope to hear from her soon."

"Thanks again, doc!" He said before the line went dead.

I switched phone lines, with the press of a button.

"Hello; this is Doctor Eclipse, speaking; how can I help you?" I asked calmly, professionally.

"Doctor, Eclipse...this is Bella Swan; Charlie Swan's, daughter." The small timid voice said; I could barely hear her.

"Well, hello Bella" I greeted "How can I help you?"

"Um...my dad gave me, your number; he said you could help me...if this is a bad time..."

Of course this was not a bad time!

"Of course not" I assured her instantly "What can I help you with?"

"I was hoping to come in and see you; you know...to talk..."

I didn't know whether it was, just because I had gotten off the phone with her father or she was more like him; than her mother, but they sounded a lot of like—especially when Charlie, had first come to me. I knew this girl needed help, and her father was counting on me; I didn't know how long she was staying. I wanted to set up a meeting with her right away. Urgency struck me like a blow to the chest.

"Sure, when can you come in" I asked, trying to keep the emotion, out of my voice; she was too much like her father—I could tell, already. "I have a few hours tomorrow morning; say around...ten in the morning?"

"I can be there for ten" She said meekly "I know where the building is...I guess I will see you tomorrow."

"I look forward to meeting, you Bella." I told her honestly "Bye for now."

"Bye."

Hanging up the phone, an odd feeling swept over me, making me feel uneasy; I shook it off. I needed to get ready for my eleven o'clock session.

I looked forward to seeing Bella Swan; I hoped I was able to help her, with any amount of time she was given—being she was seeking help willingly; she was free to stop coming to see me, whenever she wished too. I hoped time was what she was going to give me.

At nine thirty this morning; my office phone rang, shrill and demanding; I prayed it wasn't Bella, calling to cancel on me—I would not able to face her father otherwise—to my surprise, it was her father, Charlie Swan.

"Morning, Doc!" He crowed happily; Bella must have called him last night.

"Good morning Chief Swan!" I teased "How can I help you, this bright and sunny morning?"

I knew without a shadow of a doubt it was pouring rain in Forks', all it ever did there was rain—it was exactly why I took this job in Florida.

"Funny" He snickered "Bella called me last night; guess I was wrong on the time, must have slipped my mind...anyways; she said, she has an appointment with you this morning?"

"Yes; you know, I can't tell you any more than that Charlie; patient confidentially." I reminded him gently.

"Of course" He griped "I will let you get ready, then. Talk to you later." He said hanging up.

He was just as eager, as I, it seemed to have Bella come to see me; which worried me a little too much. It seemed he didn't give her much privacy I her life—not the best thing to do, with a teenager or young adult—I heard it all the time, with the teens and young adults that came through my office.

'My parents won't respect my privacy; always digging though my room, when I am not home or going through my mail or credit card and bank statements.' The list went on and on, when it came to parents and their children.

Looking at my watch; I realized it was nearly ten and nearly time for Bella Swan to come into my office. I quickly fetched a fresh pad of paper for taking notes, two bottles of water—one for Bella and one for myself—a few pens, in case one ran out of ink, and lastly, put my office phone on 'do not disturb.'

At ten sharp, a very beautiful bark haired beauty walked through my office door, wearing a plain white t-shirt, with low cut jean shorts and multi-coloured flip flops. Bella Swan was as beautiful as I had seen in her last photograph, twelve years ago. Her posture was resigned, timid, uneasy and maybe even a little fearful—I didn't take any offence, this process could be a scary one. Opening up your darkest secrets to a complete stranger, would be a little unnerving to me too.

Standing by the door to greet her; her milk chocolate brown eyes, met my blue eyes. I could see the secrets; she had hidden deep inside the center of pupil of her eye and the silent pleas for help drowning in the chocolate brown depths of her irises.

I smiled warmly at her; hoping to earn her trust.

"Good morning Bella" I greeted her professionally, coolly, calmly "How are you this morning?" I held the door open—an open invitation to her; to her secrets and problems—Bella smiled back at me, walking through the door. To some patients...that was half the battle!

"I am good, I guess" She tried answering me honestly; that much I could tell. "It is a little odd and uncomfortable, being away from my _close_ friends and _family_."

I didn't miss the emphasis on her 'close friends and family' remark. I quickly logged it away in my mind, for a later time, to talk with her about it.

"Please, have a seat" I said, pointing to the plush leather arm chairs, I had in my office "Make yourself comfortable."

"Thanks" She said, picking the seat closest to the door; a sign of someone, ready to run on a moment's notice—also, not uncommon, in this situation.

"So" I said softly; hoping to put her more at ease "What would you like to talk about?" I always left that choice up to my patients—always.

"I don't know where exactly to start." She whispered; a deep blush staining her cheeks — exactly like her father.

"Well...how about, we start with, why you decided to come and see me." I suggested, trying to getting a starting point, to our two hour session.

Bella sighed deeply, looking out the bay window of my office; tears glistening in her eyes. What had happened to this child?

"I came here because, I am afraid, of making a life changing mistake." She said hurriedly; clearly embarrassed. "My boyfriend, proposed to me, a few weeks ago; we had a huge fight, and I got scared...I guess what I am trying to say, is I am terrified of marrying so young."

"That is not uncommon" I told her "Marrying so young, especially with the way your parents' marriage ended; but to take this so seriously, is a great sign of maturity."

"How do I know, if I am making the right choices?" She asked.

"Well...that is why we are here; to help you seek the answers you are looking for and hopefully...by the time we are finished, you will have exactly what you came here for."

With that the flood gates opened; Bella poured her heart and soul out to me — I did notice however —she kept certain things, hidden from me. Someone else's secrets, Bella was unable to tell me.

By the end of our two hours; Bella had told me about her childhood, her moving to Forks, and the sudden break up with her boyfriend...Edward Cullen.

It didn't seem to me, that Bella was a simple person; no, she was a very complex person, with more than childhood issues. Bella had an aversion to people spending money on her; birthdays—any holiday really—her best friends' desire to dress her up in clothes, Bella couldn't fathom buying for herself.

The list was long, but over time, we would break down walls and solve many issues.

With a quick goodbye, until our next session; I told Bella to take some time to, think over what more she wanted to talk about, and call me when she was ready to talk more.

We had barely scratched the surface; two days went by, and I had still not heard from Bella; I worried. But my worries, would be put to rest, when I heard Bella's soft voice greet me happily on the receiving line of the telephone line.

"Hello, Doctor Eclipse, its Bella...Bella Swan; can we make another session date?"

"Of course" I replied, happy to hear that the tone in her voice was a happier one "How about one tomorrow afternoon?"

"Perfect! See you then." She chirped "Bye."

I hung up the phone, my head spinning; that was not the same girl, that had entered my office no more than two days ago...or was it?

**Author's Note:** So...what did you think? Bet you didn't think, I would have added that in! And I know it was kinda silly to use 'Dr. Eclipse' but nothing came to mind, until I looked up at one of my Eclipse posters. I think it's kind of fitting actually. The old Bella...the new Bella...the same Bella...and Eclipse of one's self, trying to find a balance! Exciting no? Please review! Gimme some word candy people!


	30. Chapter 30

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Chapter 30

Bella's Point Of View

Crossing the border into Seattle; I started feeling even more anxious, then I had been, the whole time I had been driving towards home—towards Edward. It was hard to keep to the regulated speed limits, set out by the city, as I nearly sped all the way to Charlie's place.

It was just after six in the evening, so I knew, he would either be home or on the Reservation, with Billy and the rest of the pack; taking a chance, I turned down the very familiar street, to my father's home. I saw an old friend, stating me in the face—my old truck—he looked sad and happy to see me all at the same time.

I was surprising Charlie; he thought he was supposed to pick me up after work tomorrow. He would never hear my or even suspect me coming home in my new SUV. Pulling up behind my truck, I killed the engine, hopped out and pressed the alarm button on my key chain, the little chirp, letting me know that the alarm was armed.

"Hello old friend." I whispered stroking the side of my truck as I walked by "Don't be jealous...you will always be my favourite." I chuckled to myself; I was talking to a truck—'maybe continuing therapy wasn't a bad thing' I snickered in my thoughts.

I didn't have a key, so I just knocked on the front door; I heard Charlie grumble underneath his breath. "Couldn't wait until a commercial, could they?" Hearing Charlie's work boots stomp across the floor towards the door; swirled a lot of old memories in my mind—good and bad; I just about sobbed his name.

Too quickly the door opened, pulling me from my memories; he looked at me with wide appraising eyes, shock the dominant feature on his face.

I couldn't contain it any longer; a sob broke from my chest, Charlie pulled me into his arms, and we both cried sitting on the floor, the front door wide open.

We cried together, for all of the broken parts of me that I had been thrust on me as a child, we cried for all of the times we had never had together as I grew up, we cried for my pain and his, from when Edward had left me—leaving me more broken, than I had started out. We cried for all of the times, we had not seen eye to eye; but mostly we cried, because he knew—deep down inside—that my leaving for Dartmouth, wasn't just a goodbye for a few months.

It was a forever goodbye.

No words needed to be said, our tears said everything, which needed to be heard; so when the tears finally stopped, helping me to my feet, I closed the door behind me and went to the kitchen to start making Charlie his well needed home cooked meal.

I kept it light and simple, making a Chef's salad, lemon and dill poached salmon and garlic bread. We watched some sports highlights as we ate in a comfortable silence; Charlie didn't ask about my therapy session, which I was quite happy about. But we did talk about my time away, all the things I did on my own and with my mom and Phil.

He was very impressed, when I had told him about my lack of balance issues, how I had taken up Yoga and shopping; the rock climbing and sky diving. We talked for hours, but when midnight hit, we called it quits; it was time for bed.

"Good to have you home for the night Bells" Charlie said, blushing slightly "And thanks for coming here, before going back to..."

"You are my father, there was no choice, but to see you first" I told him hugging him around the waist "Besides, I am not leaving right away, Charlie. I will come say goodbye to you before I leave."

"Good" He choked out; no doubt, trying to hide the tears. "Good night, kid."

"Night dad" I said closing my bedroom door.

Slowly turning to face my empty bed, silent tears poured down my face; I wanted to call Edward, to tell him that I was home. But I couldn't. I needed to get through this last night on my own—no matter how painful it may be for me. I didn't even bother getting changed for bed, I didn't bother getting under the covers; I would never sleep, no matter how hard I tried.

I kicked off my shoes, so I didn't disturb Charlie, while I puttered around me room, with my bed side lamp as my only light to see me thought this last night in my father's home. There wasn't much to do, most of my stuff was already at the Cullen home, in mine and Edward's bedroom; I doubt if Alice had unpacked anything yet—let alone set things up to her liking. I hoped that Edward's room would still look the same, when I saw it again. Finding an old book under my pillow, I read until I was half way done; checking the time, I glanced at my watch, it was about a half hour, before Charlie had to get up for work.

Shoving the covers I used to keep me warm, to the foot of the bed; I got up and went downstairs to the kitchen to make breakfast for Charlie and me. I made a big breakfast—pancakes, sausages, scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns, toast and coffee—for my last morning here. I tried not to give myself a time, to be at the Cullen's; I didn't want Alice and Edward to know I was back in town yet.

"I thought I smelt something delicious" Charlie laughed coming down the stairs dressed in his uniform "Looks good too, thanks Bella. When did you get up? I didn't hear you."

"Um...I was too keyed up to sleep last night, so I read" I mumbled making our coffees' "I thought you could use a big breakfast."

"Definitely!" Charlie chuckled "Smells really...you made bacon and sausages!" He crowed happily piling his plate with both types of meat "you are spoiling me kid!"

I only laughed, piling my own plate with mostly eggs, hash browns and a slice of toast, sipping my two sugars and three cream, coffee. Charlie told me to leave the dishes, but I protested, telling him I needed more time to myself, before I went to the Cullen home.

I took my time washing each dish with care, rinsing and drying in groups of three or four, until all the dishes were done—I knew what I was doing, I was being cowardly; but that was the old Bella...I am now the new Bella—I ran upstairs to take a quick shower, not bothering to wash my hair. I dressed myself in something they would expect me to wear—minus the boots—changing into jeans, halter top and my boots with a little half jacket to pair everything together and tie it all in nicely. I brushed my teeth, straightened my hair a little, to get out the kinks from the long drive to here and the even longer night.

Completely satisfied with my outfit, I half ran out of the house, excited to see my family again. I patted the hood of my old truck on my way by. "Sorry, old girl; you're just not fast enough for me anymore. Besides...it's time to move on." I whispered feeling absolutely no guilt; the old Bella would have hung on to my old truck, until it died...just because Charlie gave it to me, because it was something that would remind me of him when I was a vampire.

Speeding towards the Cullen home—if Charlie caught me speeding like this, he would be really disappointed, but would understand—I was excited to see everyone; I had a very hard time, trying to keep my foot from slamming down to the floor—I had to remember that this was not my old truck—and send my flying down the highway at over a hundred miles an hour.

Being sneaky—or at least trying to be—I slowed down, so they would not suspect someone over anxious, pulling in to their driveway; I was hoping to be seen as a lost driver that took a wrong turn some place along the highway.

Much to my delight my heart was trying to beat out of my chest—a silent calling to Edward—I tried to calm myself down, when I saw the front door open and Edward and out family step out onto the porch; steeling myself to not throw myself at them. I still held all the cards; and they knew that.

'You can do this, Bella' I mentally told myself 'It's just like, you practiced in therapy.'

In the process of taking a deep breath, a smile—a smile, I had not worn for some months now—broke out on my face. Keeping myself hidden from their view, I kept my car door close to me, until I gently slammed it shut. Mouths dropped open, smiles of happiness broke out on faces, I had not seen in what seemed like forever.

I took the first step into my new life, with the new 'me' out in the open for everyone to look at; for the very first time...I was truly happy and whole.

**Authors Note:** Hey...I hope you have been enjoying the new chapters! I have some more great ideas, so look keep a look out for new chapters in the near future.


	31. Chapter 31

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Chapter 31

Edward's Point Of View

After the small glitch in last night's home coming with Rose, the day had gone perfectly well; Bella and Alice quickly fell into their old routine. Going from shop to shop, trying everything on in the store, to see if it fit as perfectly as they had hoped it would.

Victoria Secret, was every bit as hard, as Alice had said it would be—mentally of course—on the drive up here; a not so very shy Bella flung open the dressing room curtain; presenting a very elaborate navy blue, lace and satin Corset, along with a garter belt.

My jaw hit the floor, my eyes popped wide; Bella was blindingly stunning and just as beautiful as the day I met her—if not more—this new found confidence was sexy beyond words. It took every part of my mind to control; myself and to not jump her fragile little human body and take her in the changing room. Lace, satin, cotton, the list went on and on; nearly five thousand dollars later, Bella had everything she desired to have.

The other shops went much the same as first three; find clothes, try them on and buy the item or not. We stopped briefly so Bella could have some dinner, then we were on our way home.

Morning came too soon; the sleeping angel in my arms, started to stir awake. I gazed down at her lovingly, how on earth did this perfect creature become mine? I slowly shook my head; I would never know that answer, no matter, how long I searched for.

"Good morning, love" I whispered kissing her temple, my arms tightening around her waist; a sigh of contentment came off her lips happily.

"Mmmm" She hummed snuggling closer to me; I gratefully accepted anything she would give me—a kiss, a hug or just her words...anything at all. "Very much so; I can't believe how tired I was."

"You slept nine and a half hours." I said casually "Nothing to be worried about" I teased her.

Bella laughed; it made me so happy to hear her laughter filled with joy and happiness.

"Well, no more sleeping" Bella murmured turning over to face me "but talking is a must; we have some things to work out...and I would like to discuss with you. Is it raining out?"

"I'm sorry, Bella" I told her, knowing she wanted to go to our meadow "It's been pouring rain all night, and will rain all day too. As soon as we have a sunny day, I will take you. I promise."

"It's alright" Bella sighed "come back to bed, we can laze in bed all day." Bella said patting the open space beside her on the bed. "I have no intentions of sharing you with anyone today...just you and me."

"I think I like this idea" I murmured darting to the same spot I was laying in before "What would you like to do, in bed then? We have all day." I asked trying to keep things on the lighter side, for the day.

In truth, I was going crazy, with wanting to know, what Bella had done while she was away...but I had to let her tell me on her own. I would-could—not risk losing her again; I needed her too much, loved her too much; to hurt her like I have in the past.

"Just ask me Edward, before your head explodes!" Bella giggled beside me, poking me in the ribs "I know it has been driving you insane!" How well she knew me; this was no longer about me though.

"I don't know where to start; I want to know everything you did while you were away." I said

"But..."She pressed.

"I want you to tell me, what you want me to know; I don't want to fish for information..."

"Therapy was more for me, myself, and I; it had nothing to do with my love for you." She blurted out suddenly "I realized that I wasn't happy with me, I didn't know how to grow as a person. I was always so set on becoming like you, that I unconsciously blocked everything else out. I thought that if I aged more than I already had...eternity wouldn't mean the same as it would if I was the age I am at now."

"Oh...Bella...your age, has nothing to do with..."

"I know" She said cutting me off "It was about me, Edward. I can admit now, what I couldn't admit then."

"Which was?"

"I'm glad you refused to turn me, from all the million times, I had asked you. I wasn't ready, and no matter how ready I said I was...I wasn't. I understand now; your desires to leave me human, as long as possible."

I was shocked, Bella was admitting being wrong about, becoming a vampire? Admitting that I was right? My head felt like it was spinning out of control; did she not want this life now? Did she see the flaws in our ways of life?

"I took for granted, the life I had; not the life I was living. I wanted something so badly—and I still do—that I convinced myself, I was right and you were wrong. And I am so sorry for that Edward; I feel horrible for trying to trap you. I was young; but not all this is just about my age or mentality." She mused seriously. "It also had a lot to do with you too; you can't keep me in the dark with these kinds of things anymore. Yes, it may be frightening, yes, it may be hard for me to hear; I may even have a bad dream or two...but keeping me in the dark and then having this life thrust upon me at the last minute, when I was really a vampire..."

"I understand Bella and yes, I am not perfect either...but at the same time; I knew you were not ready, and I was not about to thrust those things upon you when, you still had to make your choice..."

"Edward...Charlie knows..."

"You told him!" I hissed furious "Bella...how could you! Why would you? What did you tell your therapist? What have you done?"

"You didn't let me finish!" Bella yelled back at me "Of course, I didn't tell him! You think I would betray you like that?"

"I'm sorry Bella" I whispered feeling guilty "what does Charlie know?"

"He knows that Dartmouth is just a rouse... in a way; he doesn't know what you are...but he knows something and he knows that the goodbye I give him...isn't going to be an 'I will see you at Christmas time' good bye either...he knows it's for life."

"How did he take it?"

"He let me go—after we both cried on the hallways floor for an hour—I have let things go too Edward. My truck is waiting for you, to rip it to shreds."

"What" I chuckled shaking my head.

"I realized that I was holding on to things that I didn't need too; I don't need a truck to know that Charlie loved me and wanted me to be safe. I don't need to hang onto it because he bought it for me. It was one of the things that I learned in therapy. Have you not wondered why I let you spend nearly twenty grand on me yesterday and didn't complain once? I thought that if I was given something...then that was the only thing I would have left in the end."

"Your parents' divorce" I sighed, putting the pieces together myself. "You thought that if, I did buy you something...it wasn't out of love...it was a way to keep you."

"Yes" Bella whispered not meeting my eyes "I can't tell you how deep these scars go, when I don't even know myself. But what I can tell you...is that part of me, is in the past and I am not going to cling to it anymore. I was so...so convinced that I knew the truth, when the fact was, I had no idea, what I wanted or needed—except for you, I have always been one hundred percent sure about you and this life."

"You have no idea, how happy I am for you Bella" I said pulling her closer to my body "I am so proud of you; and I could not be happier that you have found peace for yourself; a balance if you will."

And I was. I was elated to have Bella home, I was ecstatic to have her in my arms; I was over the moon when she told us that she still wanted eternity. I was jovial when she let me spend thousands of dollars on her in the stores; I was practically bursting with pride when Bella had told us that she had taken the time to grow as a person and taken the adult steps to admitting that she needed help and sought it out herself.

"You are proud of me for running away from my problems?" Bella questioned me dryly, her eye brows knitted together in confusion. "How can you say that Edward; I hurt you—all of you—I was selfish and said some pretty mean things."

"You didn't run, Bella" I said chuckling "You went to where the help was; it would be the same thing as, me running off to find the cure for human blood—impossible—if it were there for me to have? Besides, the second you had called me to come to you; I would have dropped everything I was doing to find you."

"I would have done the same" She whispered into my chest, snuggling her tiny face into my cotton shirt.

"I know you would have." I whispered back, burying my face in her hair; her scent was intoxicating, and I could never have enough of it.

"There is something I would like Edward" Bella told me pulling away from my chest to look me in the eyes; I could see the determination and truth in her eyes. "Something big; really, really big."

"Whatever you wish for is already yours Bella; just tell me what you want and I will give it to you." I vowed to her honestly, taking her wishes as seriously as she meant them. I would give her anything her heart desired, no matter what I had to do or where I had to go, or what I had to pay; it would be hers.

Grabbing her laptop off the side table, Bella pulled up a website, I was not familiar with.

"This is where we are right now" Bella said pointing to the little red star on the map on her laptop screen "and this is a piece of land that is still within city limits." I watched Bella trail her finger lightly across the screen about half an inch "I did some digging around, and found out that it was not owned.

"You want me to buy you a piece of land?" I asked confused.

"I want you to buy it for me, so _we_ can build a house there; it has all the necessary pipe lines we need for water and gas and electricity. I want a place to call our own, but I could not bear to be too far away from everyone else. I need and want, to be with you right now; _only_ you. I don't want brothers and sister annoying us to death" Bella grinned laughing; knowing that my family could very well hear her. "So...what do you think?" Bella asked looking a little worried.

"I think it is a wonderful idea!"

"Yay!" Bella squealed throwing herself at me "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

I laughed as I let Bella's weight roll me over when she collided with me, catching her around the waist, when she nearly fell off the bed. I could only imagine how poor Jasper was feeling right now; he was probably floating on cloud nine with all the happiness that surrounded him right now. I pulled Bella onto my chest and she immediately crushed her lips with mine—it was the third kiss I had received from her, upon her arrival home—with a searing passion, I didn't know she had possessed.

My arms locked themselves around her waist, gently crushing her warm fragile body to my cold marble body; her heart beat stuttered in her chest, before pounding out a jagged distorted rhythm, our breathing loud and ragged. Her sweet hot breath filled my lungs with ecstasy; Bella shook her head slightly, reminding me of her need to breathe, and greedily my lips moved to her throat, to her pounding jugular vein. Wiggling in my arms, I released her body, only to have her hands snake around my neck and into my hair, tugging on my strands.

"Oh, how I have missed this," Bella panted breathlessly; I hummed in agreement.

"I know exactly what you mean, love" I said just as breathless.

"Bella's breakfast is ready" Esme's sweet motherly thoughts rang in my mind.

I sighed very quietly, too low for Bella to hear it. "Esme has made you breakfast my love; would you like it downstairs or in bed; the choice is yours."

"I have no intentions of getting out of this bed today; I meant what I said, Edward." She sighed still breathless "But breakfast does sound like a good idea; can she bring..." A soft knock on our bedroom door, interrupted Bella's thoughts.

"I think Esme could manage that" I chuckled scooting Bella off of my chest, so I could answer the door.

"Thank you Esme." Bella said as I shut the bedroom door; with a full array of breakfast foods for Bella. "Mmmm...Smells good" she said deeply inhaling the different flavors in the air. "What's on the menu for breakfast?"

"Bacon, eggs, a small stack of pancakes, coffee and strawberries" I replied placing the tray in front of Bella. Bella ate quite a bit of her breakfast, she said she couldn't finish her pancakes but ate everything else, Esme had prepared for her.

"That was really good" Bella sighed, content and full from breakfast. "I think I may just ask Carlisle, to duplicate Esme; so I can have a personal chef, for the rest of my human life."

I could only laugh, only my Bella would say something like this. We talked for hours about Bella's time away; what she had done when she wasn't seeing her therapist—Dr. Eclipse. What she did with her mother and Phil, what she had experienced on her own and things she would like to do again, with me. I nearly exploded with happiness, when Bella told me that she wanted to go for strolls down the beach at nightfall with me. I was practically vibrating with joy when Bella asked me to experience so many human things with her; before she became immortal.

Bella took a little time out of bed and our time together, so she could take a quick shower; coming back to bed with slightly wet hair and a very sexy shorts and camisole, smelling of freesias and strawberries.

"How I have missed these two scents together." I said deeply inhaling her wet hair "No two scents in the world could compare." I explained inhaling her two scents again.

"Only _you_" Bella snickered "Would tell me how _edible_ I smell on a daily basis. And only _I_ would take that as a _flattering_ comment."

"Really" I asked pleasantly surprised.

"Of course—to be quite honest; I find it more flattering than when you call me beautiful." She informed me while I sat there and gawked at her speechless. "Only _you_, Edward can smell me the way you do and have it _mean_ something. To others I smell like Bella; but I know with you, its means so much _more_ to _you_. I don't smell as appetizing as I do for no good reason; for whatever reason the looms of fate, destined me for you, sweet smelling and beautiful."

I had no words for my emotions, so I settled on kissing her lips with a loving gentle kiss; Bella and I heard the women in the house chorus a long 'Awww, how sweet.' Bella giggled against my lips, filling me with an overwhelming ecstasy.

"I love you Bella, so much; more than I have ever loved you before." I breathed in her ear; watching her little frame shake from my cold breath.

**Author's Note:** I could go on forever with this chapter so I am going to end it here. I am sorry for taking so long with these last few chapters. I kinda hit a writer's block wall. I hit it hard too *rubs head* but I think that everything will be back to normal soon.

I would like to thank my wonderful Beta! I would also like to that all of my dedicated fans and readers. I could not have come this far without any of you!


	32. Chapter 32

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight!

Chapter 32

Esme's Point Of View

It has been six months since, Bella's arrival home to us; four of those six months have been revolving around building Bella and Edward's new home, only a few miles away from our main home. It was oddly refreshing to see Bella so involved with things, she never wanted a hand in before; Bella was very sure of what she wanted for their home, she loved the main house and wanted an almost exact replica.

When I asked her why she wanted a replica of main house, her answer blew me away; I nearly crushed her to death in a hug of happiness.

"I have always loved this house; even when you were all gone for those seven months." I waited frozen; Edward and Rosalie glanced at one another, and then back at me. It was not the reply I was expecting. "I used to come here on my own—never did I enter the house—and sit and cry or just wanted an escape. No one knew how to get here, so it was the perfect hiding place. I was sad, that it remained so empty; it felt so...wrong to just have it sit by itself. So as weird as my logic seems, sometimes—and I know it does—I thought of we ever had to pick up and move...the house wouldn't be so lonely anymore...she could have a joining sister a few miles away." I didn't know how to reply—I don't think any of my family knew how to reply to her.

Later on that evening Bella had a scheduled online therapy session with Dr. Eclipse. We all did our very best to, not listen in to their conversations; once in a while Bella's sobs of despair or shouts of anger or frustration, would break through to us. Edward was having such a hard time with this; he wanted to be there to comfort his Bella; but she said it was something that she needed to do on her own. I could understand where she was coming from. But at the same time...I wanted nothing more than to hold Bella in my arms and let her cry. But I could not; it was not my place to do so.

After her allotted time with her therapist, Bella sat alone for half the night, crying; it wasn't long before, her cries died down to little whimpers, until she had finally exhausted herself, into a deep sleep. Thankfully, it was this night that Edward was out hunting; so I took it upon myself—as her mother—to take care of her. Smoothly lifting her from the couch in the living room, into my arms; I sat cradling her, rocking her gently, trying to give Bella, what little comfort I could.

I sat thinking of all the times; Bella had shied away from Carlisle or me and tried to compare it to all the times, she had not shied away from us. It was a fine line that much was certain; though Bella was opening up to us now—more so than ever before—I often wondered, how taxing it was on her.

Did she want to open up to us? Was it something her therapist only suggested to her? How long would it last? Could Bella, recoil at any moment and become the girl, she had once been, all those months ago? Would the old Bella, ever resurface from time to time? Does Bella really like who she has become? Does she miss the old side of herself?

I had a million questions, but I didn't dare ask her, in fear of her distancing herself from us; we are still adjusting to the new Bella, as well. This was very much a new territory to me; I was very much so, out of my own element. I didn't know how to be a mother to a changing broken girl of her past; I did however, want to scold her birth mother, for all of the things, she had not done for Bella, as she grew up.

A child raising a parent, was the most shameful act, in my day in age—unless extremely ill or dying—it was not at all heard of, or talked about in my time; so it was heartbreaking for me, to not be able to nurture this child, I cradled in my arms, as she slept somewhat peacefully now. How my poor daughter was burdened her entire life; divorced parents, fighting over her in a custody battle, a too young mother, utterly detached to raise her own child, a father who, paid more attention to the sports channel than his own daughter. And then we came along; opening Bella up to a whole different world to the meaning of 'family;' I could remember how frightened Bella was coming to meet us for the first time—not out of the fact that my family and I were vampires, but because she thought we would not approve of her.

It filled me with such shame and heartache to leave her behind, all those months ago, without anyone to understand her or her situation. It was hard enough for us as a family to stay as detached from the human world as much as we possibly could; then to dump Bella into our world, then vanish without a trace...only to leave her even more isolated than before, in a world that never understood her from the moment she was born.

I could only imagine what it was like for her.

At three in the morning, Edward came darting into the living room, with Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett; Alice and Jasper, were at Bella and Edward's home, building thought the night.

"She cried herself to sleep again." I whispered sadly. "I tried not to listen in." I explained quickly, gazing down at the sleeping child in my arms. "I don't know how she does it."

"Does what, Esme?" My husband asked coming to my side, kissing my forehead gently; taking a short break from Bella and Edward's new home.

"I mean, how she still stands, so strong and tall...after everything she has been though; I feel like I am waiting for her to crumble, into a million pieces. Just waiting for someone to piece her back together; piece by broken piece; then again, knowing Bella, she would glue herself back together, bright, shiny and new."

"I don't think so Esme." Rosalie murmured sitting across from me in an arm chair. "No one person, can do all that Bella has done, and still remain perfectly intact; something will set her off sooner or later. As independent as Bella is; everyone, needs someone, at some point in their life."

"Bella is Bella, and we will do whatever it is, she needs us to do, when she needs it; No matter what life throws at us, I will pick up every single piece for the rest of my limitless existence, if I have to." Edward said, putting his foot down, on the subject. Taking her from my arms; Edward cradled Bella to his chest, humming her lullaby, and slowly making his way up to their room for the rest of the night.

The remainder of us went to work on Bella and Edward's house for a few hours, until Carlisle had to go to work and I had to make breakfast for Bella; it was a simple pleasure, she allowed me to do for her, and I would relish in this one thing, as long as Bella was human.

The morning went by quickly, Edward and Bella joined me in the kitchen as I made French toast for Bella this morning; then the three of us made our way over to Bella and Edward's home. It was nearly complete; all that was left was installing pipes and wiring, getting the rest of the walls up and then came painting and decorating. Bella, Alice, Edward and I, had gone to Vancouver last weekend to pick out some new furniture and accessories for their home.

Doing the total opposite to this house as the main house; Bella wanted darker colours on the walls. Ranging from Rich chocolate browns to emerald greens and deep violets, with one white room; the piano room—Bella insisted on getting a duplicate of Edward's piano. Bella couldn't bear the thought of moving Edward's piano from the main house. I was secretly grateful for that; I too could not bear to look into that room and not see his piano sitting on its sleek black pedestal.

I was a believer of things working out for the better, and so far so good; now it was just waiting for something to go wrong...but when?

A/N: I know it has taken me a long while to add another chapter to this story and for that I apologize. I have been going through a very difficult time as of late and needed the time to recuperate. I hope that you enjoy this chapter! I also wanted to give a shout out to my wonderful Beta...who I have missed tremendously. Enjoy!


	33. Chapter 33

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Alice's Point Of View

Chapter 33

Bella had shocked us all, when she pulled up in a brand new sleek black SUV; in a pair of Gucci boots and gold stitched jeans and a pink—Yes, I said _pink_—halter top with the cutest black half cut jacket. If I had a heartbeat, it would have stopped all together!

"Bella...is wearing six inch heels." I murmured blown away at the sight in front of me. "Bella Swan is _walking_ in six inch Gucci boots...I think...I think...I'm dead."

Emmett ran in a blur of motion towards Bella, capturing her, in his arms; Bella's shriek of surprise, thawed out all of us Cullen statues. Appraising Bella as she walked towards my family on the front porch, I noticed something very different about her. Bella was stronger, the way she carried herself, as she walked was mind boggling. Bella looked confident; the shy awkward girl that left here months ago had transformed into a stronger and more confident woman.

Dumbfounded was the only feeling that floated around inside me.

After the initial welcome home Bella, was finished, we all gathered in the living room; Edward kept his distance, from Bella. I knew he was dying to touch her, hold her; kiss her until she could barely breathe—but he could not. Not until Bella gave him the 'okay'.

Therapy, sky diving, scuba diving, rock climbing; Bella had done so much while she was away. Three months was usually nothing to an immortal—but the time away from Bella felt like a lifetime—to Bella, three months was the perfect amount of time to heal and grow into the person, she should have been without Vampire's in her life.

Edward was sitting ram rod straight in his chair; I knew on the inside he was freaking out, about all the reckless things Bella had done while she was away. But I could see her point; she had proved to me, to Edward and the rest of our family that she could indeed survive without us, and do things without our help. I was elated to have my best friend and sister home; the happiest I had been in months.

Our family minus Edward and Bella had left the room; giving them some much needed privacy. Jasper couldn't stand still, he was gravitating towards every one of us; were so happy to have Bella home—I was happy to have my favourite shopping partner back, and she _wanted_ to shop now. I did my very hardest to rein in all of my joy, just in case, it blew up in my face; I looked into the very near future, to find it clear of all hazards and obstacle's. We were indeed going shopping tomorrow morning; the shocking part of it all was Bella going on her own free will and enjoying herself. I honestly thought I was in a parallel universe or something.

After Bella and Carlisle left for their father/daughter talk in the woods; Edward was a bundle of nerves.

"You know, Carlisle; would never allow anything to happen to her right?" I said flitting to Edward's side, as he sat in the chair Bella had just been sitting in; he was very nervous of what could happen, while they were away. Edward was afraid Bella would get upset and leave again.

I knew different.

"I know I can trust Carlisle; I am just having a hard time, being away from her. I never want to let her ago again; eternity will still never be enough, for all the time she has been away from me—from us." He replied looking out the front window; waiting for both of them to come home.

"Edward" Esme said darting to her sons' side. "Everything will be just fine, just wait and see." Esme smiled, glancing at everyone in the room. "Bella _needed_ this time away and now that she has come home, everything will be as it was."

"I agree with Esme." Rosalie said quietly; we all gawked at her with surprise and confusion. "What I mean is...Bella has found a sort of peace...with herself; now she needs to find peace with each of us. I won't be mean to her anymore." I was speechless. "I can understand now; that Bella was not meant to live out the life that I wanted. I understand now that Bella has to live out the life, she desires to have; even if it is as a Vampire. I was being selfish, for pressing it on her."

"Thank you Rose; it means a lot to us and to Edward." I replied; I could see Edward nodding in agreement out of the corner of my eye. "Now, all we have to do is wait, it will take time, I can see that much." I said. "I have a feeling, it will take some time for Bella to come full circle; it will be worth the wait."

"I will wait forever." Edward said pacing the room frantically. "I don't care what she demands of me; I will do anything and everything for her."

"Well, so far; she wants to go shopping." I laughed "It sounds bizarre; Bella wants to go shopping...even in the right context, it still doesn't sound right."

It did still seem bizarre, but Bella was Bella, she didn't always do or see things the same as others did; Edward chuckled, reading my thoughts.

"Her feelings have certainly changed." Jasper said sitting beside me. "Bella has a new aura around her; like she is at peace—just like Rose said—I think, even though we missed her like crazy and wanted her to come home, the minute she walked out the door...she needed this. She is far more confident, the embarrassment, she usually gives off, is pretty much gone. The only thing that concerns me is...will it last? As long as we feed her the right feelings and actions, she should still remain the same; if we don't, it could have a great opposite effect and ruin what she has built for herself."

"Jasper is right." I agreed. "We can't treat her as we have in the past; we could lose her again, if we do."

"That is not an option...If Bella has become different, then we must adapt to her. Not the other way around." Emmett spoke for the first time, he loved Bella so much as a sister, and he would do anything to keep her, just as the rest of us would do the same.

"Wow...Emmett...that was deep." I teased him, giggling; Rosalie desperately trying to hide her own girlish little giggle. "I didn't know you could be so...serious."

"I did!" Rosalie piped up, after clearing her throat of her giggles. "Right Emmy bears..." Rosalie flitted to his side planting soft sweet kisses on his rippling biceps; trying to suck up for the giggling. Of course it worked, as all Emmett could think about now was sex—Edward's annoyed hiss was my dead give away—soon Rose and Emmett had to retire to their room for a few hours.

Jasper and I lounged on the couch, while Esme floated around the kitchen, preparing dinner for Bella, when she and Carlisle arrived home; while poor Edward was pacing the same five feet over and over again, worrying.

"What if they get into a fight?" Edward worried anxiously. "What if Bella gets hurt, what is something goes wrong and she wants to leave us again—leave me again—I would never survive that! What if Bella decided she does want to move back to Jacksonville with her mother..."

Esme darted out of the kitchen, pulling Edward into her embrace; trying to desperately calm him, as only a mother could do. "Stop worrying Edward, you know your father, would do everything in his power to stop that from happening. Bella will come home to you...to all of us."

"Ten minutes" I blurted out looking in the direction of the highway "Bella will be asleep."

Edward darted out to greet Carlisle and Bella; I flitted out to the front porch, Esme and Jasper trailing behind me. A deep sight of relief escaped Edward's lips when he saw Bella asleep in the passenger seat; Carlisle came to a gentle stop, just as Edward pulled the passenger side door open, freeing Bella of her seatbelt and gently lifting his sleeping into his arms.

"Poor thing was exhausted" Carlisle chuckled "I didn't get a chance to put the car in reverse before she was out like a light." Carlisle was greeted by Esme at the front door, kissing his cheek, to welcome him home.

It was a perfect family moment, when Rosalie and Emmett came down the stairs as Edward was turning to walk him and Bella to their room for the rest night; like a long silence, Bella's voice pierced the quiet of the house.

"Edward" Bella sighed lightly, curling her body closer to his, snuggling the side of her face into his chest. "Edward..."Bella sighed again, before going silent the rest of the night.

I laughed lightly shaking my head in disbelief and humour. "It's good to see, that not everything has changed about Bella." Agreeing with me in low voices; Edward disappeared up the stairs with Bella bridal style in his arms.

Tomorrow will be the true test of the new Bella...Shopping!

**A/N:** Hey all! I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to get another chapter up. My break up went a lot better than I expected...turns out HE is the one throwing himself a pity party. How lame!

I know it is kind of a short chapter and I do apologize for it now...I have still had a limited amount of time on my hands. Please Read and Review and don't forget to give some mad love to the best Beta in the world...


	34. Chapter 34

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Chapter 34

Edward's Point Of View

I had made my choice. I was not going to be side tracked no matter what Alice saw; I needed to know—we all needed to know—why the vision of Bella slitting her wrists in the meadow that day never happened.

I tried to prepare myself, for any possible answer; she was going to throw at me. I had thought of every possible answer of why Bella had made the choice, before abandoning it all together. It didn't make any sense to me; Bella was always one to stick to her choices like glue. Making the initial choice to acknowledge the options was Bella's only true time consuming choice; Bella was the master of procrastinating any and all choices until she no longer had a choice to look at both sides of the coin.

Keeping a respective distance from mine and Bella's room; Alice hovered down stairs, pacing the piano room, anxiously awaiting Bella's answer. Bella would be upset, but not overly; ten in the morning would be the mark of time that Bella would tell me. But what she would tell me was something Alice could not see; Bella had to be fully conscious to make a choice to answer or not.

Letting Bella get dressed in our room; I quickly darted down the stairs to the piano room to confer with Alice. "Anything yet, Alice?" I asked her anxiously; trying to desperately ignore the sounds of Bella's clothing slipping from her body and hitting the floor.

"No, sorry; I do see Bella and me going on a shoe hunt in three states." Alice said clapping her hands in happiness. "I also see us coming home empty handed, Bella extremely frustrated, and then overjoyed when her boyfriend happens to negotiate her favourite pair of ballerina flats. Fifty boxes Edward, Bella will be peppering your face in kisses and love for hours; along with a private dinner at a Greek restaurant."

"I wish I had known that yesterday!" I sighed angrily. "I will call every place in the world if I have too, and book the restaurant for dinner tomorrow night."

Alice snorted eyeing me up as if I insulted her. "Like you need to hunt down these shoes...you don't even know what they look like." Alice scoffed rolling her eyes at me, trying to hide her little pixy smile. "So I took the free time I had last night, and had a rush order made, tomorrow while Bella and I are shopping the shoes will arrive, and your sweet Bella's world will be put right again."

"Oh...you're good." I teased her rolling my eyes.

"I know!" Alice smiled brightly, "Now sit your ass down and play, Bella is coming down the stairs in exactly thirty seconds, give her an extra twenty seconds to actually reach the bottom of the stairs."

Taking off like a rocket, towards her and Jasper's bedroom; throwing her tiny body in his open arms, kissing him with a heated passion. Our family patently waiting to hear Bella's answers—good or bad—no matter what the answer was...we would still love her.

"The best possible way to be welcomed in the morning...well at least one of them." Bella's sweet voice traveled down the staircase towards me.

"My compositions pale in comparison to you my love; nothing in this world, is more beautiful than you." I said, my voice laced with nothing but the truth; Bella's warm body pressing against mine, as my hands danced effortlessly on the black and ivory keys. "How did you sleep darling?" I asked as she kissed my cheek, taking the open spot, I had left for her.

"I slept like a baby." Bella said chuckling "I can't remember a time when I was so exhausted. I had forgotten what Alice and eight or more hours can do to you in a shopping mall one day and a therapy session the next." The tone of regret coloured Bella's voice, her hands lay limp in her lap and her head now resting on my shoulder; I placed a lingering kiss on the crown of Bella's head. "Now everything is perfect."

"Perfect?" I challenged smirking. "A day of shopping in three states, coming home empty handed, because no one will have the shoe you are searching for my Bella. I hardly see anything 'perfect' in that darling. "I teased her nudging her lightly with my elbow.

"Okay...not perfect yet." Bella pouted. "But it will be once you take me for dinner to a Greek restaurant I have been dying to go to; apparently they have the best Souvlaki in all of Seattle." Bella informed me, the tiny pout gone from her lips. "What is on our agenda for the day, today?" She asked in a light airy voice.

Bella was in a good mood today—I was about to ruin it.

"Before we get on with today's agenda, love, I have something rather..." I wasn't sure what word to use; Bella waited patiently and totally unaware of what I was about to ask. "Unsettling to ask you; I think that is the word I want to use."

"Unsettling?" Bella echoed confused. "Well...what is it?" Bella pressed. A look of concern flashed across my love's flawless features.

My stomach clenched at the sight of anything but happiness and joy on her beautiful face."Well, it's a rather sensitive..."

"For crying out loud Edward, just spit it out!" Bella sighed frustrated. "I'm not going to leave again...ever." She promised me, cupping my cheek with her warm hand.

"I want to know, why Alice's vision of you, slitting your wrist in our meadow, didn't come to fruition." I blurted out in a rush of words; unable to be sure is she caught them all. Had I spoken too fast?

To my absolute amazement, Bella let out a small little giggle, shaking her head in disbelief. "I'm shocked and disappointed." Bella replied in a serious tone, than her unnecessary giggle of shock. "You of all people should know that answer; it should have made sense to you the moment Alice saw it."

In a rush of anger, I shoved the piano bench away from me, and paced the room; trying to think of what Bella was trying to tell me that day. I heard mashing of the piano keys, as Bella caught herself from falling off the piano bench, as I wretched myself away.

Had I missed the hidden message? Was she telling me this to ease my fears for the future? Was Alice's vision totally and completely wrong? Why would she have made the choice to slit her wrist and not go through with it at the last second?

Bella had turned her body to face mine, keeping a calm look on her face—Bella was waiting for me to figure it out for myself; her silent mind was a like the most impossible math equation and rubrics cube melded into one giant puzzle piece.

Never to be solved.

After five minutes of pacing, Bella got up and walked away, darting to her side; I grabbed her wrist, tugging her to a gentle stop. "Where are you going?" I demanded angrily. The look of shock on Bella's face was too much for me—the memory of me shoving her out the door of our room, slamming the door in her face—I quickly dropped her wrist.

"It is breakfast time, for some of us." Bella smirked; offering her hand to me as she walked towards the kitchen. I felt like an overprotective fool. Mentally I chided myself for placing my hands on her without her permission. "Would you care to join me, while you try and figure out the conundrum I have puzzled your mind with my love." Bella teased, grabbing a box of cereal from the pantry; while I grabbed Bella's bowl, spoon and the carton of milk.

"You are going to make me figure it out on my own, aren't you?" I grumbled.

Bella's coy smile, mixed with the twinkle in her eyes was a deadly combination; Bella was silently boasting. "What good is going to come of me telling you when you can figure it out on your own?" Bella asked darkly, "What's the matter my darling...can't you read my mind?" She taunted, backing away from the counter; towards the back door. "Are you not enjoying the little riddle, I have given you? Maybe the other's hiding out in their rooms will figure it out before you."

"You know, you will never make it half a step before I catch you Bella." I chuckled shaking my head.

"Thirty second head start?"

"You're still not going to make it very far, love; you will be lucky to make it to the trees, before I catch you."

"How, very true," Bella said, agreeing with me. "But no matter how far I go; at any given speed...you will always find me."

"Of course, I would?" My reply came out as more a question than an answer.

"You don't sound very confident about that." Bella retorted; I hissed at the insult.

"I would go to the ends of the earth to look for you!" I snapped angrily. "I would kill every single person that stood between you and me." I vowed to her. "I would tear the whole world apart, until you were safe in my arms again! I would die for you; I would do anything you asked of me to please you. I am yours for all eternity." I vowed to her. Not noticing her subtly retreating figure; Bella took in the situation around her. I was confused.

"I knew that already," Bella grinned, taking a few steps backwards; her words had distracted me enough, to pay no mind her to still retreating figure. Bella was very nearly off the porch by this time; one step to go, until she hit the ground. "But the point I am trying to make is what would happen if, I were suddenly to disappear...forever?"

"I couldn't live without you Bella," I whispered to her.

"Edward; remember...I am a hundred times easier to kill than you."

Like a bolt of lightning it hit me. How stupid could I have been all of these months? Of course Bella would want to rid herself of the world, if I had died; just as I would do the same, if it were her that was to vanish from the world of the living.

"And you couldn't live without me." I answered simply; feeling like a complete idiot.

"Bingo!" Bella said.

By now Bella was more than half way across the yard, and into the trees. "Now do us both a favour and claim what has always rightfully been yours, Edward. Since the day I was born." Bella purred, slipping behind a tree; leaving me with my mouth hanging wide open in utter disbelief. "Every inch of my skin, every beat of my heart, every breath that I take...has always and will always be yours, for the taking."

"_Mine!"_I suddenly hissed; it was like my body was running on auto pilot; the thought of Bella's body and soul belonging to only me, stirred something possessive in me. Almost as if it were a warning for other men to stay away from my mate, I felt a very strong urge to claim what was mine; to claim Bella. _"You are mine."_

"Always and forever, my love," Bella whispered from some place deep inside the forest.

I took off into the forest at my best speed, to claim what was mine—my Bella—what I found waiting for me, nearly drove me to the brink of my insanity...

**A/N:**Sorry for the cliffy...but I just couldn't help myself. Any guesses on why Bella lured Edward into the woods. I am hoping to update soon. Please be patient!

Please Review!


	35. Chapter 35

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Chapter 35

Jasper's Point Of View

In all of my decades, I had never felt such heartache and pain; my Alice was utterly broken, by Bella's swift and sudden departure. Esme and Carlisle were not only heart broken, but felt as though, they had failed Bella and Edward as parents; both Carlisle and Esme, found it hard to keep there emotions hidden from me, when I was around. Emmett looked as if someone had killed his puppy; not to mention felt as someone had killed his puppy. Rosalie had a hard time comforting him; Bella was his favourite little sister. Rosalie put up a good front, on her emotions and most likely her thoughts as well; she was always the hardest to read.

Then there was Edward.

To say that he went crazy, twelve hours after Bella had left the house, was an understatement. His emotions were so chaotic, that I had a hard time being within a hundred mile radius of him. I never blamed him; then again, I never blamed Bella either.

Waves of crippling despair, rolled off of him so strongly, it took Emmett and Rosalie, to drag me out of the house; it was paralyzing sometimes and other times, I felt nothing from him—nothing but numbness—it was a little disorienting sometimes. I tried to be as discreet as possible when Edward felt numb, but I managed to get as close as I dared, without angering him; using the numb feeling to drown out all of the other strong and crippling emotions around the house. A few times, I could spread around the house, to the others and let the numbness, drown out all our pain.

If we were feeling like this, I could only imagine what Bella felt like right now, and of course a low growl from Edward, warned me to change my topic of choice.

It had been almost three months, since any of us had heard from Bella. Alice tried her hardest to block out her visions of Bella; not that Alice had a lot of visions these days—most of us did nothing these two months—but when she did have the odd one, a cry of pain escaped her lips, and I rushed to comfort her.

I never asked for any information on Alice's visions of Bella; and Alice, never offered any.

"Do you think she will ever come back Jazzy?" Alice whispered to me one night, while Emmett and Carlisle practically dragged Edward of the house to hunt. "Do you think she will ever contact us?"

The hope, my wife felt in that moment, was not only uplifting to the onslaught of negative emotions that loomed in the air these past few weeks; but also deeply welcome. I did my best to radiate it around the house; Esme and Rosalie sighing in unison—in relief—I only wished that Edward, Carlisle and Emmett could have been here to experience it as well.

"I don't know, darling," I whispered back to her. "Knowing Bella, she is doing what she thinks is right to fix what ever she thinks is necessary."

"You're right."

"Personally, I think...that Bella, has been through a lot in her life, and she finally just boiled over. She doesn't relate to humans very well, and the only other people in her life are us and the wolves." I mused, trying to get all of these thoughts out of my mind, before Edward and the other guys got back. "As much as she tried to play 'the peacekeeping' role; the wolves try to poison her against us and try and sway her into giving up our secrets to them. We are no better—well Edward really—telling her that they are dangerous, when they have done nothing but keep her safe, while we were absent, all those months."

'Again, you're right," Alice smirked at me, snuggling into my side on the bed.

"It's not about being right Ali." I said to her; I could feel her nod, while keeping my gaze fixed on the ceiling. "With everything that has happened to her...I honestly think she just needed a serious break, to clear her head; I know better than most, how much Bella, loves Edward—quite frankly, it was ridiculous, on our part too think Bella could only feel as much as a human was allowed—Bella breaks more human barriers, than most of our kind."

That particular conversation felt a hundred years ago now.

Bella has been back for months now, and I have never seen or rather felt, Edward and Bella so happy before; the family was just as jovial to have Bella back and our family whole once again.

It was hard to stand in one spot for any length of time; I felt as though I was being tugged in a hundred million directions at one time—thankfully it was not an uncomfortable feeling—Bella said she knew exactly how I felt. When I asked her to elaborate on that, she said that was what it was like to have hormones and to be human; to feel a mix of emotions all at the same time, and trying to sort through them all was mentally and emotionally exhausting.

"Thankfully, I don't feel the actual tug and pull of my battling of my emotions...but I do know it happens, and on a microsecond timer too." She said as I could do nothing but laugh; Edward was standing behind us, beaming with so much happiness, I thought I would burst from it all.

The emotional and mental scars, in our family would eventually feel.

Father/ daughter relationships would recover nicely, and best friends would soon, once again become sisters. Feuding siblings would soon become friends, and slowly progress into sisterhood. Mother and daughter would soon reconcile and bloom, from where they had been frozen. Far parted siblings would soon test the waters, into becoming very good friends, and then onto brother and sister. Brother and sister, would eventually find there happy balance once again and it would be as if nothing had parted them to begin with.

There was but one more pairing left.

The lover's

The vampire and human

The man and woman

The beauty and the beast

Edward and Bella

The two most unlikely pair of people to meet and fall in love, had become the broken hearted and nearly defeated people in the world; but with some deep soul searching, they had become, far more than I or any of us had ever imagined.

Bella and Edward could and would survive anything and everything life through at the.

And as a family, as an indivisible unit...we would fight for them and with them.

Battles of emotions were fought everyday—no one knows that better than I do—but a fight that we came out on top of each and everyday.

**A/N: **So I know I haven't updated in a long while, and I am very sorry for that, but I was having trouble finding this chapter in myself. I didn't ever think of this chapter until I sat down to type. The words just seemed to flow out of me.

I know it's a short chapter, I only hope my next one is longer.

What did you think of this chapter? What did you like or didn't like?

Please Review!


	36. Chapter 36

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Chapter 36

Edward's Point Of View

It took me less time to register what was on the ground in front of me than Bella's still retreating figure, into the forest. Deeper and deeper she went, meant the farther away from me she was; Bella's top was laying crumpled in a pile on the forest floor with a trail of all of her other items of clothing strewn along in a line.

Half of my mind registered the pleasure of knowing that Bella was some place in the forest nearly half naked, while the other half of my mind was acting on my vampuric instinct to protect what was mine—a half naked human woman, with an all to tempting scent and magnificent body, would call to many man; human and supernatural alike.

Standing completely still, and cutting the oxygen off from my lungs, I concentrated on listening for any other persons in the surrounding area; it took less than half of my attention to keep an ear open for Bella—with all of the noise she was making, even I were blind I would have no trouble seeking her out—an extremely open target.

Gently plucking her shirt of the ground, I lifted it to my face, inhaling her scent; with a new breath of oxygen. I could see the trail Bella had left for me; it was all to tempting to just ignore the trail of bread crumbs, abandon the trail and hop into the trees. But I couldn't, Bella would be upset if I didn't play her way.

"You would think that someone, who had so much more ability than other's, would have found me by now." Bella teased; her care-free giggle was just as easy to detect as her racing heart or the sound her feet made when she came in contact with the ground.

Losing the trail of imaginary bread crumbs behind, with a gentle leap off the ground and into the trees, I tracked my love, so much easier; nearly two miles ahead of me. Glancing over her shoulder every thirty seconds; I stalked her from up above, landing half a foot behind her.

"Hello, my love; are you missing something?" I asked her in a gentle teasing tone.

Whirling around in surprise, Bella nearly toppled, ass-over-tea-kettle, when she tried to step back; she didn't get far, before my excellent reflexes had caught and straightened her out.

"What am I going to do with you Bella?" I chuckled, ignoring the slight pout on her lips.

"I could tell you...but I may have to kill you." Bella sniffed, a wicked glint flashed in her eyes, and I felt a jolt of pleasure flash through my body. "Easier said than done...but I'm pretty sure, I have you wrapped around my finger enough to keep you alive."

I could do nothing but gawk at her; her skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat, her hair slightly tangled from the light breeze, her eyes, dancing with joy and amusement. The rise and fall of her chest, as she drank in the fresh, clean, crisp air of the forest; and the only way to describe the sight in front of me was perfection.

"So much for a thirty second head start," Bella laughed. "You were rather easy to out run; maybe the next time..."

That snapped me back to reality; there would be no next time, how could she think there would be a next time. "Next time!" I snapped, tossing her clothes in her face. "There won't be a next time Bella; wandering around half naked. What if someone saw you? What if you had run into something...like...gee...I don't know a bear?"

A flash of hurt swept over her eyes; almost too fast for me to see it happen, and, a furious, crimson blush filler her cheeks, traveling to the edge of her hair line. I wanted nothing more than to take back the words that had left my mouth not, only too harshly, but too quickly as well.

Reaching for her, trying to find a way to make it better, Bella pulled away, shaking her head, and her arms trying to cover what ever she had exposed.

I felt awful inside; Bella had only tried to entice me. I was playing her game—I had metaphorically blown the whistle to her game, and shut it down, without even giving her a chance to make a full play.

"Bella," I said, trying to get her to talk to me.

"I don't know what's worse." Bella sighed angrily. "The fact that you are so overprotective of me to enjoy the simplest amount of pleasure; or the fact you just flat out don't want anything to do anything remotely pleasurable with me. I thought we were past this Edward."

I mentally kicked myself for overreacting...again. How did I explain this without being an ass?

"I'm an ass."

Bella burst out laughing, letting her arms fall to her sides; her glorious chest on display for me once again. To say I was pleased to see her laughing at me would be an understatement; her care free laugh, coupled with her beautiful and perfect mounds of flesh rising and falling with her deep breaths of air.

"I'm sorry," She apologized trying to gain her composure. "It's just that, I wasn't expecting that and you rarely ever curse in front of me." She said still trying to gain her composure. "It was quite refreshing actually; kinda sexy."

"Well...if we are being...honest..."I stuttered like an imbecile, desperately trying not to stare at her chest and into her eyes. "You certainly did catch me off guard...and if I may say, it is a wonderfully delicious sight to behold."

The next words out of her mouth made my jaw drop and my cock twitch in my pants.

"Touch me Edward." She whispered closing the gap between us. "I only ever want your touch; no one else's." The emotion in her voice was begging me to touch her; while her eyes reflected trust and love and lust.

The warmth of her body heat swirled around me, warming me from the inside out; I knew that if I was stupid enough to reject her simple request now, I would hurt her so deeply and loose so much with her. Though she would forgive me—eventually—she would always carry the hurt and rejection with her.

"I'm scared." I admitted in a low voice. "I don't want to hurt you; I don't trust myself enough to not hurt you, Bella."

"You won't hurt me Edward; I know you, and you could never hurt me." She said with an encouraging smile on her lips. "Do you trust me?" She asked suddenly, taking me off guard for the third time today.

"Of course, I do Bella."

Without words, Bella turned away from me, her back moulding to my chest. Taking both of my hard, cold hands in her little warm ones—the blood rushing and flowing under her paper thin skin, was a distraction on it's own—wrapping our arms over her waist; I let Bella guide my hands to where she wanted them to go.

I could feel goose bumps rise on her skin as she placed our hands on flat of her naked stomach, my middle fingers were able to feel the outline of her bellybutton; she shivered lightly in my arms, a low moan of pleasure left both our lips. Giving us a moment to enjoy this simple pleasure; Bella started to life our arms, my finger tips able to feel each of her individual rib as she lifted our hands higher and higher.

Without warning, Bella took both of my hands off her stomach, and placed them on her breasts; I stopped breathing. My first instinct was to move my hands all over her chest; cup her beautiful breasts in my hands, pinch and tease her hardened nipples between my fingers. To blow my cool breath on her skin and watch how it would pebble and tighten at the new sensation, to take each breast in my mouth and devour them with my lips, tongue and hands, to place gentle kisses on every inch of her skin.

With each fantasy that passed through my mind at the speed of light, my now throbbing erection was painfully hard and begging for Bella's soft and warm touch. I was nearly lost in my own euphoria when Bella would move her body against mine, brushing against my aching member.

A low moan of pleasure snapped me out my silent stupor; I was a fool to think that I could pull away now and have Bella be happy or myself me happy for that matter.

I still hadn't taken a breath; I was far too frightened to breathe yet.

Keeping her hands on mine still, Bella moved our hands together, in a small circular motion, her supple skin moving underneath my highly sensitive hands; it was my turn to moan in pleasure, using some of my stored up oxygen.

Slowly Bella released my hands from hers, to wrap her arms around my neck, and twine her fingers in my hair; she was giving me a choice in this moment, to stop touching her or to keep going on my own and do as I please.

I was so torn.

Did I show her that I wasn't afraid of hurting her and continue this single most simply amazing and pleasurable act or pull away and hoped she was satisfied with had already occurred.

Taking a deep cleansing breath was all the decision I needed. Bella's scent mixed with her arousal, hit me like a swift and hard punch to the stomach; I was so caught up in my internal dilemma that I hadn't noticed Bella's soft moans and breathless pants in my ear. I scolded myself for being so caught up in my own internal struggles that I had totally missed what was going on in front of me.

Taking the chance to look down at what I was doing; my hands were already doing all the work for me. Lightly pinching Bella's nipples in between my thumbs and pointer fingers was one of my daily fantasies.

"I'm not hurting you." I whispered to myself, to low for Bella to hear; I was jovial inside, I thought I would burst from the intense satisfaction and pleasure of it all. "I can touch you and hurt you!"

As if she heard me speaking to myself, Bella let out a cry of pleasure. "So good!" Bella panted out. "Oh, god Edward, don't stop...so good...sweetest torture."

"I have no intentions of stopping my love," I rasped. "But I would rather take a small break to get you behind closed doors and away from prying eyes." I murmured gently kissing her temple.

I handed her bra and shirt back to her; once she was covered up we walked back to the house with our hands linked together. I tried as best I could to block out all of the inane chatter in my head from our family's thoughts and lead Bella to our room.

I locked the door behind me with a tiny flick of my wrist, locking everyone out and encasing us in.

A/N: I know I totally suck because I have been away so long and haven't updated in forever...but I'm back and giving you a new chapter with an awesome cliffy! I know...I'm evil!

Don't forget to review! The more I get the faster the chapters come!


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: I know it has been forever since I have posted anything...but I plan to make up for it with this extra long and extra lemony chapter!

I Do Not Own Anything Twilight

Chapter 37

Bella POV

I barley had time to register where I was before I was gently tossed on the bed and found Edward lying beside me.I quickly twisted my face until my lips were moulded to his; my hands threaded themselves in his hair clutching him closer to my body, I could feel every line of his body against mine.

Eagerly Edward's intensity matched my own; his cold hands gripping my waist gently, rolling us, so I was now on top of his body. I quickly changed my position until I was straddling him; his lips traveled down my jaw to my throat, kissing gentle patterns along my jugular vein.

I moaned into the crook of his neck, kissing my own pattern across his clothed shoulder. "This must come off" I panted tugging on his shirt "now."

Wordlessly Edward shed his shirt tossing it to the side of the room; my fingers instinctually traced the contours of his chest and abdomen. Rewarding me with a hiss of pleasure from his lips—I felt powerful, in control—pushing his boundaries once again, I managed to grip the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head, tossing it in the same direction; Edward had thrown his own shirt.

I heard his breath catch in his throat as my skin pressed against his; I moaned in pleasure, crushing my body recklessly close to his. It was ice. It was fire. The electricity hummed between us, flicking against my skin, causing my blood to boil in my veins. My heart accelerated and hammered in my chest like a beating ram; vibrating against my ribs, almost painfully.

I needed more of him; I wanted to claw his skin open with my bare hands, and bury myself into his body, enclosing myself in his for all eternity, I scratched at his skin gently with my nails, adding more force with each pass across his chest.

"Bella," he whimpered against my skin of my throat. "Bella," Edward whimpered again.

God he was sexy when he whimpered like that.

Reaching around with one arm, I used the one handed technique to unhook my bra, letting it fall down my shoulders; I briefly heard a ripping noise, before I realized he had torn the straps of my bra, tossing it with our shirts on the floor.

"You owe me a new bra Mr. Cullen," I gasped as his fingers crawled up the side of my ribs, cupping each one of my breasts tenderly with each of his palms; it was my turn to whimper at his touch.

"I will buy you a hundred more." He promised, gently rolling us, so he was hovering over me. Edward's breath caught in his throat, his eyes popped wide, revealing his pure love, devotion and adoration to me; he hungrily swept his gaze over my half naked body. "You are the most beautiful creature, I have ever seen in my entire existence; your body is exquisite Bella." He told me breathless.

I wasn't one to toot my own horn; but over the course of our time apart, I had sculpted my own figure: my abs were more prominent, my arms were toned and lean, not to mention I had slimmed down two dress sizes—I was now a size three; instead of a five.

"Not so bad yourself, Mr." I teased, bringing his lips back to my own; Edward chuckled breathless against my lips.

We spent what seemed like hours exploring each other's bodies, taking our time; it wasn't until Edward's cold hand gently tugged at the waist of my jeans, we heard a knock on the door.

"Go away Alice!" Edward hissed. "We are busy; we have all day to go shopping, now leave us alone." Another hiss escaped Edwards's lips for a completely different reason; I had raised my hips to meet his, causing friction against his erection, gently reminding him of my waiting body.

I didn't know if Alice had left or if he was simply ignoring her now, but his fingers made quick work of the button and zipper on my jeans; slipping them off with one fluid movement, adding them to the pile on the floor. With a tug and a rip my panties were now destroyed; and again his hungry gaze ravaged my now fully naked body. Another moan escaped Edward's lips.

"I could stare at your body for the rest of my limitless existence," He growled low, possessively. "Never tiring of the sight in front of me." He ran his fingers gently from the tip of my shoulder down the length of my body, to my hip bones, gently caressing me. "You're so beautiful it hurts."

I grinned at him rolling my hips to meet his again, and I again was rewarded with another pleasured possessive growl. A few seconds later Edward had shed his pants and boxer's, another item to add to our ever growing pile of clothes.

"If I hurt you Bella…"

I cut him off, pressing my fingers to his lips, "I trust you not to hurt me Edward." I whispered lovingly; he kissed my fingers that covered his lips, before moving my hand to my side. "I love you Edward."

"As I love you; my love."

He positioned himself at my dripping wet entrance "This will hurt a little Bella, I won't move until you tell me to." He promised me locking his gaze with mine; I nodded, giving him my permission and promise.

Gently easing inside my body, I felt a tiny little burst inside my body, along with the faint smell of rust and salt; I ignored the smell easily, when I heard Edward hiss in my ear.

"Oh god Bella," He groaned low. "So soft, so warm, so tight, so perfect; your body is heaven."

"I'm alright Edward," I whispered. "Please…please," I pleaded. "I need you Edward." I grabbed his jaw, forcing his face to mine, crushing my lips to his with a desperate passion; moving my hips to meet his, Edward slipped deeper inside me, causing me to gasp in pleasure. "Edward," I whimpered "You feel so good."

Trying to keep his movements controlled Edward gently slid himself out of me, pushing his way back in to my throbbing wet core; I ached for him to move more.

"Please Edward, I need more," I groaned into his neck. "I need all of you…so good, god you feel so good!"

Placing each arm on either side of my head, being careful of his weight, Edward gave into my pleas; I gasped a little in surprise. I had no thousand words to hold to this pleasure; it was more than I ever expected it to be. Picking up his pace, Edward grunted into my neck, gently sucking on my skin.

I locked my legs Edward's waist, digging my heels into his back, causing his throbbing erection to slide deeper into the core of my body; I could feel my walls clenching him tightly, Edward was a man with length and girth.

Our kisses became more and more fevered with each passing minute; I could feel an unfamiliar tightening in my stomach, a flush of heat flashed across my skin at an alarming rate, and my walls clenched Edward's erection in a death grip. "Edward!" I cried out as my first orgasm burst through my body at what seemed like the speed of light; leaving me breathless and hungry for more.

Gripping my hips with a controlled force, Edward brought my hips to meet his, rolling his hips, his erection finding my sweet spot instantly; I cried out in pure unadulterated bliss "Oh, god Edward; I'm going…oh god, yes," I palmed my breasts "Oh, god I'm going to cum!" I screeched panting.

"So tight," Edward growled, "God, you are so fucking tight!"

That right there was my undoing; another orgasm shook my body to its very core. "Oh god that was sexy!" I hissed.

Flipping us gently, while Edward's massive erection stayed tucked away in my burning hot core; I was now on top, riding him. I placed my hands on his each one of his legs, leaning my body back; my head fell back my hair brushing up against my back, and his legs. Rolling my hips with a fast steady rhythm; I panted, whimpered and moaned in pleasure.

"I'm going to cum Edward," I cried. "So fucking hard!" My walls clenched tightly around him, earning a deep growl from Edward's chest. "God, I love it when you do that; so sexy, so hot." Another growl rumbled in his chest and I lost it again.

Needing more friction, I moved one hand to tease and taunt my bundle of nerves; rubbing my swollen clit with a steady pace until I reached the pinnacle of my pleasure. A scream of pleasure burst out my throat, shooting through two octaves.

Edward was not far behind.

"I can't hold on any longer Bella," He hissed through clenched teeth. "I'm going to…oh god Bella…Bella!"

"Cum for me Edward." I moaned switching my position quickly; placing my hands on his chest, I ground my hips, forcing Edward to penetrate me as deeply as he could go.

"Bella…Bella", He chanted. "Don't stop, I'm so close." He whimpered gripping the headboard with his hands; the weak wrought iron steel frame groaned against his strength.

"Holy fuck, that is so fucking hot!" I panted still grinding my hips against his body. "Please Edward" I begged "Cum with me…please!"

My begging did not go unheard; Edward's orgasm rippled through his body, shuddering violently, under mine. I felt my walls clench his member one last time, as his pleasure growl filled the room in satisfaction, my own shriek of pleasure ripping through my own body.

Utterly spent my body collapsed on top his chest; the only noise that could be heard now was my pounding heart, and our ragged breathless panting.

"Mmmm," I hummed after a few moments of comfortable silence; letting our breathing and my heart slow to its normal pattern.

"What love?"

"Nothing, I am one hundred percent totally, completely, utterly blissed out."

"I know exactly what you mean love," Edward murmured against my hair. "It is nice to know that I have that much control; I didn't hurt you at all."

"See." I teased. "I told you; you could have sex with me _and_ not hurt me."

Quickly grabbing the golden comforter off the floor; Edward covered our naked bodies, seconds before Emmett came crashing through the door, with a huge grin on his face.

"Finally!" Emmett boomed. "I thought it would never happen…ever!" I couldn't help but chuckle. "Here I thought you two would be virgins for all of eternity."

"Emmett!" Edward growled irritated, "get out…now!"

"Was he good Bella? I thought we were gonna go deaf, with all of the screaming you did."

I guess the thought of me screaming his name did something; I could feel his hard as rock cock, against my hip bone, I couldn't help but moan out in pleasure.

"Get out Emmett," I whimpered as Edward readjusted my body so his length was nestled deep inside me; shifting his weight a little Edward moved inside me. "Oh, yes Edward, oh god, right there!"

"Right here love?" He panted "This is where you need me?"

"Fuck, yes!" I hissed "God your cock is so big inside me; fuck me Edward. Fuck me hard…"

Neither one of us cared if Emmett was standing there watching us; throwing off the comforter Edward flipped us once again, diving himself deep inside me.

"Oh Edward…make me cum…please…let me cum."

"Christ Bella!" He hissed. "You're so sexy when you beg me to let you cum."

'_Well in that case'_ I thought smugly _'if you really want to hear me beg…'_

"Please Edward," I begged unashamed. "Please let me come!" I whimpered innocently, gazing into his golden eyes with nothing but lust. "Fuck me hard and make me cum…please Edward."

Plunging into me; Edward slammed my body tightly to his; earning a whimper of pleasure from my lips. "You are playing a very dangerous game, my love." He growled at me. "Beg me again, and see what happens." He taunted growling at me playfully, gently nipping at my breasts with his teeth; being careful not to break the skin.

I worked up as much innocence as I could in this sort of situation to plead with him again to let me cum. "Please Edward…let me cum for you, make me scream your name, claim me as yours for all eternity."

A possessive growl ripped out of Edward's chest violently; his fingers gripping my hips with as much force as he dared hold me with, "Mine!" He growled again. "You are mine! I will kill anyone who dares touch you, tries to take you away from me."

"God, that is so fucking sexy!" I moaned "You are so fucking sexy when you are possessive; the thought of you tearing someone limb from limb, covered in their blood…oh god…that is so hot!"

That sobered Edward up instantly—apparently I had gone a little too far—eyeing me up cautiously; he looked at me over with confused eyes.

"What?" I laughed breathlessly. "You think all of my dreams of you are all puppies and rainbows...I think not; I am not as innocent as you give me credit for." I giggled darkly. "Do you honestly think that with you being a vampire— with everything I have seen you do with your strength and speed—I didn't have any dark kinky dreams? I hate to burst your bubble babe...but...you have done some very bad, naughty things to me in my dreams."

The look of shock on Edward's face was priceless beyond words.

"Do you have any idea how many times you have dismembered Mike Newton in my darkest fantasies, how many times you have bitten me in places you only discovered today, how many times you have purposely scratched my skin until I bled; while your tongue licks over every wound, healing my body...over and over again. Or how many times you have gripped me all too tightly while I scream your name in pure ecstasy; so many naughty dreams!" I shivered in pleasure, moaning as I palmed my breasts, squeezing them tightly in each hand.

"You...have no idea Bella...no idea at all...how turned on, I am right now; I could do every single one of those things to you." Edward growled in my ear, gripping my hips tightly, causing me to moan. "In time...when I have more control; I will do whatever it is you desire."

"Keep talking..." I moaned. "Please touch me Edward...I want you...Fuck me please!"

A growl rumbled deep in his chest; he pinned my arms above my head. "Such a dangerous creature, you are." Without warning Edward snapped his teeth at the skin of my throat, with an audible snap; snarls and hisses rising in throat. "So dangerous, yet so utterly helpless to escape my grasp; nothing and no one to stop me from devouring you, draining you dry of your sweet floral life blood."

Edward lifted my body gently onto his raging member, holding my hips to his, while I rocked with a slow but steady rhythm; I couldn't help the cry of pleasure from my lips, as he hit my sweet spot.

"Please Edward," I begged him. Needing nothing more, than to have his lips, hands, and skin against every part of me. "Take me any way you want...I'll give you all of me." I cried frantically trying to pull him to me.

"Jesus Bella," He hissed between clenched teeth. "Do you know how _dangerous_ those words are?" He demanded moaning; a sweet delicious sound.

"Yes!" I cried out answering his question, and letting out a breathless pant of pleasure.

A deep rumbling growl in Edward's chest vibrated my body; my clit wept with joy as the vibrations from Edward's growl teased my bundle of nerves. "Dangerous...so fucking dangerous." Edward sat up so our bodies were pressed together; line by line our skin met and rubbed against each other.

Fire and Ice surviving in the most pleasurable of ways.

Edward's lips crashed with mine. Our bodies pressed against each other as tightly as we could get without me getting hurt. Our hips meeting thrust for thrust. My nipples sliding up against Edward's cold marble body was a pleasure of it's own kind; I didn't know how much longer I would last.

Being human and all ya know.

"Please Edward...I want to cum...I need to cum." I panted breathlessly against his lips. "Make me cum hard...so fucking hard!"

"I _could_ let the monster out to play; let him have his way with you. Feed his constant craving for you, sink my teeth, into your delicate flesh; listen to you scream in agony, feel your luscious fragile body writhe in my unbreakable hold...all why I fuck you violently, and bathe in your blood."

My orgasm ripped out of me so hard and fast—I nearly passed out, the pleasure was far too much, but I needed him so much—I screeched Edward's name along with a long line of expletives I didn't know I knew. Edward soon followed, his body stilled against mine, his face buried in my neck as he moaned my name like it was a prayer to the heavens.

"Kinky little minx," Edward chuckled dark, against the skin of my neck. "We're lucky, I have such a tight grip on the monster's leash, or I might have slipped."

"Are you trying to kill me with orgasms?"

"Maybe, I am; but I think, the monster has had enough for the day; besides it's almost noon and Alice is going stir crazy down stairs."

"Tonight...the monster is mine." I threatened kissing his cheek. "Now let the fragile little lamb go shower, so we can go...you owe me another shopping trip."

Releasing me from his grip, I rolled out of bed, heading towards the shower; in twenty minutes, I was dressed and fully presentable to wait for Edward down stairs.

"Finally!" Alice sighed. "I thought we were never going to be able to go; I have a whole line of shops on our list of places to go...and please...please tell me you are over your aversion to lingerie."

"Did you hear us upstairs?" I laughed shaking my head making my way towards the kitchen; only to be stopped by Emmett.

His eyes wide, weeping over my frame in disbelief "You have made me so proud little sister; who knew, the little Bella that left, to come back a kinky little minx. Looks like Rose and I are going to have some fierce competition."

"You bet your ass; you do."

"Poor Jasper was going nuts down here; I have never seen the guy wound so tight before, he looked like he was going to devour Alice on the living room floor. We were practically inhaling the sexual energy!"

"I think I detect a hint of Jealousy, Emmett." I snickered at him.

"No!" Emmett snarled. "What do I have to be jealous over?" He huffed angrily, his chest puffing out defensively; he was so easy to tease and get worked up—especially when you knew the right buttons to push.

"Sure, you're not," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "Edward," I sang skipping into the kitchen in my zebra print Jimmy Choo stilettos. "Emmett is jealous, of us, and he's in denial!" I was practically singing my little heart out with glee at this new turn of events.

"I am not!" Emmett roared. "What in the hell do I have to be jealous about? I have been having sex since before your great grandparents were dead and gone!"

I couldn't help the tinkling giggle that left my lips, Emmett stormed into the kitchen behind me, as I was pouring myself a glass of milk. Emmett stood across from me, on the other side of the Island in the middle of the kitchen, glaring at me with a sour expression on his face, daring me to continue my little teasing rant.

"I'm sorry...was that comment supposed to hurt my feelings?" I smirked clutching my hands to my chest in mock hurt, with my glass of milk still in hand. "Nice job, Emmett..." I snickered. "I only knew the one grandmother; and you managed to pick the two people in this world that I know nothing about, in ordered to hurt my feelings...you are getting soft old man."

Emmett's face went slack, his jaw hit the floor, eyes bugging from his head; I could hear laughter all throughout the house. Edward was laughing harder than I had ever seen him laugh before as he, Alice and Jasper rounded the corner into the kitchen; Jasper held up one hand for a high five, while his other was gripping the counter for unneeded support.

Emmett said nothing as he left the kitchen, his eyes blazed in anger, his fists balled up tight in anger, his posture stiff.

I couldn't resist the next words that came out of my mouth. "Hey, Emmett...if you are off to lick your wounds...don't break anything trying too hard...old man!"

That did it; Jasper's hand slipped off the edge of the counter and toppled over he was laughing so hard, Alice had gracefully slunk to the ground against the fridge, and Edward was doubled over in laughter sitting on a bar stool beside me. And me...well I was fixing myself something to eat with the biggest shit eating grin on my face.

"Nearly three decades..." Edward laughed. "Since Emmett has been put in his place like that...you my love, may have just done the impossible!"

"He is going to sulk for weeks!" Alice giggled.

The room was slowly shifting back to a calmer atmosphere; Jasper was no longer on the ground, Alice had risen, just as gracefully as she had slid to the ground, and Edward came to wrap his arms around my waist giving me a gentle squeeze.

"Dear sister," Jasper grinned at me proudly. "I have not laughed that long and hard in a very long time; it was so worth it."

"It was, wasn't it?" Carlisle chuckled; coming into the kitchen with Esme by his side. "I think you gave him a run for his money Bella."

"The big monkey, needed to learn a lesson." I chuckled. "Besides...he had it coming." I said sliding my turkey sandwich onto a plate, I had grabbed from the cupboard. Everyone but Edward and Alice had dispersed from the kitchen, patiently waiting for me to finish my lunch—well as patient as Alice can be.

"Feel better now that you have eaten?" Edward asked kissing my temple; Esme had come whizzing into the kitchen, taking the plate from right in front of me.

I nodded; seeming my last bite was still in my mouth, being chewed. I swallowed, guzzling my last bit of milk, wiped my face with my napkin. "Thanks momma," I said before hopping down from my perch on bar stool beside Edward.

"Your very welcome Bella dear," Esme said with a smile in her voice, as she darted out of the kitchen; the plate, cup and utensils, I had used were already washed, dried and put away.

Making our way to the garage, Edward of course held the door open for both Alice and I; slapping my ass as I walked by, I giggled happily. Darting past us, and opening both the front and back passenger doors, Alice and I both slid in and buckled up.

Edward was beside me before I could turn my head to look at him. "Where would you two like to go first?" Edward asked as we flew down the drive way and out onto the highway.

"If memory serves me correct...you owe me a hundred new bras, Mr. Cullen." I giggled leaning over to kiss his cheek.


End file.
